I'll See You Soon
by VStheworld
Summary: B & J consummate their relationship but the next morning J is gone. B finds comfort in Edward. When J comes back B must choose b/w the two. The decision becomes harder when Riley shows up showing Bella what she could have with eternal life.
1. Eat

6 Months after _Critical Mass _ended.

It's October, midterm preparations are underway for my first semester classes at the community college near Forks. Nothing much has changed school-wise. Mike, Jessica, Angela and Ben all attend the college there too. We even have our own section in the student union for Forks High graduates. Familiar mundane faces fill each of my classes since it is so small. The college money I had been saving up wasn't much from working a part time time job at the Newton's store. The best decision for me right now was to live at Charlie's while going to work and school. I don't mind being stuck in Forks at all. My time besides work and school is split between my boyfriend and werewolf Jacob Black, my friends from school and my best friend slash former love, vampire Edward Cullen.

Charlie explained to me before to manage my time to not fill my life up with just one person. And now I am, even though Charlie isn't fond of The Cullens return, especially Edward's. Neither is Jacob. After horrible fights and arguments in the beginning between Jacob and I over spending time with The Cullens, I got my way.

Edward came back to Forks after seeing Alice's vision of me jumping to my supposed death into the ocean. He tried reasoning his leaving over a year a go for my well being and that he was still completely in love with me. I didn't believe it, er well wanted to believe it because that spring I began dating Jacob, who also had imprinted on me, another werewolf thing. Edward wanted to be with me but understood that I was taken. A compromise was set in place. Edward and I don't talk about our feelings, it's hard...for both of us but we make it work.

I was chirped into coherency by birds that had made a nest in between my window panes. I stretched in my bed, my joints felt like they hadn't moved for years. My blankets and comforters were all knocked off the bed, I must have had a rough sleep. I sat up and huffed from the sleep that was still in my back. "Oh!" I gasped as I saw someone sitting in my rocking chair. Edward.

"Good morning." Edward smiled his infamous crooked smile while rocking back and forth.

We were supposed to go hiking on Mt. Hood today in Portland. Hiking was one of the physical activities the new phase of our relationship took up. Something healthy and something that friends would do, right?

"Please tell me I didn't oversleep?" I asked jumping out of bed too fast. The room spun and my eyes were being clouded over by television snow.

Before the room stopped spinning and my eyes adjusted Edward had his arms around me sitting me down. A look of concern flashed through his eyes as I turned to him. The look quickly resolved into amusement. "Hiking may not be a good idea today." Edward smiled.

I turned and looked at my alarm clock, "10:30! Edward I told you yesterday you could wake me up if I wasn't up at 8!"

"You looked like you needed your rest when I got here, I didn't want to wake you. You need to at least be cohearent to hike."

Edward always put me and my needs first...even though we weren't together, together.

"I'm wide awake and ready for some dirt and trees, lets go." I said as I got out of bed successfully this time.

"Breakfast first" Edward advised appearing in front of me before I could take a step out of my bedroom.

"Fine, may I dress first?" I snipped at him, slowly holding up my clothes in front of his face.

He rolled his eyes and let me pass, stepping away and allowing me to proceed with his arm pulled away from him acting as a servant.

I headed down stairs to find Edward holding the chair out for me. I curtsied to him and sat down. He appeared in the seat across from me before I had the chance to scoot the chair towards the table. I wore a huge grin on my face as I stared at him. Even after everything we had been through I still melted inside when he looked at me in certain ways, and I'm sure he could tell the effect he had on me still by the splatting of my heart beat. "Well..." I eyed him.

"What?" He hated that he couldn't read my mind.

"What's for breakfast?" I sarcastically asked, my eyes wide searching the kitchen.

"No, not this again!" Edward looked at me sternly.

I laughed and jumped up and went to the cabinets. "Let's see, it looks like we have a few white tailed deer, some mountain lion, know thats your fave, and ummm and a few squirrels..."

"Stop it." Edward grumbled.

I poured myself some orange juice and I got my cereal, sat at the table and started eating. "What is that?" Edward asked intrigued, his eyes widening at my glass of orange juice.

"Have you not seen Star Trek?" I asked taking a sip out of the cup he was asking about.

"Umm...the television show? Yes. I didn't think you would be a fan. I'm sure it is before your time." He was thoroughly confused. I could tell he was thinking about my age and the date that the show was released. He also knew that I had no appetite for modern day television.

"I know there was an entire series of Star-Trek and I've passed through the channels it aired when I was younger but they made a movie. We went to Port Angeles the other day and watched it. Edward, you have to see it sometime! It was so intense! " I grunted and crushed my hands into fists. " I've never seen the show, didn't know what a Klingon was until I watched it and I was blown away. This is Spock." I introduced as I picked up my cup and did the Vanna White _Wheel of Fortune _showing to my Burger King Spock cup.

His eyes never left mine to examine the cup. He studied my expression and his serious look turned to sincere amusement as he took in my elaborate fascination with the glass.

"I still have three more to get to complete my collection." I noted.

"Ahh..What did you do yesterday?" Edward asked. He honestly did not know since his sister Alice could not see my plans when I was with Jacob.

I stopped chewing and put my spoon down. Sometimes I feel like I have to think things through before talking to Edward about Jacob and I. He gets upset by some of the things I let him in on. He doesn't think I am safe around him. He won't like what I'm about to tell him. "We rode our motorcycles around this dirt road in the country and Sam and Emily had a cookout to celebrate their engagement. They're getting married next month. I'm not sure why so soon. I thought weddings took like a year to plan out."

I wasn't surprised that it angered Edward when I told him about the motorcycles, he's been insisting getting me a helmet but I knew it would make Jacob mad that Edward would buy me things.

"Good for them." Was all Edward said, his eyes dropped to the bowl in front of me.

I took a big bite and chewed.

And that was all that was said about Jacob or any of the werewolves down at La Push. After I ate, I jumped on his back and we made our way to Portland. We spent the afternoon hiking around the woods and Mt. Hood and then rested at the top once we reached it. We sat up there for a few hours talking and watching people below us. It was a blessing that we could still be ourselves when we were together even though I was no longer his. We were completely comfortable with each other without the pressures of being intimate with one another. But sometimes I could see a touch of sadness in him when he wasn't being careful, letting his guard down. It made my heart hurt and my stomach flip. I felt like I was holding him hostage, only allowing a friendship when I knew he wanted much more. I know the best thing for him would be to leave and never come back. Like he was supposed to do the first time. He told me he feels like he has a duty to stay and look after me after inflicting so much danger to me with a slew of vampires who wanted me dead and my new friends and his only enemy the werewolves. And there was one more thing, he said he would never leave me again, that he would prove to me that he still loved and his leaving was the worst mistake he's ever made and would stay and convince me that he still loved me. Which I believe now but the first few months I did not listen to him. Edward knew that I didn't want him to leave either, I wouldn't be whole anymore, like I was before when he took off.

It was nearing dusk when we arrived back to Charlie's house. Charlie was home and I was going to fix dinner for the both of us. "Do you want to help?" I asked.

Edward looked at the door, eyeing it like he could see through it, "Charlie still isn't fond of me." He squinted at me, he was reading Charlie's mind through the door most likely.

"F' Charlie, c'mon." I said grabbing his arm.

"Hey! Where did that language come from?!" Edward almost sounded offended.

"Errr Jacob." I mumbled opening the door.

Edward huffed and I heard a low hiss come from deep from his chest.

"Hi Bella, Edward. I didn't hear you guys pull up." Charlie greeted us from the recliner.

I ignored Charlie's observation and went straight to the topic of food. "Dad, I got this pasta cook book the other day and I wanted to try something from it. We can fix a chicken macaroni bake. It will take like an hour and a half though. Did you eat lunch early?" I asked scrounging around the cabinet for the ingredients.

"Sounds great Bella." Charlie gave no reason to get off the chair.

Edward was a great cook now, he often helped fix meals for Charlie and I when he came over. I didn't punish him with the raw chicken, he cringed away from that. He boiled and fixed the macaroni, mixed ingredients and greased the pan for me as I did the rest.

It was then under the kitchen and stove lights that I noticed his eyes and the bags around them.

"Hey when was the last time you hunted?" I whispered next to him over the stove.

"Last Monday" He shrugged.

I almost gasped. I didn't like that he wasn't eating right, it just made everything harder for him since I smelled too appetizing to him.

"Edward! You can't do this to yourself! Are you planning on going anywhere anytime soon?" I hissed.

He looked at me, "Yes" he finally said.

"Why this long?"

He looked at me again, as if he didn't want to tell me.

"What is it?" I started to probe.

He really didn't want to tell me.

I put the dish towel and spoon that I was holding on the table and stood there with my hands on my hips glaring at him.

He laughed and took a step towards me and hesitated but then in a split second I was in his arms, my face pressed up against his chest. His lips were right at my ear, "You are adorable when you try to be serious." He murmered. "Emmett and Jasper picked up on an unusual scent late last week that wasn't from one of us. It was only one and we haven't picked up anything since then. I haven't left only out of precaution." He explained.

I pulled away from his embrace and looked up at him sadly, "Edward I'm so tired of...of everything." That statement applied to many things. I put a hand up to my forehead and took a deep breath. Ever since my encounter in the meadow with Laurent and the young visitor in my room a half a year a go everyone has been on guard of the strange events that all result most likely from Victoria.

Bubbling, sizzling and hissing came from behind me. I spun around and saw the pot of pasta had bubbled over. Edward was there before me taking it off the burner and turning down the heat. I walked over to the stove too. "Nothing to worry about." Edward smiled as he fidgeted with the stove with one hand and stroking my hair with the other.

"Pasta's done." I quickly changed the subject and smiled at him.

He laughed and grabbed the pot and poured the hot water into the sink, he wouldn't allow me to do it because last time I scalded myself when the water that splashed up onto my cheek.

We finished dinner and Edward did not stay for the eating part, as usual. I went to the door to let him out, "Thanks for today, I really enjoyed it. I think it made the list of top days." I said as we walked outside.

"Mine too." He said smiling, standing in an awkward position. Saying goodbye was the weirdest part of our relationship.

"Eat." I said flatly.

"I will." He put his hands up in defeat.

"I'll see you soon." I took a step towards him.

"Yes, soon." I could hardly hear him. His face was twisted with emotion.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He let out a big sigh and finally returned the hug.


	2. Size

I was standing in my bedroom fidgeting with a long sleeved black shirt that I just put on. I was getting ready to head down to La Push and spend the evening with Jacob and most likely spending the night with him. Charlie didn't mind me staying with him, he said he trusts me to make right decisions and I'm 19. In other words for me, Charlie loves Jacob, hates Edward. If it was the other way around I would still be under strict curfew that I would have to break. I picked up my over night bag and headed down stairs to say good night to Charlie.

"You look nice Bells. I was about to ask you if you wanted some extra cash so you could go shopping for warmer clothes this winter." Charlie greeted me in the kitchen as he was rummaging for the leftovers from the night before.

"Dad you don't need to give me money." I shook my head.

"No Bells I insist. Maybe you and Alice can go to Port Angeles some afternoon."

"Sure, sure."

"How was that accounting test today?" These days Charlie tried picking up an interest in my life more.

"I think I did pretty good." I was getting impatient to see Jacob. I didn't get to see him yesterday.

"Good. Well have a good night. Tell Billy and Jake I say hi."

"Will do, see you tomorrow dad." Finally.

I was interrupted when I was walking to my truck.

"Bella Bella Bella Bella we're going to have so much fun this weekend!" Alice flitted beside suddenly.

I wasn't surprised anymore by unsuspected visitors. It was far too common these days.

"Hi Alice!" It had been almost a week since I last saw her.

We hugged and she pulled back her eyes on my shirt. "Oh my god, your boobs are huge!" Alice reached out to touch but I slapped her hand away, hurting my own.

"What the hell Alice!" I shielded myself.

"Is it a bra? Did you go shopping without me?!" Alice's face turned sulky.

"No and no! You...You can't just touch people like that Alice!" I was freaked.

"Sorry about that...But what did you do?" Her eyes bugged.

"Nothing." I knew exactly why my chest was bigger. I started taking birth control last month in case I ever decided to take Jake and I's relationship to the next level. So far I've chickened out numerous times making Jacob crazy. I heard that birth control has different effects and this was just one of them. I was defenitly not comfortable talking about it to Alice. There was a good chance she would find out sooner or later. I was hoping that she wouldn't though because there was a good chance that Edward would find out and that is the last person I would want to know about this.

"You can tell me Bella. I won't say anything. What's your secret?" She whispered taking too much interest in this.

I shrugged and walked passed her. "Bella!" she whined.

"I'm sure you'll find out someday, I wouldn't get too worked up over it Alice." I huffed.

"Are you going to Jacob's?" She asked appearing next to me again.

"Yes."

"Thats what I thought cause I don't see anything." She didn't like that she couldn't see into my future when I was with Jacob, which was often.

"I'll call you Thursday to see what are plans are for the weekend." I smiled climbing into my truck.

"Okay, fine. And know this Bella, I will find out your secret." She glared at me.

"I'm sure you will Alice." I shut my door and started my truck and made my way to La Push.


	3. Aberdeen

My truck trudged along the wet highway towards La Push. I was thinking about Alice's speculation of my body and the weird scenario that played out. Alice, I knew would get to the bottom of it for sure. My thoughts quickly changed when I reached the outskirts of La Push. A dark tall boy was running out of the forest...completely naked with only shards of fabric covering his front side. Jacob was running towards me waving his free hand while his other covered himself. He looked around him making sure no one could get a look of his back side. I slammed on the breaks as he jogged up the road and quickly got in.

"What the hell Jake!" I screeched as he situated himself inside the cab. He looked around once more and then a huge grin formed on his face.

"Just drive." He smiled and then looked at me. He reached over and gave me a peck on the cheek and then quickly pulled away cringing, "Oh God Alice!" He wiped his nose.

"Yeah it was a surprise to me too. No but seriously what the hell is going on?!" I screamed again.

"Seth Clearwater just phased for the first time last night. We're having trouble with him. He took off a little bit a go, I didn't have time to take off my clothes to go after him. So yeah...But I heard you coming from a mile away so I figured you could pick me up since I was in the area." His whole body was turned towards me, I couldn't help but blush.

"Seth's not taking to it well?" I asked, I couldn't help but look down at him. He noticed that too.

"Oh, he's taking it _better_. He's way too young so he's acting like any pre-adolescent wolf would do I guess. His sister got him back into territory and yelled at him. Which is good, I didn't feel like dealing with it today. I was looking forward to being with you all evening!" Jacob's smile widened as did mine. This whole wolf thing was common jargon to us now. It hardly _phased me_ to hear pack drama now.

We made our way back to Jacob's house and he slipped out trying to go unnoticed by his dad as he climbed through his bedroom window for clothes. I got out of the truck and met him on the front porch. He took my hand and kissed it and led me into his house.

We said our greetings to Billy who acted like he didn't hear Jacob rummaging through his room before taking me into it.

"I want to take you out tonight." Jacob said pinning me against the door when we he shut the bedroom door behind us.

"Why?" We are not the type of people to _'go out'_. The most formal we have gotten as a couple was a picnic out in a nearby field on a warm day.

"Cause I never do. I was just thinking about that today." He said biting his lip looking at me seductively, then crushing his lips to mine.

I pulled back to respond, "I don't care about that kind of stuff Jake. I enjoy just relaxing at the beach or working in the garage with you, you know that!"

"And that's one small reason why I love you so incredibly much!" Jacob gritted between his teeth before he slammed his lips into mine again. "We should do something though, I don't know how healthy this is just laying around the house, beach and the bed of the truck making out all day and night." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Hey we do other things! Don't make us sound like we're a purely sexual couple now!" I said kissing him back, with tounge.

He groaned and deepened the kiss and ran his hand up my leg until he was grabbing my ass. "Mmm hmm don't want to give anyone that impression of us." He mumbled against my lips.

I was the one that broke the kiss. "We need to do something before our assumption about ourselves is true."

"I guess your right." Jacob turned and pushed himself up against the wall and sighed looking me over, "I say we go to Aberdeen." Aberdeen held many stores and businesses and was the closest place of actual civilization to La Push.

"We could go to Walmart!" My eyes lit up. I needed to buy many different things and with the lack of availability of stores around La Push this was the best idea of the day.

"Woah! Someone's way too excited about this!" Jacob raised his hands.

"Uh yeah how many times do we get to go to Walmart ever?" I playfully punched him in the stomach. He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up, "You're too cute for your own good. C'mon lets get you to the Walmarts!" He imitated a hick voice.

We literally spent two hours at Walmart. I bought a lot of food for Charlie's house, some much needed school supplies and a few CDs. We ate at a local pizza joint and headed back in my truck towards La Push.

"It's so clear tonight, I can see the stars for once!" I noted pressing my face to the passenger window looking up. We were about twenty miles away from La Push territory on the highway.

"Yeah it's nice isn't it?" Jacob grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. I looked back at him and he wore the sweetest smile on his face. I scooted beside him in my old pick-up and snuggled against him. "I love you." I whispered in his ear. He slowed the truck and turned onto an empty dirt road. "What are we doing?"

"Let's lay on the bed and watch for shooting stars. It's something I do when it's clear out when I'm running with Sam." His face lit up and so did mine. We got the blanket I always keep in the truck and we jumped in the back and watched for shooting stars and patterns. A half an hour went by and eventually our star gazing turned into eye gazing at each other and that turned into a full blown make out session. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other.

Jacob had my shirt off and I had his jeans off. He was hovering over me lapping at my neck and grinding into me when we heard growling coming from the west of us. Instinctively Jacob jumped up, his legs on either side of me, rocking the bed of the truck. "What the hell?!" Jacob squinted into the night. I could hear three sets of feet running through the field near us.

I was frightened until I heard a familiar voice, "Jacob get your little yapper dog off our tail we're trying to eat!" Alice called as she ran past the truck. I was in shock. My arms were up towards my face waiting for something bad to happen but when I heard Alice's voice I couldn't move. The tail-gate of the truck was open, exposing us. It had to be a scene. My shirt off on the edge of the truck and Jacob's jeans hanging on the side of the mirror, I was laying down as Jacob Black stood over me in just his black briefs.

"Yes, it would be much apprecia..." The sentence wasn't finished. I knew that voice too! Edward slowed to a stop right into my peripheral vision when he saw the sight of Jacob and I. In a split second he was gone, following Alice's lead as the medium sized wolf came charging and barking at them. I lye there speech-less. This could only happen to us. Jacob was out of his shirt and jumped out of the bed of the truck and took off into the night towards them but before he disappeared he called out "I gotta take care of Seth I'll be back in less than five minutes I swear! Love you!" and then he was gone.

I scrambled for my shirt and jumped into the cab and waited for Jacob to come back. Not only did Alice get a handful of me today but both her and Edward got an eyeful into what Jake and I's relationship entailed. I wondered how this made Edward feel too. We never went the distance Jake and I do now. My face was still scarlet as I was thinking about all that just went down. Someone really needs to get Seth a tranquilizer.


	4. Creme & Lavender

_**This is the "funnest" fanfic I am writing but my hits tell me that it's not a fan favorite. Please review so I have the motivation to write more of my favorite story. Weird thing happened the day after I published Ch. 3. I researched and found Aberdeen in Ch. 3 really held the closest Walmart and it's just a small town. Well I was watching a group of kids play Rockband the day after and the "interesting fact" that came up before they started playing a Nirvana song was that 'Even though Nirvana is known as a huge Seattle grunge band, the band is actually from the small shipping town of ABERDEEN, WA.' It was the weirdest coincidence I probably ever experienced.**_

I stood there in the Seattle mall staring at a _Victoria's Secret_ display. Alice was in _American Apparel_, I wouldn't have begun to think about entering the store with her around. The sign for the "Semi-Annual Sale" in big pink bold letters were strung across the store with posters of models showing off new _Miracle bra push-ups_. As of late, I had been thinking more and more about having sex with Jacob. I wanted it. He wanted it, why not? There were a number of reasons I had been avoiding it. One, I know how dramatic relationships are when they start involving sex; my friends at school are prime examples. Two, abstinence is the only way of preventing un-wanted pregnancies, and Three…Edward. I might be fully dedicated to Jacob but it just hasn't felt right to offer such a big part of myself to Jacob while Edward is still clearly waiting on the side-lines. This also brings up another subject I have been trying to deal with. I've been wrestling with the idea of telling Edward that they all need to leave Forks. I'm the reason they are back and it's absolutely not fair to Edward to sit around waiting to kill a vampire while I'm with another person. It's selfish of me to keep them around, even though I want Edward and Alice with me, it's not right. This is what I was going to tell Alice today.

"C'mon let's go in!" Alice creeped up behind me.

I flinched "Alice you scared the shit out of me!"

"Let me get you a bra Bella. I mean you need a new one with your ever growing…"

"Stop it Alice." I glared at her as she eyed my chest. I crossed my arms of them, insecurely.

"I need one too. Let's go." She had a death grip on my arm as she tugged me along inside.

I followed her around, still with my arms crossed. "Bella go pick out some things and try them on!" She pushed me my own way now.

"I, I think I'll just wait on the bench for you." I stuttered.

"No you're not! This is girls' day and it happens to entail shopping for bras!"

"Fine." I stomped off.

To my surprise Alice did leave me alone as I looked for a few things that I wanted. I picked out some basic whites and tan bras that I thought would fit me right. A few minutes passed and Alice came up to me with a load of undergarments in hand and gasped, "Isabella Swan you are not buying those! Do I have to do everything for you?" She freed one hand and snatched away my findings.

"What are you talking about?" I hissed.

"These are ugly! I'm picking out your bras now. Follow me young lady, your first time is not going to include a tan bra. No, you want to remember this for good when you look back on it, your going to be asking yourself "Why didn't I get that cute crème and lavender sexy Denim bra instead of that ugly as sin one!" She rambled to herself as she picked out a mother load of bras. I rolled my eyes at her, how did she know I was thinking about losing the _V_ card, maybe she saw something. _Please be a subjective vision!_

She finally finished and I followed her to the dressing area. "You here." She commanded pointing to the room next to hers. I snatched away the bras and stomped in.

I was somewhat insecure of my body when it came to these sorts of things. I was kind of nervous trying some of the garments on Alice had picked out for me. But I did and to my surprise I thought I looked kind of good in them. They made me feel kind of _sexy_. As I was staring at myself in the mirror Alice appeared next to me, frightening me again. I jumped and tried awkwardly covering myself with my hands to no avail. "Alice get out of here!" I hissed.

"Bella you look beautiful. You're like a precious porcelain doll!" She cried._ I've heard that before_.

Alice practically bought the store out and after much protest over who was buying my bras she ended up buying them for me, as an early _birthday present_.

Next was the food court. Alice, of course didn't eat but I got the fried rice from PF Chang's.

I didn't know how I was going to say it without being rude so I just said it. "Alice…I think its best that you and Edward left Forks. It's not for you and you don't know how awful I feel that you are here, for no good reason. I feel like I'm keeping him here to fight my battles. He needs to go back to what he was doing before he came back. It would be better for him. You know I want you two here, if I could have you forever I would…it's just unfair and I'm selfish." She sat there patiently until I was finished. I stared at her.

She was quiet for a moment and a slight smile crossed her face, "Bella, did Edward ever tell you what he did when he was apart from you?"

I thought for a second. He hadn't told me specifically just that he had his distractions. "He was busy with other things. He had distractions." I said quietly.

Alice leaned closer to me, "_Distractions_ really?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Bella he lived under a rock, literally! He only came out to try to track Victoria and to eat. His life wasn't much of anything. Bella, he really loves _you_!" I cringed. "He wants you safe, he wants…He wants the world for you! And soon enough Bella, he's going to start fighting for you." She said those words carefully.

"What do you mean fight?" I didn't desire any vampire/werewolf brawls over me.

"You don't think he's just going to sit in the wings for you forever do you?" Alice eyed me.

"I need to tell him to leave; I need to tell him to let me go." I picked up my tray and dumped it.

"That will just make him start fighting sooner…and _harder_. And from that little _show_ we both got an eyeful of the other night of you and Jake I wouldn't be surprised if that will make him start soon." Alice got up with me.

"Let's get out of here." I mumbled. I didn't want a reminder of what Edward saw that night Seth chased them through the night.

We made it back to Forks by dusk and I took a shower right when I got home. I wanted to surprise Jacob tonight. I contemplated putting on the crème and lavender lace bra Alice had picked out for me. I went ahead and did. I looked at myself in the mirror and started playing with my hair. I felt comfortable in it even though it hardly covered any part of me. I went ahead and dressed in my new clothes, put a little make-up on and even spritzed a little perfume on me before heading to La Push.

Jacob's car was sitting in front of his house but that didn't mean anything he could be with Sam somewhere patrolling.

I let myself in the house without knocking; I really didn't need to anymore. I hardly let out a "Hi" to Billy but he was no where to be found. I tapped on Jacob's door, "Yeah?" He called.

"Hey" I responded back, waiting for him to open the door. I heard him get up and scurry to the door.

"Your back!" He exclaimed with wide excited eyes as he opened the door and embraced me.

"Yeah I got back about an hour a go." I found myself getting butterflies in my stomach.

"Did you have fun?" He asked pulling me into his room.

"Yep, even though Alice ended up buying _me_ stuff."

"What did you get?" He sincerely acted like he wanted to know what I got.

I changed the subject, "Where's your dad?"

"Gone for night, are you staying the night?"

"Yes." How convenient. What came over me, I wasn't sure but I put both hands on his face and crushed my lips to his forcing his lips open with my tongue. Of course, he didn't protest. He pulled me closer to him and scooted farther onto the bed.

"Well hello!" He grinned running his hand up and down my back. "You smell heavenly and look gorgeous." His lips trailed along my neck.

"Thank you." I bit my lower lip. "Do you have to run any shifts?" I asked breathlessly.

"No, why?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Just wanted to make sure I could have you all to myself tonight."

"Mmm, Tonight then I'm all yours!" He scooted beneath me and wrapped his arms around me.

For a minute, so I could think this through, we did our usual making out but I pulled away and got off the bed.

He looked at me worried. I had to do this sexy so he wouldn't think I was getting ready to puke. "What are you doing?" He whined. I didn't respond. I stood there for a moment and he went to get up but I motioned for him to stop.

"I want to show you what I got today." I said sheepishly.

His eyebrows rose.

Slowly I pulled off my shirt as seductively as I could, his eyes widened. Next were my pants, those were trickier. I finally got them off without falling over and stood up looking at Jacob. I don't think he was breathing. This was good _I think_. I took my hair down and shook it out. I bit my lower lip and tried to stare at him as seductively as I could. Jacob gulped and scooted himself to the edge of the bed. I stood there like I practiced in my room earlier in my crème and lavender push up bra, wanting _Jacob_.

I walked over to him and lowered myself onto his lap, my arms wrapping around his neck. He gulped again, his hands shook as he wrapped them around my waist. I leaned into his ear, "I'm ready." I whispered and licked the edge of his ear down to the lobe.


	5. Broken Seal

"_**I'll See You Soon" Soundtrack (Playlist) is listed under my profile.**_

_**You will never know how awkward I felt writing this chapter. Thank you.**_

I stood back up and carefully started pulling down my panties. Jacob shot up and went over to me. "Let me do that." He whispered from behind as his hands ran over my breasts, stomach and then my panties. He circled his finger under them and then with one gentle tug the fabric fell to my feet. I stepped out of them and Jacob walked around to the front of me and wrapped his arms around my torso. "Are you sure you're ready?" He asked.

"Yes I'm sure. I want you Jacob." I pulled on his lower lip gently with my teeth.

He groaned in pleasure, "I mean we've had a few close calls. I want to make sure you are completely ready for this." He gulped down.

"I'm _completely_ ready." I didn't hesitate to answer. He pulled me to the bed so I was sitting on top of him. He kissed each of my breasts before reaching around and unsnapping my bra. I lifted my arms high above my head so he could slip it off. As soon as the bra was thrown to the ground he took my right breast into his mouth and sucked at my nipple. I threw my head back and moaned. He did the same with my left..

I made him lay back so I could remove his shorts. I pulled them off the most seductively I could...With my teeth. I licked his torso and pulled at his shorts. Of course Jacob wasn't wearing briefs. He only did when we would be out in public. It was a hassle for him to remove those too when phasing to a wolf. Jacob's throbbing hard on sprung out of his shorts as soon as they were passed his thighs. My hands immediately reached for it and started massaging and circling his tip. I brought my mouth to it and carefully took him in. His head fell back and he moaned. His fingers ran through my hair. Clearly, I didn't want him to cum now so I stopped and straddled myself around him lowering myself to where I was barely touching his throbbing member. He sat up and put both hands on my hips lowering myself little-by-little onto himself. That's when I froze. _This was going to happen_! Jacob knew instantly what I was thinking.

"Oh no! Bella! Are you alright?" He was whining more than asking if I was okay. I just stared at him. He lifted me off of him sighing. As he was getting ready to lay me down on the bed I snapped out of it.

"No! I_ want_ this. I need to go slow, I think that's all." I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him and re-wound my legs back around him.

"Are you sure? I'm not doing anything you are not ready for." He re-assured me.

"Positive." I let out between kisses.

Slowly Jacob crawled up the bed with me on top of him and threw the covers over us. He put both of his hands on my hips and lay me on the bed. He hovered over me and oh so slowly he started lowering himself onto me. He took his right hand cupped my face, looking intently into my eyes, "I know this is stereotypical right now but God I love you Bella!" He gritted through his teeth.

I giggled, it was stereotypical, "I love you Jacob." My hand reached for his face and stroked it with the back of mine. He caught my wrist and kissed it before releasing it.

I was getting restless with how slow it was taking for him to actually _do it_. I knew he was only going this speed for my sake, in case I wanted to chicken out again. I wasn't, I was ready. I wanted it _now_. I lifted myself up so we could meet eye to eye and slowly lowered myself more onto him. He moaned and pulled me closer to him and started pumping himself up and down wit just the tip of himself. Our motions became in sync and I was ready for more of him. "Jacob!" I kept saying over and over again. "Oh Jake!" I moaned, my fingers clawing into the back of his neck.

"Yes? Bella! Do you want me to go slower? Are you alright?" It was so precious how he was so worried about me.

I unlatched my mouth from his neck and met his gaze I sucked on his lower lip for a moment and pulled back a little, "Fuck me Jacob!" I whimpered. Jacob's hands tightened around me and he pushed me back down onto the bed and fully pushed himself into me. My back arched and my hands gripped the sheets as I moaned in both pain and pleasure. I looked up at Jacob he was groaning his eyes seemed to roll into the back of his head but his head snapped up and he tried to catch his breath. It hurt but I was ready for it. He lowered his whole body to me, his face just an inch from mine. Tears were forming in his eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I just nodded my head and "Mmm hmm'd" to him. He kissed me softly and started pumping himself inside me. Slowly I wrapped my legs around his trying to find a position that was comfortable but it only hurt me more. I tried to keep rhythm with him. Our eyes reflected each others: a tear trickling down our cheeks, fear and amazement were both apparent in our eyes as we both started to let ourselves be free with one another. Jacob's rhythms started to become faster and harder I kept clutching at the sheets moaning from the feel of him inside of me.

"Bella, I'm about to cum. Where should I cum?" He asked. I didn't think about this part. I had been on birth control for a long time so I wasn't worried about that. I wanted _all _of him.

"Inside me." I whispered weakly to him as I writhed around the sheets.

"Are you sure? I didn't use protection." Jacob started to get worried.

"It's alright I've been taking the pill for a while now. Its okay I want it, I want you. I want to _feel _you!" I moaned running my hand up and down his chest. He gulped and nodded, kissing me up and down my neck. He knew how this drove me crazy. It distracted me momentarily from the pressure that he was putting inside me and I began enjoying myself even more. I ran my hand down to my core and started rubbing my bundle of nerves, Jacob took notice and suddenly his hand was there wanting to do it for me. It drove me crazy as soon as he started to touch me. I pushed myself against him harder even though the pressure from it was unbelievable, I was still loving it.

Jacob threw his head back and scrunched his face and moaned "God Bella you're so tight. Oh fuck!" With my last thrust he released inside of me. His whole body shook above me as he pounded into me as he came. Soon after, I followed with my own climax as he still massaged my core.

He delicately pulled out of me and looked down. "Oh God Bella! Oh no I hurt you! I ruined you! Oh shit! Baby tell me how hurt you are?" Jacob's eyes were bulged out of his head; he was on the verge of crying.

"What? What is it?" I got worried now. I looked down to where he was staring at and saw myself bleeding from where he removed. It wasn't just a little bit either. I started to get light headed. I may be used to having periods but this was traumatic. "Oh God! Oh no!" I gasped and started pulling the covers and Jacob off of me. Tears started to form. "What's happening?" I shot out of the bed and Jacob stared at me helplessly and confused. Completely naked I ran out of his room to the bathroom counting my lucky stars that Billy was nowhere in sight. I stayed in there for ten minutes cleaning myself up and trying to calm myself down. I knew bleeding happens but I didn't know it was supposed to do_ this_! Jacob, thank God gave me space to figure out what was going on and then checked on me. He knocked lightly at the door.

"Are you okay? Can I come in?" Jacob whispered, worried.

I tried covering my naked body the best I could, but there was only so much I could do. "Yeah, come in."

Slowly he opened the door and came over to me, "Was that supposed to happen? Do I need to take you to the hospital?" He asked with worried eyes.

"No, I'll be fine. I didn't know that I was supposed to bleed this much." I hung my head low, not meeting his gaze, embarrassed.

He placed his hand under my chin and raised my face up to meet his. "It's okay. Don't be embarrassed, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. We both didn't know this was going to happen." He slightly smiled and kissed my forehead. "Do you need anything? Can I do anything for you?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine." No matter what he said I still felt a little upset by it all.

"If you are ready I want you to come back to bed with me. Please." He begged quietly. It was so cute.

I took his awaiting hand and he led me back to his room. We both got tucked into bed. Jacob cuddled me tight to himself. We talked about what we were feeling while we made love until we both fell asleep. I soon found out the night wasn't over when Jacob awakened me in the early hours of the morning with his awaiting pulsing hard member.

I then had another surprise in store for me from Jacob when I woke up at 9:30 in the morning. I wasn't sure if he was conscience or not but I felt him slowly thrust into me from behind. I turned over and kissed him consciously and gave him what I soon found out, unconsciously desired.

I left him that morning promising him a surprise that afternoon. He had no idea what was in store for him.

I drove home and took a long shower and inspected the damage that I definitely felt after making love to Jacob for the first time. I didn't know how I would be able to accomplish the tasks that were waiting for me on 702 Thimbleberry Lane.

_ _ _ _ _ _

After I signed my signature on the last page of papers I turned around and hugged Charlie. "Thank you so much dad!" I squealed. I turned to my new landlord and thanked her for everything too.

"This one was all on you kid. You wouldn't even let me pay the deposit! You deserve it Bella." Charlie patted me on the back. I couldn't wait to fix my new house up and show Jacob this afternoon.

"Dad I can do this!" I got up on the chair and fixed the curtains in the tiny living room that now _sort of_ belonged to me.

"Alright Bells go ahead. I gotta get back to the station anyway. But before I forget I got something for you." Charlie went to the kitchen and came back with a small green box. "I put you on the police station cell phone plan, it's kind of like a family plan except instead of free family calling...Well you have free calling to and from any of the officers in Forks, including me, _your_ family." Charlie handed me a small black flip phone.

"No way Dad! Thanks so much!" I jumped off the chair and forgot about my curtains. I hugged him and then started playing with the phone. "No way it has Tetris!"

"Your Welcome. I put your phone number on the fridge. The house, my cell and the station number is already programmed in there along with all the other officers phone numbers. You can delete those if you want. You need a phone since you're no longer living with me." He patted me on the head like a little kid and walked to the door.

"Dad I'll be around all the time. I'll stop in tonight and make sure you haven't burnt the house down with your dinner!" I laughed.

"I'm ordering pizza tonight thank you very much." And with that Charlie left.

I sat on my_ sort of _new couch, a gift from Alice that came out of the Cullens house and started putting in phone numbers. The first was Jacob's but I wasn't going to call him just yet. I had a bigger something to surprise him with. _My _house.

For months we have been talking about one of us getting our own place because of the recent interruptions by our fathers and _friends _when we wanted to be _alone_. I was the oldest (Jacob should technically be still in high school), I was in college and Jacob needed to be around his house helping out his dad. That being the deciding factor on who should get their own place. I put a rent deposit down on an old one bedroom fixer-upper on the edge of Forks. I am only paying two hundred dollars month by month rent for it. This was my surprise for Jacob. When I left Jacob this morning I told him I had school work. I actually came here and got my keys to the house and Alice and Jasper helped me move my stuff in. Only they did the moving since it took them less than twenty minutes and I did small things around the house including hanging curtains.

The next number I put in was Alice's cell number. She was the first one I called. It only rang once before she answered, "How much do you like it? Tell me now!" Alice squealed. She knew before I did that I was getting a cell phone by her uncanny ability to see the future before I even did.

"It's great! I can't believe Charlie did this for me! You're the first person I called!"

"Yeah I know duh!" She laughed.

"Does Edward know I have a cell phone?" I asked wanting to surprise at least someone.

"No I don't think so. He wasn't around me when I had my vision."

"Good! I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"K bye!" The phone went dead.

I saved Edward's phone number and dialed it. He answered after four rings.

"Hello?" He was thoroughly confused, this was good. No one calls Edward's phone except family and me.

"Hiiiii!" I squealed at him.

"Bella what's wrong? Where are you calling from?" His voice was panicked.

"Nothing is wrong! You ruin the surprise out of everything you know that?" I sighed.

"What did I do?" How could I be angry with that angelic sincere voice.

"Nothing. I just wanted to surprise you by calling on my new cell phone!" I went along with my surprise.

"You got a cell phone? That's great." He didn't seem too thrilled.

"You know to go along with my new house...err old...new house. Charlie got it for me you know for safety reasons. You need to save this number."

"Yes I was thinking the same thing actually." Then I heard his car window open, the wind in the phone and heard him chuck something out the window.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Going to visit our friend Mr. J. Jenks. I need a new visa."

"Why?"

"In case I need to go out of the country...legally."

_Weird he doesn't need a visa to do that_, "Oh...Do you think I should surprise Esme and Carlisle?"

He laughed, "Sure they would like that."

"Want to come over tomorrow evening and help me fix the house up?" I have included everyone but him so far, I felt bad.

"Of course I will." Edward was delighted.

I did the same to Esme and Carlisle and went through my phone book after I had my contact list complete. That's when I realized the majority of my phone book was full of vampires and werewolves. This is not normal, not normal at all.

Later that day after I cleaned the windows I made my way to La Push. I tried calling Billy's house first but no one answered. When Jacob heard the distinct sound of my truck I figured he would meet me at the house anyway. When I got there all of the boys' vehicles were parked out front. Emily came running out to meet me.

"Hey Emily!" I greeted her but then I noticed the look of panic on her face.

"Bella you're alright! We've been trying to get a hold of you all day!" I forgot to call Emily to tell her I had a new number...and a house.

"Oh sorry I should have given you my cell phone number. I was going to surprise Jake today. I have my own house now!" I exclaimed. Her face dropped. "What?"

"Have you seen Jacob today?" She seemed uneasy.

"Yeah I left him here at 7:00 AM. Why?" I was getting worried by her expression.

"He's not here Bella. No one has heard from him today." _Hmm, that is strange._

I followed Emily into the house through the hall and to Jacob's room. The boys including Billy were hovered around the bed that was stripped of its sheets and a few others were examining his dark blue blankets and sheets that were bunched up by the door.

"Bella!" Sam came to me.

"She doesn't know anything Sam. She hasn't seen him since this morning."

"What's going on?" My eyes darted everywhere.

"Jacob was supposed to meet us at 10:00 AM this morning and never showed. Even in wolf form we haven't heard anything from him. We searched everywhere. We came here and we found his bed stripped and bloody sheets on the ground. Bella do you know what happened?" Sam looked at me sternly as all of us were crowded around the bed with a blood stain in the middle. THIS...IS...NOT...HAPPENING!

I looked all the guys in the eyes, even Billy. "Umm, no." I said weakly.

Sam didn't buy it, "Bella if you know something you need to let us know, he may be hurt. We need to find out if the blood came from Jacob, we think it did. We also believe there was an altercation of some sort. His room was quite a mess when we got here. Clothes strewn about, a shirt was hanging from his ceiling fan and underwear was found on top of his bed post. His alarm clock and lamp on his table next to his bed were knocked off onto the floor. Bella this is serious!" All sets of eyes were on me. I stared at the blood stain on the middle of the bed and my hand flew to my mouth. _No, no, no!_

"Sam...There was...no altercation. That is _not _Jacob's _blood_." I barely whispered, shaking, I could feel the blood run out of _my_ face.

"What do you mean? What _did _happen Bella?" Sam's stare didn't let up. I kept my eye on the blood spot.

I felt dizzy, like I could vomit all over the bed at any moment. I looked up at Emily meekly trying to convey to her my secret.

"Bella? Bella!" Sam tried to snap me out of my daze.

"It's _my _blood." I whispered my eyes fixed on Emily. It took a few seconds after I said those words and a minute of Emily looking at the underwear and shirt on the fan and post...But Emily realized what I meant and her hand also flew up to her mouth, eyes wide.

"What? Did Jacob hurt you last night Bella? Did he lose control?" Sam still didn't get it.

I couldn't take this any longer, "Sam! Jacob and I had _sex _for the first time last night! That's _my _blood! That's why the sheets are on the floor he was going to clean them!" I screamed and burst into tears. This was too embarrassing.

The boys stared at me wide eyed for a moment then Quil groaned, dropped the sheets he was looking over and covered his mouth. He looked like he was going to vomit. Nothing was said. I didn't even have the heart to even look at Billy. He didn't need to know that his son lost his virginity last night while he was gone for the evening. I ran out of the room with tears streaming down my face, I thought I was going to hyperventilate, Emily chased after me.


	6. Absent

I paced along the beach waiting for Jacob's return. It was nearing dusk and no one had heard from him. I was becoming just as worried as the boys were. I felt useless just sitting around waiting for his return as the boys were searching the woods all over looking for a scent.

"Billy, can you tell Jacob to call me when he comes home? I'll leave my cell phone number on the fridge." I wrote my number on Billy's fridge and spun around when Billy didn't respond. He was lost deep in thought staring at the wall. I just let him be and left the house. I hope he wasn't thinking about me and Jacob's escapades that he now knows about…Probably not, his focus is most likely finding his son. I had to get out of La Push. I was getting too creeped out by today's events.

Home wasn't any better. I sat on my new couch in my new house staring out the door and I realized I was in Billy mood. I couldn't just sit there. Charlie's house it was. I could find some things I could bring back to the house.

"What are you doing here?" Charlie greeted me from the recliner. "Just seeing if I wanted to bring anything else to the house." I sat down on the couch and started watching the game with him. Twenty minutes went by and I realized I was just staring at the television not knowing what was going on screen. "Where's Jacob?" Charlie asked.

I didn't know how to answer this. Tell him he was missing? No, Charlie would get panicked. "I haven't heard from him. He's probably out with the guys." I tried to act nonchalantly. "I'd figure he would be the first one there!" Charlie knew better.

"Yeah I haven't been able to get a hold of him. Billy doesn't know where he is either. I'm sure he's just out with the guys and lost track of time." I tried reassuring him.

I sat there for an hour in my old home. I really needed to get out and stop worrying about what most likely would be nothing. I didn't want any vampire friends to know about what was going on except Alice could probably tell by now what was happening. I didn't want to involve them. I knew Edward would be out looking for him if he knew it made me worry. Who was neutral that I could tolerate? Angela.

"Hello?" She answered on the first ring.

"Hi Angela, it's Bella. Are you doing anything tonight?" I got to the point.

"No, actually I'm really bored. What's up?" She seemed interested.

"Well me too. You know how I told you about my house? I moved in today? Would you like to come over?" She agreed and was excited about coming to see the house.

"What exactly are we doing?" Angela asked as we jumped the big ditch behind my house that leads to woods.

I stopped and took a deep breath and turned to her, "I have something to tell you." I said my eyes tightly closed. I had to tell someone how I was feeling.

"Sure, what's going on?" Angela smiled.

"Well..." My hand ran through my hair and I looked east and west of me then back at Angela. "Okay I'm completely freaking out right now Angela. Jacob's gone. I haven't heard from him all day!" My arms flung out and hit my sides.

Angela looked at me like she was missing the point. I guess I had to tell her the whole story.

"Yeah that doesn't sound like a big deal but last night Jacob and I...We had sex for the first time, both of us, our first time. I stayed the night and I left this morning and everything was fine, more like perfect. I told him I had a surprise for him, the house" I pointed back to it, "and when I got back to his house his friends and dad were worried because they couldn't find him and he hasn't called or came by and he doesn't even know I have a cell phone or a God damn house! The main reason I got this place was for us and now...now..." I couldn't finish I grabbed my hair and growled like a pathetic dog.

"Bella, oh my God I'm so sorry! Do you think he's hurt or he's avoiding you for some reason?" Great, I love how blunt she is about the topic of _avoidance_.

"I don't know! I've been racking my brain for reasons why he has gone and where he went to! I just don't know this is so weird!" She could really see how frustrated I was.

"Well he couldn't have gone far, right?" _Wrong Angela, last time he got upset he went to Canada and back in a few hours just to clear his head._

"Umm, no." I simply answered.

"Maybe he'll be back in the morning. Maybe he's just thinking about what happened last night...Oh God I'm sorry Bella don't listen to me. I don't know what to say. I want to help, I really do! All I can do is just agree, it is weird!" Angela paced back and forth.

I thought for a second, "You're right Angela. I'll try to calm down until morning." I sighed.

Her phone rang and cut our conversation off short. "Yeah, dad? No, I haven't been there in the past three days. I swear! What? Why would someone need those? Actually dad I'm with Bella right now, let me ask her. Bella, is your dad awake?"

"Yeah probably." Why did her dad need to talk to my dad?

"He should be awake. I hope they find him dad. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Angela snapped her phone shut.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Someone broke into my dad's veterinary clinic and stole all of his horse tranquilizers!" Her eyes bugged.

"Weird" I said scrunching my face, "Why would someone need that many horse tranquilizers?"

"To get high maybe? I don't know? People do anything these days to get messed up." She shrugged her shoulders.

I was glad that I had Angela to talk to about girl stuff. Stuff that I couldn't necessarily talk about to my psychic best friend who lives with my telepathic soul mate...former soul mate. She stuck around for another hour talking about our boyfriends and sex, another subject I couldn't talk about to either of the above mentioned.

I promised her I wouldn't worry about things until tomorrow.

I went to bed completely distraught.

I woke up and checked my cell phone that sat next to my bed. Nothing new. I missed nothing while I slept. I called Jacob's house. Unfortunately, Billy answered. "Is Jacob back?"

"No, we haven't heard from him. I'm sorry Bella." Billy said grimly. I gasped.

"What do we do?!" Instantly frantic.

"We do nothing. The boys will handle it. Listen to me Bella do not go out into the woods by yourself! Do you hear me?" Billy was suddenly screaming into the receiver. It scared me.

"Yes I promise." I squeaked.

"Thank you. Now you can come down here anytime but I don't want you out there. It's still not safe for you. You know that right?" He was still screaming, I tried to understand he was just as frantic about Jacob.

"I know." I squeaked again.

Edward called right after I hung up with Billy. He was coming here in an hour. I knew it would be Therapy 101 when he got here. Surely Alice had told him all about my mood swings in the past twenty-four hours. I drug myself out of bed into the shower. My first shower in my new home and I couldn't even enjoy it.

I got out and threw my hair up into a messy pony tail and hurried around the house looking for my clothes I had yet to unpack when there was a knock at the door. Great, Edward decided to come thirty minutes early. I ran to the door and looked out and sure enough he was there, looking like he was about to have a come apart. I opened the door and ran to my room "Be back in a second I can't find my clothes!" I yelled.

I heard him laugh and let himself in. I was rummaging through my room when I heard the door creak open. I stood as still as a statue. Edward wouldn't come in would he?

Of course not. I saw something hit my bed. My dark blue shirt and my skirt. Edward had found my clothes...His favorite shirt. I smiled to myself and put on the clothes picked out for me.

As soon as I emerged from my room Edward started in. "Bella what is going on? I was about to come here last night! It took every ounce of me to not run over! Thank God Angela was here!" Edward was pacing the living room about to lose it.

I slumped down into the couch. "Jacob's gone!"

"Yeah I got that yesterday. What do you mean gone?" He sat next to me.

"He's...just...gone. No explanation, to anyone. No scent trail. Gone!" My hands flew up in front of me, like I was trying to show how helpless I felt. "It's been over twenty-four hours and no one has heard from him. Three hundred miles in wolf form they can hear and they haven't _heard _anything! Unless he has found a glitch in his werewolf genetics where he has found invisibility...Then he's straight up Houdini'd out of here."

"I'll go look for him." Edward suggested.

"That's exactly why I didn't call you yesterday! The boys are looking for him. It would do you no good to do the same!" I sighed, hitting my head on the back of the couch.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Edward gritted through his teeth.

I scooted myself closer to him and put my hands on the sides of his face. I moved my face closer to his, "I don't want you to do anything! You intervening will just make things harder for the boys. I don't want you out there with a pack of wolves!" I said every word slowly.

He sat stone silent for a few moments staring at me, expressionless. Then he moved closer to me. "I know how much you want to go out there to look for him. Let me do it for you!" Edward was _dead _serious.

"No." Is all I said.

In an instant he was furious. He jumped up and started pacing the room again, running his fingers through his hair. How very human of him. "Bella, you are going crazy just sitting here waiting for a phone call! It was unbearable hearing Alice talk about how miserable you were going to be!" Edward growled.

Did he know that I lost my_ virginity_? Did Alice relay that information voluntarily or accidentally to him? I couldn't speak. I just sat there staring at him trying to figure out if he knew or not. He was angry, but if he knew I would think he would be angrier. Except I know how well he puts on a poker face. He was able to leave me without showing any emotion. So, there was no way to tell if he knew. Unless I just asked him...No.

"What is it?!" Edward was suddenly at my side on his knees, practically begging to be in my mind. My expression must have made him react.

I snapped out of my trance and blinked at him. "Oh...What?" I couldn't remember what we were talking about. All I could think about was sex with Jacob.

"You need to tell me what you are thinking! I feel like my heart is going to start beating at any moment!" He clenched the spot where his dead heart used to beat.

"It's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm afraid that Jacob has been kidnapped! I'm afraid that he left me like_ you _left! I'm afraid he's dead or hurt or...God Edward it's not rocket science!" I thought tears would be streaming down my face but I was surprised when they didn't. Edward was still clutching his heart, breathing hard like tears were about to spill out of his eyes. We sat in awkward silence until I got up and walked away. I shouldn't have pulled out the leaving card.

He followed me to the kitchen his eyes intent on me. I knew he was there even though his foot steps were silent. "I'm sorry." I whispered leaning on the sink watching the rain hit the window.

"I'll take you. We'll go together. We'll look for as long as you want. I don't care." I turned around waiting for the punch line but when I met his gaze I knew there was none.

"Okay." I mumbled crossing my arms. But he didn't let me..I was up in the air one second and on his back racing out the back door the next.


	7. Yellow Submarine

_**Team Jacob fans do not stop reading! No reviews in a while, don't give up on this story please! **_

Edward and I spent most of the day running up and down hills and forest lines looking for any trace of Jacob. We found nothing more than a scent of a human wandering deep in the woods. That quickly ended at the edge of the highway. Someone had picked up the human. I was in tears. Edward pulled me off from his back and hugged me to his chest. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Edward whispered into my hair. He let me lay there with him in the grass and cry until I was done.

He ran me back home, I had just enough energy to plop myself on the couch and start my waterworks again. Then I remembered my cell phone. Automatically I stopped crying and reached for my phone that I left on the coffee table. No new calls. Edward was situated next to me keeping at least one hand on me at all times to console me. "I'm calling Billy." It was more like a question though.

"Yes, go ahead." He assured me by putting his arm around me.

"Billy?" I asked when he answered.

"No news Bella. Sam came in an hour a go. He's been out there since dawn; no scent has been picked up." Billy sounded like he was choking back tears.

"I'm sorry Billy. So sorry. Do you want me to tell Charlie about this? Should he issue some sort of alert?" I highly doubted he would agree.

"No, I don't want to get Charlie involved. The boys are more capable of handling this situation."

"Alright I'll be over tomorrow with Emily." I said.

I sat there with my head slumped on my hand. "Edward you don't need to be here. I'm sorry that you did this today. This isn't right." I stood up and walked over to the front door to let him out. He didn't get it. He looked at me blankly. He stood up and walked over to me.

"What?" He put his hand on the door and shut it.

"This is wrong for you to help me with this. You need to leave."

"I don't know what you mean." He said in the most sincere way.

"Yes you do!" I screamed through my teeth.

"You don't want me to help anymore?" He asked still not grasping the fact why I didn't want him here.

"I'm thankful for your help, don't get me wrong about this it's just..." I didn't want to say it. "It's weird...no, uncomfortable for me to have you be the one looking for Jacob, under the circumstances. You shouldn't be the one to do this!" That was the best way to put it, I guess.

"But I'm the most capable." He wouldn't have it.

I stomped away growling.

"Do you want me to leave?" Edward asked in a sweet innocent voice.

"No!" I yelled and gave up stomping towards my room. Edward knew full and well what I was talking about. He knew this was in every way wrong for him to be the main person helping me look for my boyfriend. Edward has invested so much time since his return to make me believe his reasoning for leaving and love for me. But time after time I told him only time would make me believe.

He didn't follow me. I lay on my stomach burying my head into my pillow. What was he doing? I soon found out. There was a smell coming from the kitchen. I got up to check on him. When I went in he had food fixed for me already set out on the table.

"I remembered when I heard your stomach growling when you were upset that you haven't eaten today. You don't have a lot in your fridge so I hope grilled cheese and asparagus are okay for tonight." He turned around with a dish towel in hand cleaning the skillet he used for the grilled cheese.

"Thank you." I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around him and started sniffling, I didn't deserve Edward as a friend.

"Are you crying again?" He tried comforting me, wrapping his own arms around and brushing my arms.

"No. I'll eat." I pulled away and took my seat at the table.

I didn't get the first bite in when my cell phone rang. I jumped up and went to the living room. My heart was beating out my chest expecting it to be Billy or Jacob. But, it was Angela.

"Hi Bella what are you doing right now? Can you come to my dad's vet and help me move all the medications to a new safe my dad bought today? He's at the police station with your dad and Charlie kind of gave me the idea to call you...I mean it's a lot of shit...I mean stuff." Angela sounded like she was in desperate need of help.

"Can Edward come too?" I looked up and he was nodding to give me the okay.

"Oh...Yeah...Sure. Can you guys come like...now?" Angela really sounded desperate.

"Yeah we'll be there in just a bit. No worries." I snapped the phone shut without getting in a goodbye from her. I was too let down to even care.

"So, are you up for an exciting evening of storing animal medications in a safe? Heard it's brand new." I rolled my eyes and went back to the table.

"Why are we doing that?" Edward asked taking a seat across from me.

"Someone stole all of Angela's dad's horse tranquilizers yesterday morning so he's moving them into a new safe."

"Do they know who took them?" Edward became uncharacteristically interested into this mystery.

"No, my dad has been over there from time to time today. Angela's dad is at the station now." I ate the rest of my food and thanked him again for fixing me dinner and we were off to the vet.

When we walked in Edward's nostrils flared and he looked in ever direction. I stood there confused but let him proceed as he followed the scent. "I'm back here!" Angela called. I gave her a quick okay and caught up with Edward who was strolling through the animal examination rooms. "Don't get any ideas, these are peoples' pets!" I hissed.

Edward froze, his shoulders tensed as he spun around and glared at me. For a split second I was absolutely terrified of him. "You are utterly absurd! You know that right? I can easily ignore these minuscule animals. You should be concerned about yourself more than the safety of these cats! I'm tracking a scent. It's the same scent from the woods. The same human scent I picked up and lost at the highway. He's been here." He marched back to the back to Angela. I followed.

We sat there for an hour helping her categorize the most expensive and most drug addict valuable meds into the safe. Edward casually got up and excused himself a few times without Angela getting suspicious. I could tell Angela was busting at the seams to talk about why I was with Edward but the saving grace Edward could be from time to time would interrupt her every time she started to pry. We left and headed back to my house. "I'm going to come back in the morning and check to see if I can find anyone who matches the scent." Edward looked like he was deep in thought and slightly miserable. He was acting very human shifting in his seat as if he was disturbed by something. I thought he was going to ask me something but he didn't. His eyes just tightened, brows scrunched. A minute passed and I guessed he wasn't going to say anything that was on his mind.

"Do you need a cat?" I asked.

"Why would I need a cat?" I shook him out of his deep thought. He seemed irritated by my question.

"Because you'll need a reason to be at the Vet." I pointed out and smiled. I lifted him out of his mood. He laughed.

"That's an idea but I think I can just stake the place out without being noticed." He patted my hand and squeezed it before letting go. It hovered over me for a second as if he was going to grab it again but he placed it a few inches from it on the car seat.

"You could eat some cats tonight and then bring a box full of drained cats in tomorrow and be like 'I don't know why my cats aren't waking up. I think someone tranquilized them. Can you see when my cats will wake up?" I started laughing at my own joke. It was stupid, I know, but I willing to try silly things to get Edward out of his mood.

Edward turned and looked like he was disgusted with my comment; I busted out laughing hysterically seeing his expression. His face lightened and he started laughing a little bit with me.

We got back to my house and I was in a better mood even though in the back of my mind (and heart) I was still worked up over Jacob's absence.

"How do you like it here?" Edward asked as we sat in two rusty old metal chairs that were left on the front porch from the previous renters.

"Well it's only been a little over twenty-four hours but...honestly I feel a little lonely. Of course, Jacob's disappearance is mostly to do with that but I mean I did this partly for Charlie's safety so I'm okay about it. I'll get used to it. I don't want my scent to attract anymore vampires to Charlie's house. I don't want to cast that danger over him anymore than I have to." I shook my head.

Edward sat there for a second before responding, "I wouldn't let anything happen to your family Bella." He hardly whispered sadly.

"Then I moved here for me then! I moved here to get the satisfaction of knowing that maybe I'm protecting Charlie! I can't just sit around and take your word on it and be helpless and pathetic Bella! Not after what happened a few months a go!" I started to get angry with Edward. It's true I had almost been killed multiple times by vampires but there was always him or a werewolf there to protect me at the last minute. I feared my luck was running out and I still couldn't work up the faith in Edward that he wouldn't really leave me again. I huffed and went inside to get my laptop. I came back out and Edward hadn't moved a muscle I plugged it in and brought up my iTunes and hit play on _Copeland's 'Beneath The Medicine Tree' _album. The fireflies were flickering in the dark overcast skies. A perfect somber soundtrack for this day.

The silence continued. I would have to apologize. I know how he feels the sole responsibility to protect me from danger and I know how disgusted he felt with himself of what has happened to me: injured by Laurent, almost getting killed by a newborn vampire, Victoria stalking me and dating a werewolf. "I'm sorry, I'm just always on edge it seems and right now I feel like I'm falling off the ledge."

"I understand." He sighed, not moving. He was still thinking or feeling bad about what I just said. That made me feel awful. I wanted the air to be calmer.

"So, I figured out today that I get free cable. Sixty-five free channels." I tried to amuse him with this nonsense piece of information.

"Did you want to go in and enjoy it?" He offered not breaking out of his sulking.

"No I really don't like television." I responded.

"Yes, I know." He sighed.

"You're making me even more depressed." I jumped out of my chair folding my arms across my chest.

He looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes, "I'm sorry." He sounded like he meant it down to his core and that made it even more pathetic. It made me break inside. "Should I leave?" He asked.

I kneeled in front of him and put my hands on the arm rests of the chair, some rust getting in between my fingernails. "No, I mean if you need to go, if you have some place to be then go, but...I don't want to be alone if I don't have to be. I know what I'm like in these instances. I don't want to be that person again." I felt myself remembering my zombie state I was in when Edward left me; I didn't want to remind him though. "I'm just afraid my worry will over flow in me when I'm by myself and I'll go crazy thinking about where he is." I tried to half smile at him. I stood up and he got up too. He was just inches from my face.

"Don't worry I have nowhere to be, except here." He breathed, walked passed me and jumped off the porch. "Go grab a _Ball_ jar, I bet I could catch more fireflies than you." His crooked smile lit up my eyes.

Edward was good about keeping my mind off of Jacob for a little while. We spent the evening catching the last of the past summer's fireflies and letting them go after we were finished. The night before I could not sleep, I was tired as Hell and he could tell. He did something uncharacteristically when he went into the living room and made himself at home by clicking on the television. I went to the bathroom and changed into my pajamas and came back out to tell him he could leave so I could go to sleep. He looked up at me from the screen and smiled lightly. I took a seat next to him. "I haven't got a good night's sleep a while. I'm tired."

"Alright. Would you like Alice to come tonight?" He asked.

"But I'm going to bed."

"Yes and someone needs to be around here to look after you."

I outwardly cringed from suddenly remembering the vampires who have wanted me dead for far too long. I forgot the aspect that Jacob was the one looking after me at night. Because his protection didn't seem like protection at all when he was in bed with me every night. I shook my head trying not to think of those nights with Edward around. "Yeah, I forgot. Silly that I would have forgotten something so pertinent to my life."

Edward got his cell phone out. "Where are you going tonight?" I spluttered out before he had a chance to dial.

"I was going to go back out to the woods and look some more."

I was taken aback by his answer. "Can you come back here when you are done? I don't want to bother anyone else by babysitting me unconsciencely, that would be boring for Alice and she might dress me in designer jammies while I sleep." I scrunched my face and stuck out my tongue like I just ate something awful.

"I can do that." His smile visibly wider.

We both got up at the same time, "Thank you." I whispered.

He didn't respond but touched my face before he vanished out the front door.

I woke up gasping for air after having an awful nightmare. I was chasing after Jacob in random places, nightmare after nightmare. The last one we were in a book store and I kept running in slow motion calling his name but he never turned around and then he disappeared behind the "_Mystery_" section.

I glanced at the clock it was only 1:00A.M., great more nightmares. My eyes started to close and drift, but I remembered something. "Edward" I whispered, my eyes still closed, half asleep.

"Yes." Edward responded, he was back.

"Come here." I opened my eyes to locate him. He was already at my side.

I smiled weakly. "Can you tell me something?" I felt like a drunk at the moment and could get away with questions I wouldn't ask him when I wasn't a hundred percent coherent.

"Anything." He readily replied.

"Can you tell me one thing you did when you...while you were away?" I tried to ask in a decent manner to not upset him.

He took a deep breath. "Bella." He seemed like he was in awful pain.

"Just one...please." I begged. He never told me what he did when he was away. I had no idea.

He was crouched at the side of my bed, staring at me. It took him a little to respond. I wasn't sure if he was going to. "You don't have to lie. You don't have to think up a story. I can handle it." I said in a sweet voice that gave away my sour undertone quiet well.

"I'm not thinking up a story!" He hissed.

I didn't respond because even after months of Edward repenting and confessing to me... I still had trust issues.

Our eyes didn't break contact. Mine were tired and unconvinced; his were set on making me believe.

Finally, he rolled his eyes "I caught a glimpse of the long-eared jerboa one night."

"What's that?"

"A very rare type of rodent. It's a mix between a mouse and a kangaroo. It can fit in the palm of your hand. There are only a handful of photos and one or two videos of encounters."

"That's ridiculous."

"It's true."

I stuck my hand out from under the covers, "Where's your video?"

He laughed once, "Unfortunately, I forgot a camera."

"Tell me a true story." Uh oh, wrong wording.

"Bella, I am telling the truth." He sounded almost offended.

"You have the capabilities to do almost anything you want and you tell me this. You can swim can't you?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, did you go swimming?"

"Technically it wasn't swimming more like lying under the water."

"Have you ever swum down to the Titanic?" He had to have done something interesting.

"No." He was surprised how this was turning out.

I yawned. "I would if I were like you." I turned over and curled up into the fetal position.

I heard him sigh. "I'll take you sometime."

"Impossible, scuba divers can't go that far. Their ears would pop and bleed and attract the sharks." I smiled to myself.

"I'll get you a submarine." Edward said matter-of-factly.

"A yellow one?"

"If you like." He laughed and then he was on the other side of the bed looking at me.

"I'll follow you in the yellow submarine and you can direct me to the big ol' boat." His arms were folded with his head resting on them I tapped his arm and yawned again.

"Sleep now, we can talk more about your yellow submarine in the morning." He stroked my cheek.

"You can watch TV in the living room if you get bored tonight." I mumbled before I fell asleep.

"I don't think that's possible."

I woke up the next morning with no news. The days following were no different. The boys turned their focus from Victoria to finding Jacob and after a meeting with the Cullens new boundaries were set in place. The Cullens were in sole charge of looking for Victoria and watching over me. No scent was picked up from Jacob and at least one wolf would stay in form in case they pick up on Jacob's thoughts. Nothing was found. A week turned into two weeks and those weeks turned into a month. Billy and I eventually told Charlie that Jacob was missing and now when you turn the corner anywhere in a thirty mile radius you would see Jacob's face plastered on Missing Child Posters (Jacob was only on the verge of eighteen). My commitment to finding Jacob didn't falter after the passing weeks. I couldn't make myself believe that Jacob left on his own free will. I was finishing up a semester of college but that didn't keep me away from searching. Before and after school and work I would roam the forest with one of the wolves or Edward for any sign of Jacob. In the evenings I would sit outside on my porch until nightfall hoping my scent would lead him there, sometimes Edward or Alice would join me on my porch and most of the time we didn't say anything at all. Sometimes I would go to Charlie's and sit outside just in case he went there first. Upstairs in my old bedroom I taped a note to my window telling him, not specifically, where I was if he tried the window. I concealed my grief and sorrow well by consuming my time to finding Jacob. Next week was Sam and Emily's wedding. I wanted, like everyone else, for Jacob to be home. He was supposed to be the best man to Sam, now it looks like Paul will be. I am one of Emily's bridesmaids, and though this should be a joyous time, no one was rejoicing.


	8. Jacob Black POV

_**A Jacob Black Point of View. Four days after he went missing.**_

My thoughts were scattered. Nothing was making sense. I tried to move but I wasn't able to. I was stiff and something was pressing against me making it hard to move any part of my body. I tried moving my fingers, that worked but I noticed something was strapped to my wrists. I tried my legs but my ankles were strapped to the rock and my limbs were suspended by cold metal links. By now my thoughts had gathered and I was attentive. I couldn't see anything and all I could hear was a dripping noise that occurred every two and a half seconds. My prison smelled cold, damp and stale. This was not good.

I felt like I had been asleep for days. Maybe I had been because I don't remember how I got here. I don't remember who had done this to me. The last few memories I had were of Bella getting ready for the day. I remember watching her from my warm bed with the sun streaming in through the windows lighting up her hair like a millions stars were dancing around her strands of her long beaming locks. Bella. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to the last night I remembered. The most important night of my life and now I was here. Oh how I wanted so badly to be back in that moment. I tried to think through logically what had happened to land me here but nothing added up.

Throwing away all of my labels: a protector, a wolf, a being that is supposed to defend my village, my family, brother and my love, in all actuality I was a seventeen year old boy taken away from him family and friends. I'm scared beyond belief.

Panic consumed me. My breath shortened and I tried to free my hands and feet from the chains, my strength let me down when I didn't move an inch. I could feel tears streaming down my face, one of them tickled my cheek and reflexively my hand went to wipe it away, it was cut short by the chain. I was in hell. I started screaming, the only thing I could do. I was happy to know I had a voice and that it wasn't taken away from me too. After a few moments of screaming I heard the creak of a door open and slam shut. Someone scuffled towards me. I shut up and listened and sniffed the air trying to figure out who had done this to me. "Who are you?" I demanded to know. By the time the person got over to me I noticed a few details. They were human and most likely male by their footing pattern and smell. The person didn't answer but grabbed my hand. I screamed and tried to take it away but he didn't let go. I felt his other hand on me then and a sharp cold prick on my wrist. I grabbed his hand again and screamed. I squeezed his hand, trying to break it or cause him some sort of pain. The person yelped confirming he was in fact male. He jammed the needle farther into my wrist and then snatched his hand away ripping the needle of my wrist. I screamed again and then I heard the boy run off and slam the door behind him. I writhered around until my moves became slower and sluggish, my mind started to drift, my screaming came out in mumbles and drools and soon I slipped into another darkness.


	9. Green

I stood up on my knees and peered out my window above my headboard. Another dreary day, the rain was drizzling down the glass, distorting my outside view. I stumbled out of bed and huffed. Another day I couldn't look for Jacob in the woods. Everyone else feels like it is a lost cause to even try calling for him out there but I'm not going to give up. As I walked in a daze out of my room I hit the side of the door and lost my footing and leaned up against the wall for a second to pinch the bridge my of nose thinking that would help my walking. My eyes were squinted shut and I felt a light cold touch on the back of my neck. I spun around and gasped as Edward asked if I was okay.

"Ehh ugghhh!" Nothing comprehend-able came out of my mouth, I was too frightened so it came out in a jumbled mess. I blinked and caught my breath. I looked up at him, his eyes lit up. I took my hand off my chest and wrapped my arm around him, welcoming him. Both of his arms tied around my waist and I threw my left arm around his neck. He held me tight, "Sorry." He started chuckling to himself. "I need to learn to be more human around you. I forget you can't hear me as well as the others."

"I have a handicap now, super." I pulled away from his embrace, deeming the amount of time of the hug as inappropriate. Before I could shake him off I heard him take in a deep breath and saw his eyes close for a moment. Enjoying the bouquet, I think…Great. Then he shook his head.

"You are not handicapped, you are special." He followed me into the kitchen. I took a seat at the table as did he.

"Thanks so much." I put my head down on the table and watched the rain drizzle down on the window. I could tell he was playing with my hair even though I couldn't feel his fingers on my head. "Did you spend the night?" I yawned.

"I got here around two in the morning after a quick scan of the Olympia park. You don't have food here." He observed.

I snapped up and scrunched my nose at him. "Yes I do! Did you rummage around last night looking for a midnight snack?" I winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

"No just an observance through your fridge and cabinets. Did you need to go to the market today? I could go get cereal and milk at least." I let him talk and walked to the fridge and pulled out two containers of humus and mini wheat pita breads and tossed them to the table. Edward was watching me with too much interest. He picked up the bread and humus.

"But you don't have a cat." He was confused.

Now I was too. "I don't do I?" I sat down with a napkin in hand.

"One time Alice had a cat and I swore she fed it something that looked and smelled just like this."

My eyes bugged, "Alice had a cat! What happened to it?" I couldn't believe any vampire would keep a pet.

"You don't want to know. You've been eating this?" He took the lid off of the sun dried tomato and basil humus and sniffed it. "You do!" He slammed it down on the table and covered his nose. I hadn't seen a reaction like that since I walked into Biology the first day of school. I started laughing and took out a pita and dug into the humus and started eating. He watched with disgust.

"This is the only thing I have been eating since Monday. I think I'm on some kind of kick with it. It's unbelievably good! I used to eat it in Arizona they had a better selection. My mom sent me this as a new home present or something."

"Bella it's Thursday." Edward looked almost mad by what I was saying.

"Yeah this is all I've been eating. I have two kinds, you know to switch it up. I don't think I'll ever be pita'd out" I took another pita put a gob of humus on it and popped it in my mouth.

Yep, Edward was definitely mad. "You can't just be eating that everyday! Bella, that doesn't even look remotely appetizing!" Edward scrunched his face and shook his head vehemently at me.

I scoffed, "Oh yeah this coming from a guy who eats deer and mountain lion everyday of his life for the passed eighty years! Besides you don't think any of my food looks appetizing!"

That pissed him off even more. Maybe I shouldn't have gone for the vampire-eating-habits punch line…But the reaction was priceless. His face hardened, his lips were thin and weary and his eyes were driving into me. If these were different circumstances I would be afraid he wanted to kill me. He slowly stood up and stalked away from me. I tried to stifle a laugh. I had my hand clamped over my mouth, tears were forming from trying to not laugh. I grabbed another pita bread and dunked it into the cat puke colored humus and spun around in my seat and chucked it at Edward who had his backed turned to me.

It turned out better than I had imagined. The wheat fluffy bread slid down the back of his powder blue dress shirt leaving a cat vomit colored gunk stain. He spun around and caught the falling bread in his hand. His face was shocked as he stared at me. He looked down at the bread and all too fast he threw it in the sink. I was bent over in hysterics looking up every few moments to see his reaction. Before I knew it, I was lifted from my kitchen chair and in his arms. The breath wooshed out of me and my laughter ended abruptly. I crashed to the couch without touching it…I was in a ball in Edward's lap. His expression angry and we both froze on the couch. His mouth opened slightly and he licked his bottom lip. He put his hand on my side. I started getting nervous, I wasn't wanting this reaction from him. But my fears were turned upside down when he started tickling my sides. I started freaking out. My legs and arms flailed everywhere and I started laughing and not because I wanted to. Tears were in my eyes and I couldn't get out a complete "Stop!" from my mouth. But soon enough he stopped. I started screaming at him and tried to get out of his lap. His head bent down to my face and I froze, and whispered "Stop" as he inched closer to me. I didn't want it! I didn't want it! I would feel like I was cheating on Jacob! My heart felt like it skipped a beat as he was hovering above my cheek?

"Shh!" He demanded. I shut up right then. The tip of his nose traveled from my cheek bone and slowly trailed down to the nape of my neck. I could tell he was taking deep breaths in. The touch of his cold nose trailing its way down on me sent shivers up my spine. He took one last deep breath in at my neck and moved his head away. He sat me upright and his eyes were wide and his nose was crinkled in disgust. The silence was making me crazy. "Bella, you smell like that stuff you have been eating! Your pores are seeping out tomato and basil humus!" He said darkly before taking another whiff of my forehead. He acted like he just told me my mother died. "You smell awful!" I gasped, my hand covering my mouth. I looked at him with shocked and furious eyes. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say this to me. He slowly leaned his head away from me without breaking contact. "Eww." And his hands dropped from me.

It took me about three seconds for me to react. How dare he tell me I smelled bad? And his reaction made me even more furious! I was supposed to smell like lavender and frescia to him! I was supposed drive this boy insane with lust and hunger with my smell! How could he say I smell bad? I jumped out of his lap and stood there with my mouth gaping open. "I do not!" I screamed and sniffed my armpit. I didn't smell anything different.

Edward sat there looking at me. He was trying to keep a straight face. "Honey, it's like your breath after you eat something...your breath sometimes smells like it. Well, since you ate so much of that humus _and _so often your entire body smells like it! I'm sorry, you just smell so bad!" He was being sincere up until the last sentence.

This was not fair fighting! "You are so mean! You, you're, you're a _dick_ Edward!" I screamed and sniffed my t-shirt, still smelled nothing. Now his mouth was hanging open. I looked down at my coffee table and chucked a candle at him. I knew he would catch it but it was good theatrics. I've never said a dirty word directed towards him before. I ran off to the bathroom and locked myself in it. Not a second later I heard a light knock at my door.

"What are you doing?" He was concerned.

I turned the shower on. "Slitting my wrists with a razor! What you up to?" I locked the door and smiled to myself. His hand tried the knob and he started pounding a little too hard, I heard some of the cheap wood in the door split.

"Isabella!" He screamed. So over-dramatic.

"What?" I pouted against the door.

"Don't joke about taking yourself away from me." He said calmly. I sighed and unlocked the door and opened it holding two types of soap. "Lavender or coconut French vanilla latte?"

"Lavender of course. But I don't think that will help much darling." He touched my cheek. I cringed away from it and glared at him. "Maybe it will, try it." He dropped his hand, retracted his earlier words and shut the door for me.

After I scrubbed myself down in the shower I dressed, got out and walked straight towards Edward who was standing too still in the kitchen, he changed his shirt. "Smell me now!" I demanded stepping directly in front of him.

He laughed and leaned down to my neck and took in a big whiff, "Better." He smiled and stood up straight, trying to get a hold of himself.

"I am going to try on my bridesmaid's dress today. The wedding is in a few days. It's the final fitting." I tried to smile about it but I was more torn up about the ceremony. I just wanted Jacob back! I couldn't possibly enjoy the wedding without him! I'll be crying through the whole thing seeing Paul as the best man instead of Jacob. My Jacob. Gone Jacob. Vanished Jacob. The Jacob who I lost my virginity to Jacob.

"You're going to look so beautiful." He whispered staring out the window.

"You don't know that." I said assuredly.

"Oh, you don't think so do you? I guess Alice got it wrong then." He sighed and grinned at me.

"I forgot Alice was doing my hair." I snapped my finger. I promised her I would spend the night before the wedding so she could work on my hair…or play dress up Barbie with me before the wedding.

I drove over to Emily's that afternoon and tried on the olive green dress. Luckily, it fit perfect and no minor adjustments needed to be made. I drove back to my house and payed my first electric bill after I dropped it in the mail I checked my calendar for what days I should expect my water and trash bill. That's when I noticed the little black dot I had down on September 14h. I looked for the little black dot in October and found none. Must be a mistake, I looked again...Nope, no dot. I opened the fridge, shut it and leaned up against it. My fridge was now loaded with any kind of food you could think of practically, thanks to Edward. I sighed and tried to think back of when I had my period this month...I realized I hadn't had a period this month. Oh....Shit.


	10. Knot Baby

I paced the living room running my fingers through my hair. This isn't happening! This is not happening! I started to panic and my breath shortened I curled up in a ball on the floor and started crying. Great, frequent outbursts of emotion, not a good sign of wishing you weren't sperminated. All the girls on movies cry and yell and go crazy when they are pregnant...Which is what I did today to Edward! I called him a dick! That is uncharacteristically me! I don't just walk around and spit out dirty words towards people!

I'm no expert of pregnancy so I thought back to the movie Nine Months. I watched that movie with my mom a hundred times when I was little. Was I acting like that? Yes!...Well...Maybe...I don't know. Oh no no no no! I gritted my teeth and then rolled over on my back and lifted up my shirt and poked my stomach, I wasn't feeling anything so I poked harder and that's when I felt it. It felt like a hard knot in my stomach. Maybe it was a bone? I don't think I have a bone right there. I need to Google a skeleton! Shit, I don't have Internet! I can't go to Charlie's, he might know I'm knocked up. How would he know? I don't know, parents just know that kind of stuff. I stood up and kept my hand over knot baby in my stomach and rushed to my bedroom and got out one of those light up mirrors from my closet that you can plug in and sit down and do your make-up. Another gift from mom. I took off my clothes in front of my full length mirror and studied my stomach. I didn't look different. Maybe I did, I don't remember having that pudge there last month...The last time I checked myself out in the mirror in the nude was when I was getting ready to go over to Jacob's... I definitely looked bigger didn't I? I turned to the side and poked my tummy again, knot baby was still there like he was thirty seconds a go. I lay down on my bed and placed the lighted stand up mirror between my legs and spread them. I tried to peer into my vagina, what was I looking for? Could I see the baby if I got something to pry myself open with? What if I got two spoons? I grabbed a tissue and wiped my hands off and yanked the mirror cord from the wall and threw the mirror off my bed. That was stupid, of course not! Maybe I could see a change like doctors do in movies when they go into the gynecologist. Or maybe I should just let a gynecologist do that part. I re-dressed and started crying again. I flung myself on my bed and got under the covers and thought about the consequences of my actions. I'm too young for this. My boyfriend is gone. It was my first time! Can anyone get pregnant on their first time? I wasn't sure we even did it right! I curled up into the fetal position and cried out loud when I thought of earlier today. Emily said that two weeks ago she thought they would have to cut an inch or two off the dress for me but today she said it was almost a little tight! I threw the cover over my head and tried my best to fall asleep.

I woke up to the rain pinging against the window again. I looked at my clock, eight in the evening. I pulled the covers off of me and sighed. I wanted to wake up from a nightmare but it looks like I was waking up to a nightmare. I stifled a tear and got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself for several minutes in the mirror, trying to imagine myself eighteen and pregnant. Bella's swan, The Lifetime original movie of a teenage girl who gets pregnant by a werewolf that vanishes and trying to keep it a secret from her former vampire flame. Starring Vanessa Hudgens as Bella. I washed my hands and headed for the kitchen. Vanessa Hudgens could not play me! I looked in the fridge and was shocked by all the food. Forgetting about Edward's grocery shopping. There was a note by the milk,

_I tried to get your favorites._

I smiled a little then snapped back to reality. My stomach growled as I rummaged through the perfectly stocked shelves, "Shut up knot baby!" Did I just talk to my stomach? I stood back with the fridge door open. I wasn't in the mood for any of the food provided! All I wanted was that hummus and pita bread...At that moment I swore I could feel my face lose all of its color. I shut the door and sat at the kitchen table. Was that why I ate so much hummus and pita bread? Is that why I smell so bad? That's all I craved and I had to admit it was pretty weird to crave hummus of all things and wheat pita bread. My head fell in my hands and I started sobbing. I sat there in the dark, the rain adding the dramatic background soundtrack for my dilemma.

A few minutes later after thinking through what my next step would be, one thing I had to do first was call Alice. She had to know by now what I was going through. She had to see this coming, right? I flipped open my phone and saw I had two missed calls from Edward. One was just a few minutes a go. I really hope he wasn't around Alice this evening. I didn't bother calling him back. I went straight for Alice's and dialed. She answered on the first ring.

"Hey." She sounded nervous and quiet.

"Don't think! Is he around?" I mumbled into the phone.

"His room." She responded quickly.

"Where are you?" I mumbled again.

"Mine." She whispered.

"Get out."I gritted through my teeth.

"Go where?" Like she couldn't easily find a place.

"Not here, no real life images. Somewhere far, call me back."

"I'll try my best knot baby!" She whispered into the phone and then it went dead. I yelled at her with my phone closed.

Sixty seconds later Edward's name flashed onto my screen, forgot it was on silent. I couldn't ignore it. I just had to hope that Alice tried her best and got away without him knowing anything.

I flipped my phone open and closed my eyes tightly, "Hi." I squeaked.

The four seconds of silence almost broke me. "Hi." He said sternly. Another short bout of silence.

My mouth was hanging open, It was impossible for me to speak. I had to say something, he would know something bad was up. Act normal, act normal! I cleared my throat, "Sorry I had my phone on silent. I fell asleep."

More silence, I wasn't going to say anything more before spilling my guts out to him.

"Why is Alice singing the Fraggle Rock theme song over and over again in her head?" Great.

"Me and Alice have something planned this evening." I tried to be innocent.

"What did Alice see?" He didn't give me a chance.

"She didn't tell me." Which was the truth.

"She is going to tell you in about five minutes I bet. Your voice is about three octaves higher than usual. Something is wrong." Damn, he was good!

I took a breath before I answered him, "Edward, I'm having a girl issue right now and I just want Alice to know. I'm not in trouble nor hurt or in need of any other assistance. I just thought Alice could give me some insight on this topic. Thank you for all the groceries. I'll call you in a few days."

I was debating on waiting for an answer or just hang up. I waited. "A few days?" He was justified in asking, I hadn't gone a day without seeing him in the past two weeks.

"Finals are coming up, I haven't been studying." I sounded hopeless. I just wanted him off the phone.

"Call me if you need help studying." He was the one that hung up first! That pissed me off.

Alice called right after. "Are you gone?" I asked.

"Yep, safe and secure in my car, on the road, no sign of nosy brother. This is real isn't it Bella?" She got serious in a second.

"That's why I called you! Do you know if this is for real happening? Am I going to have a wolf baby?" I cried into the phone.

"I don't know Bella, I can't see that far. You keep changing your mind, new ideas are popping into your head every other second that changes what I see and I don't see far. But I do see one consistent thing, you're at the gynecologist."

"Shit, I must be pregnant if I'm there!" I shrieked.

"Don't worry that much now. I'm afraid to be the one to get you the pregnancy test. I don't want to have to think about it later and have a vivid mental image for Edward. Speaking of him, he knows something is wrong. He's been pacing back and forth outside my room all evening. He broke the painting hanging on the wall outside my room you know."

"Oh no! It's worse than what I thought. I just got off the phone with him. He told me about Fraggle Rock. I told him it was nothing to be concerned about, that I was just having a girl issue and asked for your help."

"That might hold us up tonight. I'll try my best to stay away from him the next few days until we get this figured out okay?"

I sighed with relief, "Alice...Are you mad at me for having sex with Jacob?"

She didn't hesitate to answer, "No, Bella. Of course not. I mean he's not my first choice, obviously, but sex is bound to happen eventually between two teenage attractive human beings. Nature took its course that night."

"Okay, good. But, you're not upset that I didn't lose my virginity to your brother?" I asked being coy about the subject.

"Bella I have visions of you two getting it on all the time! It's in the big picture, it's written in the stars somewhere. Those Midwest Christian norms and ethics don't apply to me or any other vampire really besides Edward, and I really just think he has a problem. I don't know how he does it." She laughed.

"What do you mean I will have sex with Edward?" I screamed into the phone. That was news to me. I mean sure I have thought about it countless times but I was almost positive that fantasy would never come to life.

"I mean I have seen that path many times ever since you two started dating and nothing came of it. Don't worry...If you're worrying."

I was still stunned by this revelation.

"I need to go, I smell a spy." She said. Edward was hot on her tail.

"Please don't let it slip!" I begged.

"I'll try my best, young one."

The next morning I got ready for school and threw some extra cash in my bag for the big purchase after classes. I wasn't throwing up in the morning, that was a good sign.

I couldn't keep up with Angela, Mike and Jessica at school today. My mind was in another dimension with diapers floating around my head and pacifiers shooting across the sky. And Edward thought he was living in damnation.

After school I made sure no one was watching as I drove to the neighboring town and made my secret purchase of a home pregnancy test. I rushed home and sat on the couch staring at the box. Should I do this now? Should I wait a few days since it only seemed like yesterday that I actually had sex. Should I wait for Jacob to come back so he could be here when I take it? Was Jacob coming back? My mind wandered off to my Jacob's disappearance._ I just want him back. _I kept thinking. I got an idea. It wasn't raining and it was partly sunny out today. I went outside and breathed in the chilled air. I went inside and got my jacket, jumped in my truck and headed to La Push. I didn't go to Billy's, Emily's or the beach but a part of the woods that was a favorite walking trail of Jacob and I's. I stopped about ten minutes into the walk and sat on a tree stump. I teared up just looking around me. A few minutes went by as I stared at the scenery. I could see me and Jacob walking up the trail, his hand in mine and the play wrestling with him and looking up into his eyes as he got the twigs out from my hair. I turned my head and found a distorted tree we used to maneuver ourselves just right on so we could have the perfect make out position. I laughed at that. I floated back to reality and took a hard look at my surroundings with new eyes. "Jacob." I called out. "Jacob." Like he would come running out of the woods to me. "Jacob, I want you to come home. I don't know what has happened and I'm honestly completely lost right now without you. Because...Well...Jacob, I want this message to get to you somehow that's why I'm talking to the trees I guess." I sighed, closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists and began to cry. "I think I'm pregnant Jake! I think this is real! I need you so much right now!" I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around myself like all my insides would fall apart if I didn't hold on tightly to them. I moaned and cried so hard I couldn't breathe. "I need you so much! Please don't leave me Jake! I can't do this on my own! I don't think I can do it Jake, I'm sorry! Just please come back! I need you!" I screamed the last few words up into the sky, my words echoed off the trees and cliffs.


	11. Jacob Black POV pt 2

Jacob Black POV

I was running full speed through the familiar trails Bella and I would walk when it was warm out. I was making short cuts and ripping trees out of my way to reach my destination. I was howling into the air, the sound piercing my own ears. No matter how fast I was running it was taking too long to reach my destination, Bella. I heard her crying in the distance, I tried to call to her but my voice was muted when I tried. Her crying became louder, I was getting closer to her. But as I did I could hear another cry, it was very faint and muffled. I didn't recognize it. Bella was screaming out in pain now. She was crying out my name and every time she did all my surroundings slowed down and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep up. I couldn't get to her fast enough! I was screaming but nothing was coming out. It felt like years before I entered the small clearing and morphed back to my own self. I was standing in the middle as everything spun around me. I couldn't see Bella but I could hear her. I dug through piles upon piles of leafs colored bright red, yellow, gold and brown. The sound of them crackling and crunching under my fingers distorted Bella's crying. Finally, I spotted her a few feet from me, her body had leafs covering the bottom half of her. My life was in slow motion as I reached her. She was listless, her brown eyes were closed. "Bella!" I cried as I cupped the back of her head and brought her face up to me. Her hand slowly reached up to touch my face. I grabbed it and brought it to my lips to kiss. As I pulled it away I noticed the blood dripping off of her finger tips. I looked back at her face, her eyes were slightly open, "It's too late. I'm sorry, I tried. I love you, so does Anabelle." Bella hardly whispered. Her battered and bloody fingers brushed my lower lip, she smiled weakly. I didn't understand what she was talking about. "I talked to her about you every day. She knows how to fix an engine in a Rabbit. Owww!" She cried out quietly in pain. She was too weak now, her mouth opened a little before her eyes rolled back into her head. She tried to grab at my hand but it was too late. Her arm fell to her side and she let out her last breath. I cried out, I tried to shake her awake. I started to clear off the leafs that had fallen on her. Blood was on them covering her. I dug and dug to get the leafs off of her and more and more blood appeared. I screamed Bella's name over and over again. The leafs were gone now and Bella's stomach was swollen. It was like someone put a kickball under her shirt. She wasn't wearing any underwear or jeans. She was coated in blood and the ground surrounding her bottom half was too."Anabelle!"I cried out and reached for her swollen belly. I pulled her shirt above her stomach and put my ear to her. I stopped breathing so I could listen for a heartbeat. Nothing, no movement, no sounds, no motion came from inside Bella. I pressed my lips to my Bella's stomach and whispered "I love you Anabelle, I'm sorry I was too late", I kissed my baby, the baby I would never meet, and laid down next to my Bella. I stroked her hair and rubbed her stomach, "C'mon Bella, it's time to deliver our baby. Anabelle's ready to be born!" I cried to her.

I woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. My throat felt like it was bleeding from how hard I was screaming. I pulled my arms but they didn't come loose from the chains. I was in a dimly lit dirt floor cell now. My hands were chained to the metal bench I was confined to. My ankles were chained to the same spot. I cried out again and again. My ankles and wrists were unbelievably sore from trying to get free. My heart was beating out of my chest from my nightmare. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes. "I need to go home! Let me out! Bella! Bella!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face, "Something is wrong!" I said over and over until it was only a whisper. "Bella, I need you!" I cried out. A man about my age appeared at my cell with a needle in hand. I tried to scoot away from him but it was too late, he pricked me with the needle and pushed the fluids into my bloodstream. "Please let me go! Something is wrong with Bella." My eyes started to droop but I could still see the man standing in front of me. I tried to speak again and drool poured out of my mouth when I opened it, "I think I'm a dad and I think my girlfriend's dead." I mumbled before my head hit the concrete wall.


	12. Directions

I read the directions to the test about fifteen times now. I had them memorized, if the company called me today asking me to be their commercial spokesperson, I could do it. I knew the reason why I hadn't taken the test. I was too scared.

There was a knock at the door. I went to the bathroom first and put the unopened box in the cabinet under a towel. I huffed, ran my fingers through my hair and answered the door. Of course it was Edward. I hadn't picked up his calls today. The only person I didn't want to see today. "Sorry!" I flung my hands in the air, leaving the door open for him; I plopped down on the couch and ran another hand through my hair. The door slammed behind him that made me jump, instantly he was sitting at my side massaging the back of my neck with his fingers. I instantly felt relief.

"Bella?" Edward sounded like he was in pain.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and gritted my teeth to refrain from tearing up.

Edward inched closer to me, "Bella, tell me what's wrong." I could feel his breath on my cheek.

I shook my head a little, I knew if I spoke now I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears.

"Please? You can tell me." He whispered in my ear.

_Oh, okay. I might be pregnant. I know you wanted to hear that! I'm impregnated by a werewolf that has gone missing. That's all. Oh yeah, that's right I lost my virginity. I forgot you probably didn't know that part._

"No, I can't!" I screamed.

He put his arms around me and shushed me. His lips pressed to the top of my head. "Tell me when you're ready."

I stood up and as soon as I did he was up too, with his arms still around me. I looked up into his eyes; he seemed more distraught than I was. I leaned against him and put my hands on his chest. I inhaled his scent, I'd been absent from such contact for too long. "Just...can you just...hold me...you know...like you used to." I mumbled against his chest. I could feel wetness on his shirt. I thought I had been doing a good job holding back the tears.

His arms constricted more tightly around me, the lips kept at the same spot on my head, he hoisted me up and gathered me in his arms and dashed me to the bedroom. I had to catch my breath but before I did we were on my bed. I was in his arms, his cool fingers soothed my warm soft cheek. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn't help it! I needed the comfort of an embrace. I had been absent from one in too long. I threw myself around him and heaved a cry into his neck. I felt if I started speaking, I wouldn't stop and I would talk into oblivion, scaring him away. So I squeezed him tighter to me. I knew it wouldn't be much of an embrace to him but he got the idea of what I wanted and his embrace tightened. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, rather I kept silent and let him hold me.

I woke up in the same position on my bed. It felt like I was asleep for days but I glanced at my clock, it only read one in the morning. I felt cold lips and nose nuzzling the back of my neck and shoulders. I didn't say anything. I wanted to lay still and think. I needed to get this over with and I needed to get it over with now. I ignored Edward's comforts. It took me a second to get out of the covers, I jumped out of bed and a hand grabbed my wrist. "Bella, come back to bed." That stopped me short. What did Edward just say? I turned around and looked at him, his eyes pleading. Where was his shirt? I oogled at his bare chest.

I pointed with my thumb, "Bathroom." I tried to mutter.

He let go of my hand, "Yes, of course." He smiled.

I closed the door as quiet as I could and ran the water to drown out Edward's super _vampire _hearing. I ripped open the box and took the stick out and pulled down my pants. With Edward in the next room, Oh God! I really did have to go. I drenched the test in urine and took it out from under me to see if I aimed good. I did and it already looked pink. I panicked; I didn't know I picked up an insta-test! I set the test on the sink counter and re-read the directions. It was supposed to take at least twenty minutes before any results would reveal themselves. Maybe I was so pregnant that I didn't need those twenty minutes. Oh shit! Before I started having a panic attack I needed to pull up my pants. I wiped and just happened to look down. The toilet tissue was pink too...The tissue was pink too? The tissue was pink! Period! Score! I jumped up and screamed "Yes!" with my jeans around my ankles. I took the test and scored a basket into the toilet. I pulled up my pants and flushed. I froze, _please don't overflow the toilet! _I washed my hands and threw the box back in the cabinet. Destroy incriminating evidence after Edward leaves. I stared into the mirror and smiled. Everything I put myself through the past few days just lifted up and flew off my shoulders. I smiled bright in the mirror. Yes, I could feel the cramps coming and the mega zit forming on my forehead but that could be pushed aside for now. I took a big heave of relief and dug through my cabinet looking for Tylenol and body spray. Tylenol for my cramps and the spray for Edward's sake of heightened sense of smell. I had the conversation with him before about period blood and the difference it was from the real deal. I found out that _aunt Flo_ was not too appetizing to any vampire, veggie or not. My jeans were feeling tight so I changed out of them into my sleep shorts and sprayed myself.

There was a knock at the door, "Bella, are you alright?" I could hardly hear him from the running water. I cut it and looked at the door. "Yeah, just fine!" I opened the door and his face was closer than I had imagined, just a few inches from mine. I sighed a happy sigh and hugged him.

"Are you wanting to go back to bed?" He asked, his arms still around me, his lips at my ear.

"Yeah, might as well...Thank you." I whispered the last part.

"For what? I will never know." He laughed in my ear. I laughed too.

"Doesn't matter now." I whispered back in his ear and tried my best to lead him back to bed. I lay back down and pulled the covers over me and snuggled into my usual sleep spot. I was surprised to feel cold arms pull me in and cool lips at my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block out this moment, I led him on tonight, did I mean too?

The sun peaked through the window, warmed my face and woke me up. I needed to use the bathroom immediately. After taking care of business I checked myself in the mirror. I needed more Tylenol; I didn't feel well at all. I popped two more in and washed my face and brushed my teeth. Today would be a day of lounging on the couch for sure. I put my hair up and walked out of the bathroom holding my side, groaning in pain. While I was in my room I remembered Edward spent the night…I thought. I walked out into the hall looking for him. I found him staring out the living room window; he was still as a statue. It immediately alarmed me by his posture. I froze, "Edward?"

Slowly he turned to me, his face tortured and broken, if he was human he should have been crying right now. It took me a second to realize what was in his hand. The pregnancy test box.

"Bella!" He whispered in a strangled voice.

I broke after he said my name. He knew! He knows I'm not a virgin! He knows I had sex with Jacob! My whole world spun. _Him_ knowing this bothered me to no end. Edward, this perfect God who has been waiting over a hundred years to give himself to someone, that someone was supposed to be me! That will never happen now and he knew it. I keeled over but he caught me before I hit the floor. I was crying so hard, I couldn't hear or see him through my blurry eyes. I could feel that I was now on my bed. Edward had carried me there. He was wiping away my tears from my eyes, "Bella, my sweet Bella!" He soothed into my ear. Hearing his hurt voice made it worse for me. I cried out like I was in pain. I didn't want him here! I didn't want him consoling me! I've never in my life ever wished Edward gone but I wish he was right now. I couldn't take this burden on my soul. "Bella, sweetheart!" Edward didn't let up. His lips were at my forehead, cheek, trailing down to my neck. "Bella." He kept whispering in that same hurt tone. His fingers trailed down my stomach. _What was he doing?_ My tears were relentless and I could hear him breaking as my crying grew louder. "Bella! My love, my angel!" He cried out and his fingers lifted up my t-shirt. _What the Hell? _His fingers soothed my protruding stomach, which wasn't _that_ protruded, more bloated than anything. "Baby." It seemed like he was falling into some sort of trance as he traced lightly with his finger tips up, down and circling my stomach from the band of my shorts to the top edge of my shirt. I muffed my crying a little to try to understand what he was doing. I didn't. "Sweet Bella." He murmured against my stomach. I noticed the vibrations of his voice and the touch of his fingertips against my skin was starting to drive me crazy. I twitched my legs trying to shake the pleasure, but I couldn't. "Sweet baby." He murmured again against my skin. That's when it clicked but I couldn't think at all once I felt his tongue trace where his fingertips were. My eyes rolled back and I grunted in the pleasure. I could feel myself getting wet. He thought I was pregnant and he was not acting in any way shape or form human right now. I slid my hand through his disheveld hair and looked down. "My love." He whispered as he kissed up and down my stomach, licking me in some spots. _Oh God!_ I grabbed his hair down to the scalp and slowly started pushing him downward. My other hand slid down to my shorts and I tried inconspicuously pulling them down, little by little. Edward wasn't fazed by my actions he kept murmuring my name and the corresponding 'baby' with it and kissed downward as I was directing him to. I looked up for a moment to catch my breath; he licked at the right spot at that time. I made a little thrust and whipped my head to the right letting out a little moan. I opened my eyes to a photo of Jacob and I that was framed on my bedside table. That snapped me back to reality. Jacob, period, Jacob, period. I had to keep reminding myself. I took my hand out of my shorts and out of Edward's hair. He didn't notice that reaction, he kept lapping and kissing around my torso and around my navel. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Edward?" I whispered, my eyes bugged. After a moment he stopped and looked up at me. Once I got his attention, "What are you doing?" I sniffled.

He snaked up to where his face was hovering over me. With the utmost sincerity in his eyes and voice he said, "I love you Bella. I want to take care of you." He kissed me right above my lips. I had to catch my breath again before I told him.

"Edward, I'm not pregnant." I tried to scoot away from his closeness, afraid of what his reaction would be.

It took him a moment. His face went from worry to confusion, he shook his head. "What?"

I scooted a few more inches away, "I thought I was but I'm not. I'm sorry you had to find out about this. What were you doing with the box anyway?"

It took him a moment. "I had to know what was troubling you so deeply. When you fell asleep the second time I found the box with no test. I was just sure you had taken it. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find it. I just knew that it had to have been positive because you were so upset…" He shook his head.

"I didn't have to even take it. I know I'm not pregnant…and you should have known that too." I looked at him trying to convey the hidden meaning.

"How would I have known?"

"Can't you smell _IT_?" I gritted through my teeth. I wanted to get off this topic. He thought for a second and even though you could hardly notice, he was sniffing the air around him.

"Now I do…I guess I was too distracted to notice _that_." He sighed, "I had to physically stop myself from waking you up multiple times last night to talk to you about this. I drove myself insane for five hours just thinking about it." A tear escaped and he wiped it up immediately, "Why are you crying now?" He asked laying beside me now.

I sighed too. I couldn't look him in the eye and say this, "I didn't want you to know_ that_ about me and Jacob. You know?" I said quietly, looking like a child getting ready for a scolding.

"Know what, love?" He wiped another tear from my cheek. His nurturing was making me morose.

"I didn't want you to know that I wasn't a virgin anymore." I speedily mumbled out. I hid my face from him.

He lay there silently for a moment and then dug my face out from my pillow to look up at him. His cold hand was holding my face now, "Bella, I already knew. Don't be upset by it."

That caught me short. "How? When?!" I demanded to know.

He sighed and looked me in the eye, "It doesn't matter, Bella." Hmm, he didn't want to say.

"Yes it does! Alice?!" I hissed.

He shook his head, "No. I picked it up from Angela, when we were helping her with her inventory job." He spat out. I never thought about that! He read Angela's mind after I had told her about my night with Jacob. She could have easily replayed everything I told her in her mind for Edward, and that was a lot and detailed! My mouth was hanging slightly open astonished. "She has quite an imagination." He mumbled with no sign of a smile. I hit his shoulder and hid my face in my pillow again still speechless. This explains why he was leaving so often while we helped Angela he had to clear his head. It explains his horrible mood that day too. I felt like I could heave all my insides out. I just dug my face deeper into the pillow and smashed my hands against my ears, trying to escape this moment.

Edward did the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do in the moment. He put his arm around me and enveloped me. I knew if I tried to say one word I would break down again. He was mum for a few minutes while he ran his fingers through my hair. I twitched a bit when I heard his voice at my ear, "Bella, you know I would have done the same if I was able to." He whispered.

I removed face from pillow and looked up at him, "What do you mean '_able to'_?" Was he not able to get it up? Alice said she has seen the future of our sexual relationship, although I negated to ask her when the last time she saw us was.

He smiled lightly and put his head almost against mine, "You know why, how many times have I had to stop before we got any further? Bella, I would hurt you if we did _anything_."

I sat up, "Alice said she has seen us make love many times and said nothing about me getting hurt…like _that_."

Edward's eyes bulged, that took him aback. He cleared his throat, as if he needed to, before he spoke. "Alice's visions can change." He stated coldly.

I glared at him, "When someone changes their mind and that someone was never me!" I was mad now. Yes, Alice's visions could change, I knew how well they did when I escaped from her and Jasper's hold in Phoenix but I never thought about abstaining from Edward. It meant to me that Edward was changing his mind about me, about our relationship, how he felt for me and that's why he left me. I felt the tears coming from my throat. I got out of bed and walked away rejected to the bathroom for privacy. He wouldn't let me, when I went to shut the door a hand was in the way, he stepped in the room with me and then slammed the door so hard I heard another crack in the wood.

He flailed his arms, looked at me and pointed at the door. "See!" He tried to make a point about his strength. He was still infuriated.

"No, no! You changed your mind! That's how it works Edward! Someone changes their mind, the vision takes another direction I know that much! Who changed their mind then? I didn't but I know someone who had the decency to take me out into the woods and leave me there, alone! That someone who moved his entire family away from their home! Someone who obviously thought through their actions before leaving _me_, a small, minuscule, meaningless and worthless human! That takes a lot of thought and consideration, doesn't it?! This makes complete sense now. You weren't lying when you left me, your feelings _did_ change. They changed, Alice's visions changed and you left!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face.

He took a step back from me and caught himself against the wall his fury crumbled into pain. His head pressed against the wall, his fingers brushed the crème colored panel. He was looking down, concentrating hard on something. Finally he spoke, "This is a lost cause, isn't it?"

"What is?" I screamed back, still angry with my revelation.

He was suddenly in my face, "I hurt you too much! What I did is irreversible! Bella, I lied to you that day in the woods and I left you alone to face _my _demons! As I say this out loud I know how true it is! I left you and I left you in danger." He shook his head, "That's what matters doesn't it? The reason behind my departure doesn't even matter. I can tell you over and over for eternity that I wanted you safe but the damage is done." He came to this realization.

As I stood and watched him come to his realization it made me take back my earlier words. "Edward, it's just almost impossible for me to come up with a reason for you to even want me at all. Our differences are just overwhelming!" I shook my head.

"That's insane; you're everything I have ever wanted for eternity. You have to believe I love you! I loved you before I left, I loved you while I was gone and I love you now! I know you don't want to hear the _now_ but I want it engrained inside you that I'm telling the truth!"

"I was starting to until I came to my own revelation in bed about Alice's visions. My decisions never changed even if I never spoke them to you but you knew them if you were around Alice. But it never happened! We never had the chance to follow through with what was to come. Why?"

"Because I would stop myself before we even got to the point where it was a possibility!"

"When you would break away from my kisses that meant another opportunity of making love to you was lost?" I came to a new realization as I stepped closer to him.

He swallowed hard and looked away. "That's a way of putting it I guess. But Bella making love just isn't possible between us! I could hurt you. If I lost control for one second with you I could snap you in half!" He tried to explain.

I've heard this before; I decided to have fun with it this time. I lifted an eyebrow and brushed my knuckles lightly against his neck, "Oh yeah?" I whispered seductively to him in his ear.

He didn't move for a moment and then instantly I was pinned against the wall. "In half!" He reiterated huskily. I could feel his breath against my lips when he spoke.

"Hmm." I put my hand on his side and traced my fingers up and down. Now, I didn't care if I was leading him on, this was too much fun and I knew from the bottom of my heart he wouldn't hurt me. He just couldn't. His breath was deep and he kept swallowing hard. His hands were pinned to the wall on both sides of me. I kept my eyes on his wide eyes; his fingers were jittering back and forth. "What?" I asked in the sweetest voice.

"I could kill you." He hissed. His voice was harsh but his eyes told a whole different story.

I leaned into him, "You wouldn't hurt me." I whispered in his ear.

My bobby pins appeared in his hand. One second they were fine the next they were in a ball so tight you couldn't tell what they used to be. "A second is all it could take Bella!" He hissed again throwing the ball in the trash.

I grabbed his side and squeezed, "I know someone who can do that too and it didn't stop him from doing what he wanted with the person he loved." I hissed back. His mouth fell open a little and his eyes bugged. I dropped my hand from his side and ducked underneath his arm and went to the kitchen to start lunch.

I didn't feel bad for what I had said to him. It was the truth. Jacob was almost just as indestructible as Edward and he didn't break any of my bones during sex. Sure, I was sore in certain spots and he grabbed me a little too tight at times and nibbled on my breast a little hard but I came out of it more than fine.

I was bent over looking in my stocked fridge (thanks to Edward) looking for celery to go along with my peanut butter.

I shut the door and turned around and he was in my face looking at me with a strange intense expression. I jumped and then slammed the vegetable on the counter. "What?!" I was tired of his surprises. He didn't respond. I picked up the celery and sat down at the kitchen table so I could spread the peanut butter on them. He sat down across from me, his face rested on the palm of his hand. "Alright be creepy then. That's a great way to attract the ladies." I said sarcastically.

"There's only one I want to attract." His face was serious.

"Oh, well you had your chance, over and over and over…" He huffed. "Just saying." I shrugged my shoulders.

He got up and walked into the living room. I let him. I was headed in that direction after I was done basting my celery. I picked up my plate and headed in there a few minutes later. He was sitting on the couch and looked like a vampire would if he was trying to be human. Cute. There was something white, thin and shiny on the coffee table. I set down my plate and picked up the shiny electronic device. "What is this?" I sat down next to him.

He leaned in to me, "A Kindle. It's for our trip next weekend." His crooked smile lit up my own face.

"Where are we going?" I asked wearily.

"South is all I can tell you right now. We're going to look for Jacob." He explained and handed me the power cord.


	13. Wedding Day

I flexed my face as hairspray dried around my forehead and eyebrows. Emily's maid-of-honor, Keely was putting the finishing touches on my hair in Emily's parents living room. I tried to ignore the angry eyes burning a hole through me in the back of the room. Leah Clearwater. Emily's cousin who was with Sam before his transformation into werewolf. I could understand why Emily didn't choose Leah as her maid-of-honor and I had a feeling that Leah probably wouldn't accept the invitation. I have only had a handful of conversations with Leah and all of them weren't the most pleasant. Truthfully I try my best to stay away from her the best that I can.

"Isabella, you're beautiful." Keely told me as she studied my features in the mirror. She even did my makeup. She crossed her arms and squint her eyes to study me more. I was feeling uncomfortable. "You look like you are straight out of the 1950's." She smiled.

I thought about that for a moment as I looked at myself, I didn't prefer all the makeup and the tight curls that were my hair now. "Thanks, I guess I kind of do look like someone from the 50's." I smiled too, out of politeness. Keely was sweet but she didn't know me and I didn't know her well either but I could tell she knew about my situation with Jacob. She seemed…careful with her words and actions around me.

She clapped her hands and jumped up and down while I was thinking. "Time to be happy, yay!" She exclaimed nervously to me. I laughed. She was trying her best to lift my spirits.

"I know you know about Jake, Keely, it's cool. I just wish with my whole heart that Jacob was here today. He's my reassurance. I'm afraid I'll fall on my face when I walk down the isle and he won't be there to tell me I won't make a fool of myself." I explained.

She took a seat next to me, "Hey, you won't fall on your face. I can tell you that. I'm sorry Jake isn't here today. Everyone wishes he were." She put a hand on my hand. I put a smile on my face to show that I was okay, publicly.

"I guess he'll just have to make do with pictures." She picked up the hairspray and spritzed my hair one last time before the ceremony started.

I walked the isle with Embry. He gave me a reassuring pat on the hand as we made our way through the barn. Yes, barn. It was too cold to have an outside wedding and Emily was set on having the wedding and reception at her parent's house so the barn in the backyard was turned into wedding and reception hall for the night. It was actually kind of perfect for them. I didn't trip or fall as we made our way to the alter. Emily was beautiful in her dress and Sam's eyes were all watery when he first saw her. Mine watered too. I looked at Paul knowing Jacob should have been the one standing on the other side of Sam. The vows were said and the happy couple was now one. I was relieved when the music started up and Embry and I made our way to the back of the church. I heaved a sigh of relief and sat my flowers down on a little homemade table. I didn't fall or make a scene. Embry stayed close to me as I leaned against the table to take a breath. He kept quiet for a moment until he swept me up in his arms and gave me a vice tight hug. "I miss him too, you know? God, I wish he was here today. Bella, I'm so sorry!" He spoke quietly so to not interrupt the guests.

I was taken aback a little by Embry. He let go of me and I picked up my flowers as the rest of the wedding party made their way to our area. "I know, me too Embry, me too." I shook my head and tried to plaster a smile on my face again for everyone.

"I did okay though right? I did pretty good up there?" He whispered to me with his hands folded looking straight ahead. I guess he was nervous too.

I nudged him, "You did great! No one fell or caught themselves on fire with the candles did they?"

He laughed and straightened his tie. "True, very true."

"Yeah it would suck if something caught on fire this whole place would go up in flames, the wood is so old and dry." I knocked on the ancient wood wall behind me with my knuckles, "It would be a wedding from hell, literally" I whispered to him.

He stifled a laugh and ended up snorting, "You're too much." He shook his head.

"Shhh!" Leah hissed at us, giving me a wicked glare. What a bitch, I thought.

Thirty minutes into the reception I wanted to leave. I was uncomfortable in my dress and my up-do was giving me a headache. I hung around Charlie most of the evening, avoiding the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I felt like I didn't belong with them anymore since I was known as _Vampire Girl_ before _Jacob's girlfriend_ and now that Jake was MIA I felt like the outsider again.

"Here." Charlie stuck out two five dollar bills to me.

"What?" I was confused and left the money hanging there.

"Go to the bar and get something to drink. I don't care, it's a wedding." Charlie's eyes darted everywhere like he was attempting to make an illegal transaction.

"Dad! I don't drink!" I hissed and crossed my arms.

"Stop being such an uppity and go get something." Charlie pushed the money to me.

I refused again, "No!" I couldn't believe the chief of police slash father was making me drink against my will. If I wasn't nineteen I would have called Child Protective Services first thing in the morning.

"Take the money and get your ass up there!" He hissed at me. His eyes were annoyed.

I was dumbfounded. My father just told me to get my ass up to get an alcoholic beverage. Should I be worried about this? I grabbed the money out of his hands and stomped up to the bar. Hell I didn't even know what to buy. I don't drink. I overheard the guys before me ordering, three of the five ordered a Jack and Coke. That seemed to be the popular choice of the night. I put a five down and said "Jack and Coke" real hastily and the bartender's eyes widened.

"Now that's my type of girl." He winked at me as he fixed my drink and handed it to me. "This one's on me." He winked again and didn't take my money.

"Oh, thanks." I said sheepishly, turned around and rolled my eyes at the bartender's sad attempt of flirting. I took a sip, it tasted like a Jack and Coke would taste like I guess. Maybe a little strong though. I saw Leah sitting at a table by herself. She may be a bitch but I felt bad for her so I took a seat next to her.

"My dad's making me drink." I said immediately sitting next to her. She looked at me and then looked at my dad's table, "Your dad is also hanging around my mom an awful lot." She glared in his direction. I looked over to see what she was talking about. _Huh, I guess he was hanging around Leah's mom a lot_. That's probably why he wanted me to go do something away from him. It was just the two of them at the table. "Weird." Is all I said and took another sip. A few moments of silence, "I still have ten dollars. Do you want something from the bar? I'll get it."

"No." Leah crossed her arms.

Another few moments went by, "This night sucks." I finally admitted, because in all honesty it did for both of us.

She laughed, "You're telling me! This is so fucked up. My situation and yours."

"Yeah it is really f'd." I sighed and sipped again.

She turned to me. "So where do you think Jacob is?" She asked.

I wasn't expecting such a turn of conversation. "I honestly don't know. That's the hardest part about it. I don't know where to start looking or to look because no one knows if he left on his free will or not. I don't think he would have…" I started rambling and she cut me off.

"Don't look." She said.

"Why?" I demanded to know.

She rolled her eyes. "Has the idea of him…meeting someone…ever crossed your mind?"

I was confused, "No, what kind of meeting?"

She sighed and laughed darkly. "I so don't want to be the one to explain this." She situated herself in her seat. "What if he met another girl? What if he imprinted and ran away because he couldn't stand to face you." She just implanted the worse possible scenario ever.

"No that's impossible! He imprinted with me!" I backed away from her disgusted by the thought.

She laughed again and stood up, "Yeah, okay. Go ahead and believe that." Leah walked away and didn't look back.

What was she saying, _go ahead and believe that_? Jacob imprinted with me! He told me he did! I sipped my drink at the table lost in thought. Jacob didn't run off with anyone. Who would he have gone off with? A stranger? Well, I guess that's what Sam kind of did with Emily. I looked at the happy couple as Sam twirled Emily on the dance floor. Shit.

My foot tapped as I stared off into space. I didn't have the motivation to make talk with anyone and I couldn't set at my dad's table because he was _woo-ing_ his dead friend's wife. I sipped my drink until the ice cubes were the only thing touching my lips. I got up and swayed a little. _Just the nerves, just the nerves_. I walked back up to the bar and sat my cup down and took out my money. "Another Jack and coke, my dear?" The bartender asked sweetly.

"Just the Jack." I said passing him the cup.

He laughed and took out a smaller glass cup and poured the drink. I sat down a five he gave me back three and I gave him one. That's how they do it in the movies.

I went back to the table with my mini drink, which I didn't understand why he didn't just put it in the regular cup. He didn't put ice in the tiny glass either. I shouldn't have given him that one dollar. I took a sip from it and made a face. It burned my throat a little as it made its way down. Now I know why he gave me a little glass. I sat it back down and went back to thinking. How could I doubt not being Jacob's imprint? After everything we've been through before transformation and after I couldn't believe I wasn't his and he wasn't mine. Once I gave myself the chance to open up to him I could see that we were good for each other. We fit just right in the _natural and right_ systematic cycle of life, besides his supernatural transformation at times. Is it possible for a werewolf to have two imprints? That wouldn't make sense. My train of thought was interrupted by Embry scooting out a chair and sitting down. "What are you doing here by yourself?"

I snapped my head to him. "Is it possible to have two imprints?" I eyed him down. He could tell I was serious but that didn't stop him from laughing.

"No! Are you serious? What brought this on?" He laughed again.

"What if Jacob left because he found someone else?" I sat there and told him my theories.

"Bella, that's retarded. I've been in his mind numerous times and know better than that. You're on his mind all the time, trust me." He put his drink down and I took the last drink of my Jack. He laughed again, "Your sipping out of a shot glass. Only you would do that."

The table vibrated. My little bag was the only thing on it that would contain any sort of vibration. I took out my cell phone and had a text message. "Seriously, who the hell text messages? Are people too anti-social to even talk on the phone these days?" I pushed many buttons to open up the message.

_9:02 P.M. Alice 651-895-3598 – You told me a few days ago you were spending the night. I want to see what you look like since I haven't seen you at all today ____. Please stay with me!_

I sighed and slammed my phone down, "Are you drinking a Jack and Coke too?" I asked Embry.

He chuckled, "No, it's not smart to be a supernatural being and consume alcoholic beverages. Sam found that out the hard way when he first transformed. Is that what you have been drinking?"

"Yes and I think I will have one more before the night is over. Would you stay and talk with me?" I got up and grabbed my shot glass.

"Yeah, of course. You look kind of worried."

"And you get the grand prize for figuring that out!" I pumped my right fist in the air, spun around and walked to the bar. I ordered my third and final drink with my dad's money and sat down at the table with Embry.

"You've been thinking about Jacob tonight, I see." He eyed my drink.

"No it's not that. Well maybe this drink is kind of the reason but it's more Leah…and what she said to me."

He immediately started talking, "Don't take to heart what she says. She's bitter."

I cut him off, "She told me Jake may have imprinted and that she doesn't think that I'm his imprint."

Embry cleared his throat and straightened up at my comment. "Bella, he loves you. He wouldn't leave you without telling you. I don't think he left on his own free will. You need to disregard everything Leah said. She's bitter, obviously this isn't a great night for her. She just wants someone else to suffer with her." Embry talked me down from my moment of anxiety. We sat and talked about Jacob for the next half and hour and tried to come up with any leads or conclusions, the only one we both agreed on was Victoria. I shuddered at the thought that she had anything to do with him. Neither the wolf pack or The Cullen's found any trace of Victoria since Jacob's disappearance and they didn't know what to think of that. I got another text from Alice.

_9:56 P.M. Alice 651-895-3598 – Please ________ I'm bored. The internet is down here cause of the storm and I can't buy Alice and Olivia pants. Hurry up!_

I eyed Embry, "Will you take me somewhere? I don't want to drive after I've been drinking."

"Uhh…I guess." He was apprehensive.

"Take me to the werewolf/vampire border?" I smiled fakely at him.

"No!" He screamed and eyes widened.

"I'm supposed to stay with Alice tonight." I wanted to get out of here. I couldn't stand another second of this place.

"Bella, that's out of the question. I am not going to take you to meet up with a family of vampires. Jacob would kill me for this." He spoke slowly and clearly trying to change my mind about going.

"Fine. I can't take another minute of this." I finished off my drink and stood up with my matching clutch in hand. The room spun and I grabbed the back of my chair to steady myself

"Where are you going?!" Embry stood up with me.

"To the border." I put a hand on his shoulder. "It was good walkin the isle with you bud. Hope we don't have to do that again anytime soon. Bye." I hiccupped and walked passed him.

I turned around and contemplated saying goodbye to Charlie but he seemed like he was enjoying Sue Clearwater's company too much. I spotted Embry talking with his hands to Sam. They both looked back at me and I darted for the door. I stomped to my truck, one foot after another. Who was I kidding I can't drive! I would just sit in my truck until it wore off or I would call Alice and explain my condition and location. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Leah hanging around the trees by herself. What an emo bitch. I just glared at her and walked passed her.

"Really, he would have told you where he was going before he left." She yelled at me. I stopped and turned around.

"Not if he was kidnapped or taken hostage he couldn't!" I screamed back.

"I would think he would fight back as hard as he could to get back to you if he was." She snorted back.

I huffed and jumped in my truck and crossed my arms. How dare she talk to me like that? I've hardly had any conversation with her at all in my life and she has the nerve to tell me my boyfriend doesn't love me? He's fought for my heart numerous different times, why wouldn't he now? Anger consumed me at the moment but Leah really did push my buttons and hit my insides hard with that missle of a statement. I know tonight I would be up re-evaluating Jake and I's relationship. I fished out my phone and called Alice.

"Hi, I don't know how I'm going to get to you. I'm drunk." I freely stated.

"Wha,what?" This was probably the first time I surprised Alice.

"Charlie had me order something from the bar at the reception and I guess Jack and Cokes' and Jacks' by themselves are kind of strong and now I'm wasted and sitting in my truck. I hope the bartender doesn't come out here cause I'm pretty sure he made the drinks that way for a reason. He even winked at me! Can you believe that? He had to be like twelve years older than me!" I rambled on in the phone and then burped. "Eww I just up-chucked a little in my mouth. Hold on." I spit out the window and almost hit Embry. He huffed and pulled my door open. He was pulling off his tie and shoes and had me scoot over in the seat. "What are you doing?" I directed my question towards Embry.

"Bella!" Alice screamed in the phone. I couldn't concentrate to two people at the same time.

"I'm taking you to the border. I can't believe I'm doing this! You're going to get yourself killed you know that, right? And, if Jacob finds out about this I will be killed! So were both up a shit creek without a paddle!" He started the truck and sped passed Emily's house.

"Hey Alice can you pick me up at the La Push border? I'll be there in a second."

"Bella, we'll be there when you arrive." That wasn't Alice. It was Edward. The phone went dead.

"Thanks Embry. I won't tell anyone. My tummy burns." I rubbed my stomach.

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to go." Embry looked at me with worried eyes.

"I'll be fine. I promise. I've been hangin' with the vamps longer than I have you guys." I threw up the_ West Side _sign with my hands.

We reached the border and Embry started taking off his clothes outside the truck, said his goodbyes and ran off into the woods. He didn't want to be there one second longer. Alice and Edward were standing right at the border waiting for me. Edward ran over to me first and Alice skipped along. They both got in and I was sandwiched between the two with Edward driving. Edward's face was strained as he put his arm around me. I let him. It was silent.

"Penis." I say as serious as I could. Trying to break the awkward silence. It's something Jacob and I would do for fun in public. They both look at me with wide eyes. I kept my eyes on the road. "Anyone? Anyone?" I shrug my shoulders.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked squeezing my shoulder.

"Penis." I respond and smile at him.

Alice laughs, "How many drinks did they give you at the wedding?"

"Two mixed drinks and one Jack of shot. The bartender liked me I think so I think he put a little too much in." I make a pinching motion with my fingers and tightened my eyes. Edward speeds up and his grasp on me tightens. I put my arms around both of them and Alice turns up the radio.

Perfection came swift and readily. "_I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol. Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed. Rap critics they say he's 'Money Hash Coes'. I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those. If you grew up with holes in yo zapatos…I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch aint one_!" I scream the last part of the Jay-Z song, snap my fingers and throw my arms up in the air like I just didn't care. It took a second for me to realize that we were now driving five miles an hour. Two vampires were gaping at me, speechless. Alice reaches over to turn up the music but Edward's hand was faster as he turned it down. I turn to Edward to glare, "Music snob," I fold my arms over my chest. Edward looked down at my chest and I follow his gaze to see what he was looking at. The dress I was wearing seemed to make my cleavage bulge out…the little that I had, when I crossed my arms. I looked up at him, he was now looking straight ahead driving at a better speed. He didn't look back at me but a shit-eating-grin slowly formed on his face. I smiled too and kicked him lightly with my leg and then rubbed up against it under the steering wheel.

I walked myself up to the Cullen's front door with much protest. They were treating me like I was disabled not buzzed.

I rushed upstairs to Edward's bathroom. It was the only bathroom in the house that actually had a stock of toilet paper and other toiletries in it…he even had tampons in the back of the cabinet for me. It was comical that his bathroom would be the only place to house them.

I didn't realize how bad I had to use the toilet until I locked myself inside. As I did my duties in there I heard Edward's record player playing _Bat for Lashes_. He must have left it on when they came and got me. I walked in his room and started studying his record collection. I was only in the A's when I found what I wanted to hear. It was colder out now, reaching into November and I felt that _Louis Armstrong_ was missing from Sam and Emily's wedding. I took out the record carefully and put up Bat for Lashes. I put the needle right where I wanted it to be, "What a Wonderful World" I sat cross legged on the carpet next to record player listening to it. I wished Sam and Emily would have danced to this song at their wedding. But, even though tonight was a night of celebration we were all aware that we weren't living in a wonderful world without Jacob. A brother, son, friend and lover was missing. I sat there contemplating what Leah told me. My heart felt like it was twisting and turning inside of me. It would be stupid to believe anything she said about Jacob but I couldn't help my mind wander. There was a light knock at the door, Edward was there smiling at me. He walked over and sat next to me in the same style. "Bat for Lashes to Armstrong?" He smiled brightly.

"Yeah I felt like it was missing from the wedding tonight, now it's just making me depressed." I tried to run my hand through my hair, forgetting it was in an up do. I started yanking pins out of my hair.

"Let me help." He got on his knees and carefully one by one started taking out the pins. "You look beautiful tonight Bella. You're such a classic beauty. A beauty that could only grow more exquisit in time, rather than fade away."

"Thank you." I answered right away. I blushed and looked through his records again. _The Turtles_ would be an upper from_ Louis_. I put on _Elenore _as Edward was finishing going through my hair.

"Alice is going to be upset she didn't get to do this." He whispered in my ear behind me.

"She would have ripped my hair out." I stated matter-of-factly. We both laughed he stood up and I looked up at him. He offered his hand to me and he helped me up.

"How are you feeling?" He whispered not letting go of my hand.

"Better. I think it was what you call a 'buzz'? I wouldn't know exactly of course." I smiled sheepishly at him.

"No more _Jay-Z_ tonight then? I don't think I have any of his music but I can put it on my iTunes if you want to memorize anymore raps? I think he covered an _Imogen Heap_ song recently if you want to learn that one."

"Yeah I recommend you putting more rap on your iTunes, Lord knows you love it. But I'm sure you could just rip it all from Emmett's computer if you really wanted to." He agreed with my statement. The music started to swell and his other arm grasped my waist and before I could blink he spun me around, dipped me and brought me up to his eye level. My head spun.

"I had to. It was an impulse. The way you dress, your smell, your hair, this music…I feel like I'm living back in the old days, like I'm actually _living!_" Edward took a whiff of my neck and closed his eyes. A soft and peaceful smile crossed his face as he opened his eyes and looked down at me. I couldn't be mad at him for trying to make me dance. I didn't say anything but put my arms around his neck and swayed with him to the music. I didn't want to rob him of a moment that made him feel alive. His grasp on me stayed tight but he brought me closer to him. The tip of his cold nose was brushing up against my cheek. "I'm sorry." He apologized, thinking I was upset with him.

I rubbed the back of his shoulder with my left hand, "No, don't be. I'm happy you feel like _that_." I breathed in his sweet scent. His hands were pulling me to him, closer and closer.

"I feel a little bit more alive every day that I'm around you. You're heartbeat is my heartbeat. Your vessel works for me also." He whispered. I could still feel his nose on my skin.

I swallowed hard, my heart was beating erratically. His words pierced my soul. My hand stopped at the back of his neck and I found myself being the one to bring his face to mine. His lips hovered over mine and I stood completely still. I couldn't tell if _my _heart was even beating. His lips grazed mine once and then came to them again for a real kiss. Once, twice, three times he kissed me, pulling back just a little every few moments to let me breathe. With his last kiss he parted my lips with his cool tongue and I flung myself into him, trying to smash his lips harder against mine. I pulled away when I heard Jacob's voice in my head. Not again! _'Don't do this Bella!_' he yelled at me. It was too late, I was completely intoxicated by Edward's touch.


	14. Regrets

_**Mean reviews make me not want to write.**_

"We can't do what we did last night again, alright?" I told Edward as I marched down the stairs of his house. I was wearing clothes Alice had picked out for me and my bridesmaid's dress in hand.

"Why?" He asked following close behind me.

"It's making me confused." I said without looking back at him. I opened up the front door.

"Pretty human girl doing the walk of shame!" Emmett whooped from the living room.

I slammed the door behind me but I heard it open right after I closed it. "Bella wait!" Edward walked beside me to my truck. I put my dress in and turned to face him. "We need to at least talk." He brushed the hair from my face with his fingers and put his other hand on my waist.

I got in his face and whispered, "What we did was wrong. We can't go in that direction. Not now!" I opened up my door and got in.

He reached through my open window and grabbed the steering wheel when I turned the ignition. "You're upset."

"I'm fine to drive. I'm good. All good!" I strapped on my seat belt and threw my hands up in the air.

He opened up the door, I rolled my eyes. "I don't want you to go." The _vampire puppy dog eyes_ had a stronger hold on the human race than the regular kind of puppy dog eyes.

I was_ almost_ putty in his hands, "I...I...No! I'm leaving. Now." I turned around and pulled out of the drive. I was thankful for my truck that I looked in my rear-view mirror. Alice was standing in the drive with her arms folded across her chest looking extremely pissed.

She was at my window immediately, "I invite you over and I don't even get to see your face for more than five minutes but I get an eyeful of your backside as you were straddling my brother on the couch!" My face flickered to Edward. He was standing in the same spot looking at a rock on the ground with a smug smile.

"I'll let you cut my hair tonight. Come over at eight." I spun out of their drive and left.

I had a message after I got out of the shower from Charlie wanting me to go to Jacob's house to help him with a '_project_'.

I stormed into Billy's that afternoon ready to have a word with my father. "Dad next time you want to be alone with your girlfriend just tell me! Don't have your daughter drink. I think I'm addicted now. I bought a case of Heineken this morning and finished it on the way here."

"One, Sue is not my girlfriend; two, you're right I'm sorry and three they don't sell Heineken in Forks." Charlie said with a rag in his hand. "Now get the duster and a chair and get the cobwebs down. We're cleaning today."

I huffed and did what I was told because I actually did want to help Billy out around the house. Another revelation hit me as I was spindling the duster around cobwebs in the corner of the living room. Jacob wouldn't leave his dad voluntarily. Jacob was Billy's crutch, literally at times. His dad reallied on him for daily necessities. I couldn't see Jacob knowing this and leaving on his own. I jumped down off the chair and went into Jacob's room. The bed had clean sheets on it, t_hank God_! I was sure Sam rummaged through the room already looking for clues but now it was my turn. First I just stood in certain spots looking for anything abnormal but then I started digging deeper. The shelves were full of normal teenage boy things but I did come across a picture of me wedged between two car magazines. I couldn't tell where it was from. I kept snooping. Nothing, nothing more nothing and dirty underwear beneath the bed. I opened the bedside drawer and found my bra and undies from my last night with Jacob. Sam must have put them in there. I shut the drawer and left them in there so Jacob could get a surprise. I felt around Jacob's sock drawer since I wasn't tall enough to look inside. I pulled out a jewelry case, more specifically a ring box. I opened it without hesitation and found a simple diamond ring inside. I gasped and rubbed the sparkle with my finger tip. Was this a engagement ring? I rushed out of the room to Billy's side. "What's this?" I asked.

He looked up at my father who looked like he just shat himself when he saw the box and then back to me. "I guess the cat's out of the bag now. Jake was sort of talking about marriage a few weeks before he left." He mumbled the last part after he watched Charlie's reaction.

"How_ sort of _was he talking about it? _Sort of _enough to get an engagement ring?" I prodded.

"He showed me the ring the day before he took off."Billy said. My dad walked over to us and examined the ring.

I looked at Charlie and jumped up. "I'm supposed to be engaged right now! Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"Jacob is too young to get married! No you're not Bella! Billy why didn't you say something to me about this?" Charlie threw down his rag.

"He was going to ask your permission before he did it." Billy said.

I started jumping up and down with the box in my hand. "No way! No way! No way!" I ran to the bedroom, sat down and stared at the ring. This confirms that Jacob didn't leave because he didn't love me anymore. He loved me enough to buy a ring the day before he disappeared. The same time I moved into my own house. He loves me. Jacob loves me. A million emotions ran wild inside of me. I regretted last night with Edward, I felt stupid for thinking Jacob didn't want me or ran off with another girl and sad because I would have said _no_. I couldn't get married at nineteen. It wasn't because I didn't love Jake because I do. It's just we both have too much on our plates right now to even fathom a marriage. I wondered if he was thinking about proposing after Sam and Emily's wedding. Would I really have said _no_ to Jacob if he did it right after the wedding? Or, would I be wearing the ring today?

I snapped the case shut and stormed out the door, "I'll be back. I need to go talk to Embry." I didn't wait for a response from either of the men.

I found Embry along with the rest of the pack besides Sam by the cliffs. "Hey Bell! Glad to see you're alive!" Jerad greeted me first. "Hey, was Jacob going to propose to me? I found a ring." I put a hand on my hip and asked out of breath from walking.

The boys stood up straight, eyes wide. "Yes." Embry was the first to respond.

I nodded my head, "Okay just making sure. Yeah, we need to find Jake. He didn't leave on his own." I said casually. "My first instinct believes it's Victoria since none of us has seen her since. Let's start there."

"And our first instinct is Edward because there are zero reasons why he_ wouldn't _have." In unison the shirtless boys folded their arms and stared me down.

My eyes darted back and forth between each boy and every one of them had the same resolution in their eyes.


	15. Jacob Black POV pt 3

_**Jacob Black, part 3.**_

I learned to keep my mouth shut when I woke up to avoid another needle in my arm. I've been fed blackened toast and pinto beans for every meal for the past month. I felt like I would vomit if that fucking kid came back with another plate of it. A few minutes later the kid came back without the food. He opened up the cell and ushered me out. My wrists were bound together and I had no strength to hardly stand and definitely not enough to faze. "Where are we going?" I asked as he pushed me through the dirty, dark hall.

"Meeting time." Is all he said. As he opened the next door a pungent odor of vampire wafted through. I gagged and covered my nose with my bounded wrists. A loud crash came to the left of me and I instinctively crouched down into attack mode. A newborn vampire with blood red eyes was clawing at us through the bars. He looked familiar. There were two more in the cells next to him. We made our way through the last door and there she was. Sitting at a decrepit table tapping her long fingernails against the rotten wood. Victoria.

The boy sat me down and strapped my ankles to the chair. Nothing was said in those moments, we just stared at each other. Would this be my end? I wouldn't go down without a fight and if this was and I would make sure the bloodsucker would go down with me. "Why me?" I asked.

"Bella traded mates." Victoria smirked, her fingers kept rapping against the wood.

"I didn't do anything to your companion! It was the Cullens and Laurent was on our land! He broke the treaty and we had to kill him!" I hissed.

"I am fully aware that it was Edward that killed James. That is why I want you to join our efforts in taking out the Cullens. Oh and I don't give a shit about Laurent...Never really had."

"Taking out?" I asked.

"I'm going to destroy every one of them. If you fight along with me I'll spare your mate Bella." She smiled and stopped tapping. _Oh how I dreamed of this day that the Cullens would die._ "I know you want them gone as much as I do."

I thought for a moment. "I won't do that to Bella. I know how much they mean to her even if they...they're dead." I had to remember I was talking to one of them.

"You don't really have a choice Jacob. I already temporarily took away your phasing attributes. I can keep pumping drugs into your system until it stops all together."

_I'm fucking useless now._ I shook my head. I knew something was wrong with me other than being drowsy all the time. "I can't hurt Bella. I love her. She's my imprint if that means anything to you."

"Yes, I've heard." She rolled her eyes. "Boy, don't you see I win either way if you don't accept! I kill you, dump your body off at her doorstep and destroy her when she opens up the door to see your mangled body on her daddy's porch. Or, kill everyone you want to destroy anyway. It's a win/win for me and a win/lose for you. What do you say?" She was an inch away from me and a murderous smile crossed her face. Every bone in my body ached to rip her face off right then and there.

I didn't have the strength to phase or fight. She could kill me on the spot if I said no. Bella wouldn't speak to me if I killed her leeches. But I would get to live. "If Bella knew I killed them my life would be over anyway because she wouldn't accept me afterwards." I stated.

She laughed, "Then don't tell her you killed them. After Edward and the _Brady Bunch_ are dead you are free to leave. No strings attached. I won't come back to your territory. You can go back to your imprint like nothing ever happened."

I didn't respond.

"Does the _Teen Wolf_ need some time to think it over?" She asked.

"Yes...please."

"Take him back Riley!" She commanded to the boy.

"I need the tranquilizer gun." He said.

"No more drugs, I have a feeling he's going to comply." Victoria stormed out of the room.


	16. Chapter 13

_**Last week it was announced Thom Yorke and Bon Iver will be included on the New Moon soundtrack. Check out the Critical Mass soundtrack to get a slice of what the soundtrack could sound like!**_

I couldn't concentrate on my homework that was due on Tuesday. I called Edward while I was in La Push and told him what the pack thought. The Cullen's and the wolf pack arranged an emergency meeting that was taking place now. Edward wouldn't allow me to be at this meeting even though I thought I was a vital part of it. I was hoping no one was getting killed tonight.

I pushed my laptop aside and snuggled into my pillows and blankets in my bed. I had a late night to say the least and a long morning. I let my eyes close and my thoughts fluttered back to last night.

Edward wasn't as careful with me last night and I had my guard down a little too low. _We were latched on to each other in the middle of his bedroom with oldies music blaring through the speakers. I let my hands explore his body. He tightened his grip around my waist and lifted me up to be eye level with him. His left hand was on my back while his other one grabbed my ass. My dress was made out of silky fabric and he lost his grip on me as I slid down his body. I tried wrapping my legs around his torso while my lips were attached to his. My attempt was unsuccessful and my dress ripped a little. Edward's lips trailed to my neck. I unlatched my arms from around him and un-hooked the top of my dress and unzipped my dress. Before it could fall off of me Edward grabbed the side of it, keeping it up. "What are you doing?!" He asked, stunned._

"_I'm uncomfortable in this dress! Let go!" I slapped his hand away from the dress so he would listen. He dropped his hand. The dress slid down my body in an instant. For the first time I was standing in front of Edward in my delicates. He froze, his eyes fixated on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took in his bottom lip between mine and sucked. That warmed him up. His icy cold hands found their way around my hips as he hoisted me up. His tongue was jammed down my throat. I was able to swirl mine around it. He carried me holding me by my ass to the couch. He flung himself onto it with me on top. I pulled at the collar of his shirt, "Take it off. Let me take it off!" I grabbed his black t-shirt and pulled it over his head. I couldn't believe he was letting me go this far. I wasn't __his__ little girl anymore. He didn't need to be that careful with me and I wanted to show him what I learned since his absence. I threw the shirt behind us while keeping his gaze. I ran my hands over his cold, granite-like body._

"_Bella." Edward swallowed as he traced my hands. He looked worried._

_I pulled back from him and rested my hands lightly on his lap. I pulled my curly hair over my left shoulder. I bit my lip and stared into his eyes. My hips started rocking back and forth against him. His mouth gaped open and his eyes rolled back into his head for a moment. He reached out for me but hesitated. "Touch me." I demanded._

"_Okay." He quickly complied. His hands explored my exposed neck and traveled downwards skipping by the place I wanted him to touch the most. He was careful with every motion, like one wrong move would shatter me. I reached for his hand and placed it very gently against my left breast. I had a satin strapless black bra covering me. His other hand cupped my breast as the other one petted it. It was strange and very inhuman…But I enjoyed it. He rested his cheek against me as his tongue traced around my breast. I reached around and unsnapped my bra. Edward had the bra in his hands in an instant. He sniffed it and threw on the ground. He stared at my exposed pert nipple that was right in front of him. He leaned his face down to my breast and took in my nipple. I gasped from the feeling. His hands kneaded my breasts while my fingers yanked and pulled at his disheveled hair._

My eyes fluttered open and I realized I was touching myself through my panties to the recollection of last night. I took them off and circled my core. Edward and I didn't get _that far_. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to last night. I opened my eyes as I was about to climax. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. My fingers froze. Edward was standing in the doorway with lust filled eyes. "What are you doing?" I gasped. He didn't say a word. He walked over and got in bed with me. "Edward!" I exclaimed again.

"I…I want to help you." He stroked my cheek. I was stunned.

"No, we can't!" I hissed.

"I love you. I want to do this." He inched closer to me. His hands trailed down my body.

"It's…No…I don't…Ugghhh…Ohhh…Edward we shouldn't." His hands were trailing down my stomach making me twitch in pleasure.

"I want to make you feel good. Feel how much I love you." He nestled his head in between my neck and shoulder.

I put my arm around him and stroked his hair. "We shouldn't." I whispered in his ear. He tickled my entrance, I squirmed in pleasure. He continued to lightly massage around my entrance. I spread my legs allowing him to have free range. Edward pulled his head out from my neck to look at me. I was on my back breathing heavy and my heart pulsating. I writhed around in the sheets as Edward's fingers entered me. His fingers started pumping in and out of me. "Have you done this before?" I asked out of breath.

"No!" He sounded offended by my question.

"You're good." I tried to give him a reason for my question.

"Thank you." He kissed me deeply. His movements quickened. I reached down and put his thumb to my sensitive spot and showed him how to rub me right. He broke the kiss and hovered over me watching my reactions to his performance. I slid my hand down to his pants. I grabbed his cock and was surprised at how hard it was. This was the first time I succeeded in doing so. I wasn't really sure how hard he could get, being undead and all. He grabbed my hand which was now rubbing him off through his pants. "No. Don't." He whispered.

"Why not?" He could do it to me but I couldn't help him out?

"I'll lose control. I'll hurt you." I let my hand drop from his.

"Fine, all the pleasure is mine." I let him take control of me. I reached behind me and gripped the bed frame. I rocked my hips, grinding myself into his fingers and moaned. His free hand was petting my face. Every few seconds he would crush his lips to mine, pull away and breathe in deep. I yelped out as I climaxed while his fingers were still inside me. I could feel my muscles loosen and tighten around them as I did. After I was done he pulled out of me. He brought his fingers to his nose and inhaled. I froze, my eyes widened with surprise. He put them in his mouth and sucked. I just witnessed either the grossest or the hottest thing ever. I couldn't decide. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth, one by one and rested his head against mine. "What do I taste like to you?" I immediately asked.

He sighed, "I can't put it into words. It's exquisite though." He kissed my lips lightly. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"I…I can't wrap my head around it. I feel…mmm…I feel well…loved. I don't know. I can't think straight after what you just did to me." I snuggled deeper into him. "I'm relieved you are not dead. You didn't kill any wolves this evening, did you?" I mumbled into his chest.

He sighed, "No. Carlisle and I tried to convince them that we had nothing to do with his disappearance but I got a good look at all of their minds and they are all the same. I agree with you that it is Victoria but I can't convince the wolves. We even consented to let Sam in our house to check it out. Of course, he wouldn't even consider the idea. They don't one hundred percent believe it's us since we still all have our limbs. I think things will turn around. Bella, I also got a look at something else some of the dogs were thinking. It troubles me."

I pushed myself up on elbows to look him in the eyes. My sleep tank exposed my breasts somewhat and he let his left hand trail from my cheek bone down my shoulder to my breast where he very lightly pinched my hard nipple. I could feel myself getting wet again. With his index finger and thumb tweaking my nipple lightly he planted a soft kiss on my lips. "What is it?" I breathed. He kissed me again a little deeper.

"Don't marry him, Bella." He looked as if he was about to cry.

I looked down at the sheets. "I…I don't think I could marry him." I confessed.

"Really?" He lifted my chin up, making me look at him. He seemed relieved.

"I don't think I could ever get married. I don't want to…ever! The idea of marriage is inconceivable!"

His eyes were sad again. "I see." I sunk into my blankets again, wanting to rest. Edward's hands ran up and down my thigh. Wanting more, he pried my legs apart and started fingering me again. I batted his hands away even though I found myself wanting him to continue. "I'm going to feel awful about this after we're done." I told him.

"I'll stop." He brought his fingers up to mouth again. I shied away from watching and rested against his chest. "What is your favorite thing to do?" He asked nervously.

"What do you mean?" I asked with my eyes closed wanting to sleep.

"Sexually." He replied.

My eyes shot open. "Edward I'm not an expert on sex. I don't know what my favorite position is!"

"I mean…without having sex."

"I love it when Jacob goes down on me." I confessed without sparing his feelings.

"Oh." He sounded sad. "How do you feel when he sticks his tongue in your wet pussy?"

"What the fuck Edward? Get a grip! You're freaking me out by acting like one of those _Catch a Predator_ fucks!" I shot out of bed and stood in front him with my bottom exposed.

He sat up and grabbed my ass with both hands and dug his face into my pussy. "Say _fuck _one more time!" He growled against my lips. His ice cold tongue started lapping at my juices.

I screamed and pulled his hair. His cold wet tongue was making the animal side of me go nuts but I had enough control to know this was _too_ wrong. I hit him on the top of his head and screamed in pain. He stopped and looked up at me to see what I did. He stood up and reached for my hand. He looked back and forth from my eyes to my hand. He was sucking on his bottom lip and licking around the edges of his mouth while doing so. Something took over. I couldn't find a human quality in him. He sat back down on the bed and placed me on top of him. He examined my hand and looked up at me. I was crying at this point and I could see something human flicker inside of him. "Why are you doing this?" I sobbed and crawled into the fetal position on his lap. He put me back on the bed and stood up.

"I'm sorry!" He broke. My cries grew louder. This wasn't the Edward I knew and it scared me.

"I don't know what has taken over me! All I can think of ever since last night is wanting to _pleasure_ you! I can't stop thinking about all the human, dirty actions I want to do to you!" I peaked out from under my arm to see his face. He was pulling his hair, his eyes were wide and eying my naked ass. I quickly reached for my underwear, slid them on and got under a sheet.

"I'll cover up." I sniffled.

"It won't help! I want to ravage your body either way!" He huffed and slid his hand through his hair.

"Then leave!" I yelled to him.

He looked shocked, "You want me to leave?" He asked.

"Yes! Get out! Go somewhere and clear your mind! You're scaring me!" I screamed at him. I didn't have to tell him again. He was gone in an instant. I looked around the room and found no trace of him. I cried into my pillow, shocked and confused. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy what he was doing but it wasn't the Edward I was used to. Was this all my fault? Did I turn him into a sexual creature after last night?

I splashed cold water on my face, trying to look presentable for Alice. I was still expecting her to cut my hair tonight. My phone rang as I thought of her. I thought for sure it would be her but it was Jessica. I answered and immediately heard sobbing on the other end. "Mike and I got into a fight a few nights ago and he won't answer my calls and he hasn't shown up to school this week! I think it's over!" She cried into the receiver. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Drama never dies in my life.


	17. Chapter 14

Jessica kept chatting for the next thirty minutes about her fight with Mike. I put the phone down on my pillow beside my ear and stretched out in bed and said the occasional "_Mmmhmm's_", "_Oh no's!_" and "_That sucks!_" at the right times. Thankfully, she had to get off the phone with me to tell Lauren all about it but I was summonsed on Tuesday to hear all about it again at school. I looked at my alarm, it was past ten o'clock and there was no sign of Alice. Maybe Edward told her not to come over or maybe she had a vision of what was going to happen today and knew I wanted to be left alone. I decided I would give myself a haircut if she wasn't going to show up. I took out the scissors from my bedside drawer and went to work in front of the bathroom mirror. I cut, chopped and layered with my_ Fiskers _scissorsfrom when I was in grade school. Maybe I didn't need to go to a hair stylist anymore. I gathered my long strands from the sink and emptied them into the trash. I brushed my hair out and was pleased by the finished product. My length was two and a half inches shorter, layered and I had some long bangs. I put the scissors back in the drawer and that's when I heard an ear shattering crash.

My window fell in shards all over me and before I could physically move I heard another window break in the direction of the living room. I realized I was crouched down on my bedroom floor covering my head. I jumped up and pulled the pieces of glass from my arms. I yelped in pain and ran towards the living room. The front door was kicked off the hinges and lying on the floor. I could see outside. Before being taken over by fear, I ran out in a fit of rage. I knew who did this. I stood in the dark looking all around me looking for the vampire. I stood there with clenched fists and screamed "Give me back Jacob!" No one responded. "Take me instead of him! I'm the one you want! Take me and let him go! This has nothing to do with him! It's between the two of us!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I heard a faint high pitched cackle coming from a distance. It echoed off the houses and vanished. I went back in the house where there was no longer any sense of safety left. I went in each room to inspect the damage. I was now missing two windows and a front door.

I dabbed paper towels at the blood on my arms and started pacing the kitchen. I got my cell phone to call Edward but I thought of the blood and the events from earlier today. I was about to dial Sam's number but I remembered he and Emily were in Seattle for the next few days on their honeymoon. I didn't want to ruin it for them. I scrolled through my phone. Carlisle felt like the most viable choice. He didn't pick up when I called. I tried Alice next. No answer there either. My fingers were trembling when I finally dialed Edward's number. It went to voicemail after the third ring. I broke down. I sobbed into the receiver and told him what had happened and to come...only if he could handle it. I shoved the phone into my jeans pocket. I went to the front door that was still lying on the floor. I didn't want to have a scene for the neighbors in the morning. As I was shaking uncontrollably I lifted up the heavy door. I couldn't get a good grip on it and it fell back down with a bang. I was so shook up I stood there for a moment sobbing and cursing at the door for not putting itself together. I tried again, successful this time and propped it up against the frame. It looked like it was closed. I started to clean up the glass off the floor but I found it near impossible with my shaky hands. Why was I still in my house anyway? Victoria could come back at anytime and kill me. Maybe that's what I wanted. I didn't want anyone involved anymore. Maybe this would be the best way. I sat down on the couch waiting for a call from anyone. Minutes ticked by and no one called me back. I wasn't going to go to Charlie's, the Cullen's or Billy's and bring this upon them anymore. I left the lights all on in my house, climbed through my window and got in my truck and left.

I reached my destination, La Push beach. I pulled my truck up into the rocks, cut the engine and the lights and sobbed into the sleeves of my shirt. I slammed the lock down on my door and fell into the fetal position on my seat. I wish I had remembered a coat because the November air was freezing. I pulled out the thin blanket Jacob and I used use and curled up in it. I brought the blanket to my nose and breathed in...it still smelled like Jacob's skin. I sobbed into the blanket. I shivered and shook most of the night but somehow I fell asleep.

"Bella!" I heard a muffled voice call. I thought I was dreaming when I opened my eyes and noticed all of my truck's windows were covered in a fine sheet of snow. It was only November! I sat up and looked around in my icy cave. "Bella! Open up...if you are in there! Fuck I hope you are in there!" I couldn't figure out the voice. I was scared it was something from my nightmare. I rolled down the window just a sliver to peek out. Fingers were automatically shoved through the crevice and a little snow fell on my nose. I screamed like I was being murdered and tried rolling the fingers up into the window. "God damn it Bella it's me! Embry!" The name was familiar and I stopped smashing his fingers. He took his fingers out and I immediately unlocked the door. He swung the cab door open and gaped at me. "Holy fucking Jesus H. Christ! You're alive! Oh fuck me in the ass you're not dead! Holy fuck! Holy fucking shit!" I scooted over to give him room to get in. He climbed in and touched my shoulder. "Not _dead_ but very cold! Oh this is good, this is very good!" He was scaring me.

"What happened?" I squeaked. He seemed so scared.

He jumped back out after brushing my bangs out of my face, "I like your hair. I'll be back in a minute. Let me tell Sam." He started backing up into the woods, "Don't move! Don't you dare move an inch!" He warned.

"I won't!" I yelled back.

He was back in less than a minute without a shirt on. He jumped back in the cab and closed the door. The snow now only covered two of the three windows. He embraced me and I embraced him back. Embry's bare touched warmed me instantly. This was the first kind of human interaction I had since the incident. "We thought you were dead!"

"No. I came here. What happened?" I asked again.

"Victoria came back and took us by surprise. We caught her scent as she was passing through but we couldn't catch up to her. Paul and I went to check on you and we found you're house in shambles. Blood in your bedroom and you're hair in the bathroom. We thought she had you for dinner." He sighed and then smiled at me. "There was about to be World War III between us and _your_ leeches. They were at the treaty line screaming for us and Paul swore he thought one of them crossed the line. They were enraged that they almost had her and couldn't go any farther because of _us_." When he mentioned them I grabbed my phone off the dashboard. It was dead. The phone had frozen up in this temperature.

"I didn't know where else to go. I didn't want to involve anyone else. I figured this would be the best spot to hide out without bringing you guys in unless it was absolutely necessary." I threw my phone on the ground.

"Don't think that way Bella. It's our job to do this. We want Jacob back as much as you do, you know? Now I'm going to clean off the window and take you to Billy's. Sam thinks it will be the safest place for you. You're going to be staying there for the next few days. One of us will be there at all times to be on guard so you won't disappear on us like Jake." Embry explained what was going to happen this next week and kept on repeating how relieved he was that I was alive all the way to Billy's. When we reached his house the entire pack was in human form along with Emily, gathered around the porch waiting for our arrival. Once the truck was in park Embry slid me out of the seat. Emily and the boys approached the vehicle and started asking a million questions.

Embry took me out of the truck and held me like a doll in his arms. Emily gasped, "You _are_ hurt! Embry you told Sam she was fine! She looks like a cutter!" Emily hugged me the best she could while I was entrapped in Embry's hold. She kissed my forehead, "I'm so relieved Bella." She whispered and shook her head. He carried me into the house. I was expecting him to drop me off at the couch but he took me back all the way to Jacob's room. Emily pulled the sheets back and Embry dropped me in. "I'm fine!" I tried fighting off the comforter that was going over me. I felt like a helpless child.

"No you just spent the coldest night in November in a truck and you have crusted over cuts that need to be cleaned!" Emily said throwing one of Jacob's t-shirts at me. "You're dad is going to be here shortly and you are a mess. I'm cleaning out the cuts before he comes." She started bustling around the room. Emily already had the peroxide and cotton balls out to help me. "The story for you're dad is the following: You're house was broken into while you were away. You were here in La Push when it happened and slept over at our house..." She went on with the plan. The boys started filing into the room during her explanation.

"How does Charlie even know?" I asked.

"You're neighbors called the police station this morning and reported a front door laying outside you're house. You should see it right now! It looks like a triple homicide was committed. Your dad has the entire yard taped off and every county cop inside." Paul laughed. Embry nudged him, "It's not funny she could have been hurt even worse!" He hissed at Paul.

"That's just great! So embarrassing." I shook my head.

"You should have seen when Edward showed up there this morning! Oh, now that was pure comedy! Every officer in a thirty mile radius was standing around including your neighbors and here comes a bloodsucker skidding to a halt in his Mercedes in front of your house. I was about to shit my pants watching him trying to act human in front of everyone and get passed you're dad's caution tape. The leech started screaming at your dad and once Charlie realized who it was he tried to have him arrested!" Paul clapped his hands and started keeling over in laughter. I was not amused. "Sam stepped in and took care of it. He had the honor and privilege to escort the leech by the shoulders back to his car!" The whole pack whooped and hollered. I was shocked.

"Edward didn't know what happened?" I asked meekly, pulling the covers around me like they could tell Edward finger banged me yesterday.

"He had no clue! That was the best part. Sam was the one who broke the news that Victoria was back and you were gone. Oh here you go." Paul handed me a bundle of wilting exotic flowers. "Edward threw these on the road when he left. Does the fanger still think he has a chance with you?" I wanted to kill Paul.

"Bella, don't pay attention to them." Emily shot a glare back at Paul. Why didn't Edward know that Victoria was back? Where was he? Those thoughts flashed through my mind. But then I remembered something else that was...more important.

"I ruined your honeymoon!" I grabbed her arm as she tried to soak me in peroxide. I let the flowers fall to the floor.

She laughed, "Its fine Bella." She shook her head and smiled, "Hey, we're wolf girls now; we have to accept the lifestyle now."

"Right, we _are _wolf girls." I mumbled back to her, securing the blanket around me. I found comfort knowing she still thinks of me as a part of the family even though Jacob was still gone.

Charlie was a nut case when he showed up an hour later. He hired a security team from Port Angeles to install not one but two security systems at my house. Emily convinced him that staying here would be more beneficial than Charlie's house since someone would actually be here. I felt like a caged gerbil the week I was at Billy's except I got to ride around in my ball to and from college. I was actually looking forward to Tuesday, getting a change of scenery.

I waited patiently for my friends to arrive at the school's student union but no one ever showed. Maybe their classes were cancelled because of the snow. Washington doesn't know how to react when white stuff falls from the sky. They act like the apocalypse is coming. Forty five minutes went by while I was reading at an empty table. "Bella! Someone to talk to finally!" Angela sighed in relief and dumped her books on the table.

I dug my head out of the book, "Yeah, where is everyone?" I asked.

"I don't know! Mike and Tyler has been MIA for the past week and I haven't seen Jessica and Lauren since Sunday."

"Maybe they're sick?" I offered.

"Maybe they all got Mono from each other?" Angela laughed.

"Lauren's been rubbin' up on someone?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Tyler!" Angela spilled.

"Oh sick! You think being in college would give Forks high's finest some variety!" I slammed my book down and laughed.

Thursday came around finally and Sam thought it was okay to let me off on my own since there wasn't another sign of Victoria. I pulled my cab up to my house. I opened and closed the front door numerous times, it worked like a charm. I strolled through the house carefully inspecting the damage. Everything was cleaned up and I had new windows. When I rounded the corner I had a surprise waiting for me in my room. Edward was perched on the end of the bed looking sullen.

I jumped back and gasped. "Damn it! Don't you know what I've been through this week! Don't do that!"

Edward got up. "You're security system is annoying. I'm sorry for everything Bella." He was pained.

"What are you talking about?" I knew what he was talking about.

"You could have been killed!" He hissed.

"But I wasn't." I shot back.

"Where the hell have you been?" He was in my face. His eyes were black. The bags under his eyes were darker than usual.

"Under the werewolf protection program. How long have you been here?" I threw my backpack down.

"Since I found out what happened...Monday morning. Waiting for you. You weren't at Charlie's and Paul was on my ass every time I tried to cross the treaty line." His eyes were hard.

"That was unnecessary! Don't risk your life for something stupid like that!" I was pissed that Paul hadn't mentioned this bit of information to me all week.

"I don't have a life! I'm dead! You mean more to me than my own existence! Please understand that!"

"Don't fucking do it again! There was no reason for you to even try! Paul would have ripped you to shreds!"

"Don't speak like that!"

"I'm angry!" I balled my fists.

"Me too!"

"Why are you?" I asked.

"I can't take better care of you! Every time I turn my back you're in trouble!"

"I made you leave this time! Don't blame yourself." I walked passed him and sat on the bed. "If I would have just laid here and let you eat me out all night we wouldn't have even noticed the windows shattering above us."

Edward stood directly in front of me. The way he was towering over me and looking at me made me want him to punish me. He didn't say anything.

I got up and went over to pick up my backpack. "Sorry." I took back what I had just said. As I was bending over to get my backpack Edward's arms wrapped around my torso and straightened me up. He put one hand on the back of my neck and pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested against his cool chest. He carried me to the bed and put me down next to him. I traced the circles under his eyes and he caressed the healing scabs on my arms. He looked deplorable. "Don't be sad, I'm okay." I said snuggling close to him.

"You're voice on the message almost killed me when I listened to it." He breathed in my scent and continued. "I went away. I thought hunting would cure my...certain desires for you. I left my phone in the car and spent the whole night feeding. I came back at dawn and my phone was blown up with messages from my family and the lone one from you. I tried calling, it felt like a lost cause since your phone was off and Alice couldn't find you...or your future." I shivered. "When I arrived to your house and took in the scene I thought you were dead. I read your dad's mind, it was too jumbled to make sense...and then there was Sam. He tried hiding his thoughts from me but it didn't work. The dogs didn't even know where you were."

"Embry must have found me right after that." I whispered.

"I like Embry alright." Edward said.

I was surprised, "Really? Why?"

"He was the only one that told me that you were okay. I was standing at the treaty line Monday night tempting one of the dogs and trying to read their minds to see if they knew where you were when Embry approached. He sat in the shadows and told me that you were being taken care of."

"Embry's a good guy." I hugged him to me.

"Why didn't you call me?" Edward asked as he kissed my ear lobe.

I felt awful instantly. "My phone froze up when I slept in my truck Sunday night. I didn't have my charger with me at Jake's...I didn't know you would want to talk to me. You didn't answer your phone. No one answered their phones."

"They were cornering Victoria. I'm sorry. Don't think that, they were in hysterics when they couldn't find you...You slept in your truck?" He was angry.

"I didn't know what else to do. I figured I would be safe on the territory and if I wasn't I would be alone if she came again." I buried my face into his neck.

"You were waiting for her?" I felt his grip around me tighten and his voice grow hard.

"...Kind of. It was a just-in-case." I mumbled.

"I will never understand your reasoning's." He sighed.

"I'm tired of bringing people I care about into this situation. I'm tired of being the weakling."

"You want to fight back?" He chuckled.

"I could if you changed me." I whispered.

"Never." His voice was flat.

"Never?" I popped my face out to see his reaction. I shouldn't have looked.

"I will never make you one of the eternal damned."

"What if I want to be?"

"I don't care if you think you want to be one of us. I will never allow it!"

"Therefore, we could never be together?" I asked.

Understanding crossed his face, "We're talking relations..."

I cut him off, "I'm talking about sex." I got to the point.

He sighed. "I would kill you!"

"I think you're just full of yourself."

"What?"

I laughed, "Nothing." I propped myself up on my arm to look at him.

"You're teenage hormones are driving me crazy." He breathed. His cold fingers lingered at my neck.

"Yeah me too. I wish someone would take care of them for me." I had an evil smile on my face.

"Don't." He rolled his eyes and scooted to me.

I snuggled into him again and breathed in his scent. "You would never even consider it?" I asked.

"What are we talking about now?"

"Changing me."

"No, I will never consider it."

My throat tightened up and a tear spilled over. I knew I would never be able to have a life with him. "I love you so much." I sighed out a disjointed breath and grabbed the back of his shirt. He pulled me out of the crook of his neck.

"Bella, don't cry." He wiped away my tears. "Why are you doing this? Why are you bringing this up now?" His hands were stroking me all over trying to comfort.

"I just needed to know." I cried.

"Needed to know what?"

"That there really is no future for us! Nothing could ever progress with us! This, right now is what we have and I'll get older and I'll be old and then I'll die! It's like Peter Pan. I'll be Wendy! What's the point if I can't live forever with you?!" I couldn't breathe. I was drowning in my sad realization.

Edward shook me, "Bella, you have to breathe! Isn't it enough that I'm here right now? That I'll always be with you as long as you want me? Bella, I've already decided when you die. I'm going to follow close behind. I will not exist without you. That's it." How could he smile at such a ludicrous remark?

"That's stupid." I sniffled.

"That's _love_." His ice cold lips came crushing up against mine and I pulled back. He seemed confused.

"I don't want to do this." I confessed.

"Why?"

"I am in love with Jacob."

"Bella...We haven't seen Jacob in over a month now." He whispered stroking my face.

"But he'll come back."

"Love, you need to start thinking about the possibility of him not coming back."

I sat up. "What? No! Jake's not dead! How can you say that?" I cried.

"Bella, the idea had to have crossed your mind!" He sat up with me.

"I thought he would fight for his life...for us...He'll...He'll fight." My voice trailed off as the idea of Jacob not returning registered in my mind. I keeled over onto my bed.

"Bella! Bella? Look at me! Bella!" I was unresponsive to Edward's touch. The room started to spin and my vision blurred. A current just pulled me under.


	18. Jacob Black POV pt 4

Cold garbanzo beans and a banana for dinner tonight. After days of complaining to Riley about my food…he gave me this. If I wasn't so hungry I would have shoved that banana up his ass. I knew Riley's schedule and after he dropped off my dinner. He was gone for the next hour. I pushed my food aside and got on all fours. I hadn't had a tranquilizer in me for five days and I was complying with Victoria's request. This was it. I paced back and forth in human form for a few minutes and nothing happened. It took me five minutes to phase but I did it but I didn't take into consideration the chains around my legs and arms would be a problem. I yelped in pain as the metal bands constricted around my limbs. I thought my feet and hands were going to pop off if I didn't change back quickly. I realized my plan to escape was going to fail. I had to have a second plan up my sleeve. I would pass along my information to anyone or_ thing _thatwas listening.

"_My name is Jacob Black. I'm from the La Push pack...in Washington. I've been imprisoned by a vampire. I don't know where I am but I have been here for a few weeks. Please pass this information on to my pack. My leader is Sam." _I quickly spat out in thought not expecting anything back.

"_Okay."_ I heard at least three voices say to me.

I yelped again, phased back and sat back on the cold metal bench. I was shocked that I got a response. I didn't recognize any of the voices but they sounded southern. I fell over and vomited all over my dinner. Soon, Bella would know I was still alive.


	19. Memory

_**The next day –**_

Edward and I were lying in the dead grass at the meadow. We had been arguing for the past day. It was going around in circles and getting nowhere. Edward's eyes were anxious, "You told me you loved me!"

"I do love you. I've always loved you but I realized something. Maybe I'm getting older and learning. I'm not sure." I shook my head. "This won't make sense probably...I can't explain it properly. I am sure of one thing. I'm not the same after you left. Everything I believed has been rearranged, misplaced or displaced. I know your reasons and I believe that you do still love me but your words don't affect anything inside of me. Nothing in me gets put back together when you promise me over and over again that you won't leave! There is no spark of magic that immediately heals me! I'm still anxious when you are away. When I think about it I become desolate for you. Edward, Jacob _fixed_ me. He was there when you weren't..." He cut me off.

"And now I'm here and Jacob's gone! Roles are reversed now! Why don't you feel that way towards Jacob! Why are you not angry he left you?" he snapped.

"Jacob was kidnapped Edward! It's different!"

He sat up. "You don't know that!"

"So you think Jacob left me?"

"Consider it."

That was a stab in the heart. "Take me home. You're being really mean!"

He fell back onto the grass. "No! I'm jealous! I don't like feeling this way!You're right he's probably just in _pound puppy_ prison somewhere!"

"Stop with the jokes!" I hissed.

"Fine Bella, tell me what to do!" He ran his fingers through his hair.

"What do you mean?" I sighed.

"I want you back! What do I have to do to make all your doubts about me go away? How can I restore your faith in me? A kiss? Because I would be glad to kiss you again until your dizzy. A promise? I'll stay with you forever I'll never leave your side…except to eat. Do you want me to beg? I'll get on my hands and knees and if I could cry I would." He sat up and took my hand. "Bella, everything I do now revolves around you. I don't want to live any other way. I made the biggest mistake of my existence when I lied to you in the woods, when I left you there alone. I'll never forgive myself for thinking that was the right decision. I see it in Charlie's mind how you were in my absence. Sam makes sure to show me what he found the night I left! I want to make everything right again. I want to fix you. Tell me how because I don't know." He pleaded and kissed my hand.

Yep, that did it. I was sobbing like a baby now. "I don't know either! I can't figure that out right now. But can you just support what I do and who I choose? Because right now I want to find Jacob. I want to _love_ Jacob if he makes his way home! I want to find him and bring him home! That's what I want now! Edward, I want Jacob."

He was devastated. "That's your decision?"

"I'm not going to drop Jacob while he is gone. If I did break up with him I couldn't just turn around and get back together with you! My feelings for Jake won't change. That's completely unfair to you and him!"

"It's unfair to him that you still love me!"

I realized that. "I know it's unfair but he still wants me! Edward I'm his imprint!"

"Don't, don't start in about the imprinting! It makes me sick to hear about it! It is utterly absurd and disgusting!"

"But it's true!"

"How damn romantic!" He exaggerated throwing his arms in the air.

I have considered this before, "It is weird. It makes me uneasy sometimes."

"The way he thinks about you...constantly...it bothers me."

"He can't help that he's a wolf. He didn't ask for it!"

"But you can stop the next generation of them!" His hands gripped the grass and pulled.

"Oh God stop it! I'm not thinking about having children!" I nudged his arm and laughed.

"Good." He turned on his side and curled up into the fetal position staring at me. We stayed like that silently staring at each other for a while.

"I _am_ sorry Edward." I whispered.

"I am too." He sighed. "I'll keep helping you find him."

"You don't have to. I know you don't want to."

"If that's what you want I'll do it."

_**Two days later -**_

I was driving to La Push to meet my dad at Billy's for a fish fry. I don't really like any type of seafood. I was just making an appearance. I pulled up into the drive and noticed Sam and company at the edge of the woods gathered with another group of guys. Emily waved me over. Once the guys spotted me their positions changed. Everyone seemed to straighten up. "Hi." I squeaked. I was very much intimated by the new guys.

"Bella, we have some news." Sam grimly stated. The ground started moving like lava under my feet. The trees started to spin around me.

"What? What happened? Did you find Jake?" Emily grabbed both of my hands. That's when I noticed I was shaking.

"We believe Jacob is in Texas. This is Silas. He and his pack are from El Paso. Three days a go Jacob contacted them. Jacob doesn't know where he is but Silas picked up his thoughts. Bella, he's been imprisoned. We think the red headed fanger is behind all of this. We're taking off in a few minutes to find him."

"I'm going with you!" I grabbed Sam's arm. My eyes pleading.

"No, Bella you must stay here. We're not putting you in danger. You can make your own decisions but try to listen to me. I want you to stay with Emily at our house. Seth and Embry are staying and keeping guard. You will be safe there. You can choose to stay with the Cullen's if you want but I would rather you be here."

I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to go and fight with them. I wanted to be the one that found Jake and bring him home. "Yes, I'll stay with Emily." I complied.

"Thank you." Sam said flatly. "I'll keep in touch with Emily while we are gone."

Emily took my hand. The look on our faces mirrored each other. The boys said their goodbyes. Both packs of shirtless men ran into the woods and disappeared. I leaned up against a tree and sunk down. Emily stayed with me until I was physically able to make it to Billy's house.

Emily and I hovered on the porch trying to put on game faces for Charlie. Billy already knew what was going on. I wondered how he could keep calm in front of Charlie. I could hear the two men talking from the kitchen.

"Well look at it this way Charlie, if the kid doesn't show up you can stop handing out child support. You never really met him anyway." I heard Billy say. That caught me and Emily off guard. Our faces were composed now and staring wide eyed at each other. We tiptoed to the house and put our ears against the door.

"I know, I know but it's my responsibility." Charlie said.

"She didn't tell you until three years a go! I'm just saying, think about it. She's only after your money."

I heard a muffled huff come from Charlie.

With our ears still pressed against the door Emily whispered, "Bella, do you have a brother?"

"I...don't...think...so." My eyebrows pulled together.

"Do you know what they are talking about?" She hissed.

"No idea." I said in a stunned voice.

She turned the door knob and we made our way into the living room. Billy wheeled himself around to face away from us. Charlie leaned against the kitchen counter looking away. Embry and the Clearwaters joined us in the tiny house for the evening. Once everyone ate Emily and I took off to her house. Charlie was over joyed that I was spending the next few days with Emily. He was still worked up over the break in at my house.

"Emily I need to call Edward. I should tell him where I am. Can I use your phone?"

She handed it over looking at me speculatively. Edward answered on the first ring.

"Hey my phone is still broken. I'm calling you from Emily's." I said at once.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He could hear the worry in my voice.

"Some wolf pack from Texas came to La Push. They have an idea where Jacob is. He's alive Edward! Most of the wolves took off with them to Texas. They're pretty sure it's Victoria. Edward we need to meet up."

"Where are you?"

"Emily's."

"I can't go there."

"We'll meet you at my house." I got off the phone with Edward. "Emily, will you go with me?"

She was weary, "I don't know Bella. I...it's not a good idea."

"It will be fine, I swear. Edward and his family are good. I need to know what my dad was talking about with Billy. Edward would know." She agreed and we were off in my truck back to my house.

It took me three tries to get my alarm code right. When we walked in Edward was already there standing as still as a statue in the living room. "Emily." He greeted her.

"Hi, I guess we never really met before." I could tell she was scared shitless.

"Yes, it's a pleasure though." His crooked smile won her over.

I took both of his hands, not worrying what Emily thought of my actions. "Do you think a fight will break out over this?"

"Probably but we will be ready. I already let everyone know what is going on." He looked at me closer. "Something else is on your mind. What is it?"

Emily gasped and took a step back. I looked at her. "I'm sorry I just...I forgot he...you can read minds." She sat on the couch.

"I can't read Bella's." Edward sighed and smiled. He pulled me to his side and stroked my cheek. Emily kept her eyes on Edward, mesmerized. "Bella, what is it?"

"We heard Charlie and Billy talking today." Edward's eyes darted to Emily's. He already knew what I was going to say probably from Emily's thoughts so I got to the point. "Does Charlie have a bastard child?" I asked.

Both Edward and Emily stifled a laugh. "Bella, it is best that you do not know the answer."

"So ignorance is bliss right?"

"Right." Edward said.

"I don't want what is best." I folded my arms. He put his hands on my shoulders.

"Have you ever?" He chuckled.

"Edward, the truth."

He towed me to the couch and sat me down. This must be bad. "It seems to be that a few years a go a lady from Humboldt contacted your dad and claimed her son was his."

I couldn't respond to that. So he went on.

"He's been paying child support to this lady for a few years now. The boy, Riley, worked as a veterinary assistant at the clinic here. You know, the one Angela's father works at."

"Wait! He's the boy that's missing?!" Realization came all at once.

"Yes."

"What do you think happen to said Riley?" Emily chimed in. She seemed more comfortable being in the same room with a vampire now.

"Ran off." Edward shrugged his shoulders. "After reading Charlie's mind it seems like the mom is I guess what you call these days a deadbeat and the boy has been in some trouble for petty theft and such. He's probably the one that took off with the vet's tranquilizers. Maybe cooking up meth somewhere in the forest."

"You know all of this and never even thought about mentioning it to me?!" I screeched.

He smiled patiently. "Ignorance is bliss, love. I felt it was Charlie's job to say something if he wanted to."

"I guess I can't really be mad at you. You're right." I agreed.

"I'm glad you see it my way."

"So I have a half brother. Who is..." I counted on my fingers, "about sixteen years old. I can't believe Charlie had sex with someone who wasn't my mother! That's sick! I can't wait to meet him though. I hope he comes back. I wonder why Charlie never told me? Oh God, I don't think I can look at him the same again after this!" I rambled.

"Honey, don't say anything. Just go back to looking at him as your father and don't associate with this kid. Your dad is still the guy he was yesterday." Edward rubbed my back. I looked at Emily. She was looking like she was about to go back to freak out mode.

"Edward, I'm staying with Emily in La Push until this is all over."

"No, you need to stay with us so we can look after you. You'll be protected at home with me." It was hard to deny that face.

"Embry and Seth are going to look after me at Emily's. If anything happens I'll call you right away on Emily's phone and you call me when you need to."

He grumbled and pulled out an iPhone. "I got you this. You stay in contact with me alright? I don't want to have to cross the treaty line." He threw a warning look at Emily. Emily and I cringed.

"Edward I don't know how to use this at all." I started running my fingers over the screen making it go crazy.

"Don't do that! Don't you dare break this. But, I would be amazed if you did. Here play ping pong." He laughed, pressed a few buttons and played with my hair while he showed me how to use it.

"We need to go. I'll call you once I figure out how to use this thing."

"Be careful. Take care of her." Edward told Emily as he kissed the top of my head.

"I...I will." She stuttered.


	20. Intruder

"Wow." Emily shook her head as we entered her house. She was silent the way back. I was sure she'd never been in the same room as a vampire.

"Wow what?" I asked tripping over the door frame trying to play iPhone bowling.

"Edward!" She spun around to me with wide eyes. "I can't believe how...human he is! Bella, he _is_ kind of beautiful! I can't believe I just said that! Sam can't know I said that!" She burst out laughing. "I've never been so scared in my life! I thought I was going to faint when we walked in and he was just standing there! He's such a gentleman and he can read my mind? It was so hard trying to not think about him while I was there. You know I didn't want to think about something embarrassing."

"So you see my indecision now between Jacob and Edward?" I smiled meekly.

"I can see it." She nodded her head.

"I don't know what is going to happen when Jacob comes home." I folded my hands and sat on the couch.

"Have you and Edward..." She finished the sentence with her eyes.

"I told Edward yesterday that I was going to stay with Jacob when he comes back." I responded immediately, avoiding a direct answer.

"Yeah?"

"But you see my indecision?" I asked again, making a point.

"Oh yeah!" Emily seemed completely enthralled by Edward. "But you are choosing Jacob...right?"

"Yes, but I'm going to tell him that I haven't exactly been faithful to him since he's been gone." I ran a hand through my hair.

"It's been two months! Don't be so hard on yourself. We all thought Jacob was dead! I wouldn't call it cheating per say…" Emily raced to make me feel better about the situation.

"Are you serious?! Everyone thought Jacob was dead? Was I the only one who didn't give up hope? Dear God!" I slumped down. Did I ever think Jacob was dead? All this time he was gone was I just in denial? Would the thought of death be too much for me to handle? Maybe somewhere inside me I believed he wasn't coming back, maybe that's why I ran back to Edward. Or maybe I am just a selfish little girl who wants both worlds.

_**Next Day**_

I was cramming at college for an exam when Angela slammed into me with her chair. "Seriously Bella this is weird! I haven't seen Mike, Jessica, Lauren or Tyler in like two weeks!" She took a bite of her apple and chewed like a chipmunk. Come to think of it I hadn't either.

"Mono?" I smiled pathetically.

"No, something strange is going on here. You know your dad has been at my dad's clinic everyday this week talking to Ms. Scottson about Riley's disappearance?"

"Oh yeah?" I let my book fall shut on the table.

"Riley is my dad's student assistant. He's been missing for a long time too. His mom is the receptionist there. I'm freaked out Bella!" She took another bite.

I sighed, "Riley Scottson..." I muttered to myself. That was my half brother's full name. "Maybe they all joined a cult somewhere out in the forest." I slapped on a fake smile and brought my book back up to my face. Angela was right...Jacob, Riley, Mike, Jessica, Lauren and Tyler were gone.

After I completed the exam I went outside to call Edward. I already had three text messages from him when I picked up my new phone.

1_. Love, Call me._

2. _Tell me how your exam went._

3. _Don't tell me you're still taking the test? You know you're going to ace it…Well maybe you don't know that but Alice said you did._

I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about passing _Western Civ_ now. I called Edward and relayed the information on from Angela. He agreed that this was completely out of the ordinary and possibly related to Jacob's disappearance but Alice hadn't seen anything unusual in her visions.

_**Jacob's POV**_

"I'm ready." I paced my cell.

"Good. Riley, let him out in five minutes." Victoria didn't even look at me as she stomped by in her heels. Her fashion sense was worse than the blonde bloodsucker back home.

"Are you sure?" Riley asked coolly. The human boy stood in front of me inspecting me over.

"Yes. He's ready. I'll get the others." She replied swinging the door open.

"The others?" I asked.

Victoria laughed, "You're going to love this surprise."

I stopped in my tracks. _Please don't let Bella be in the room next to me. Please don't let her be a vampire. _I would die right here in my cell if she brought my love out dead. I didn't want to see her all white with blood red eyes, one of the eternal damned. I stopped breathing for a moment.

"Don't worry. It isn't her." Riley reassured me. How did he know?

"You know Bella?" I asked.

"Yes. I've known her for a long time." He smiled.

I grabbed a hold of the steel bars that divided me from him. "How do you know her?" I demanded to know.

"I know her father better. But I've seen her around town a lot. She's friends with a mutual friend."

"Who?" I demanded.

"Angela."

"You're from Forks?" I had never seen this kid before. I thought I knew most of the students that were Bella's age at her high school.

"Humboldt." He snapped back.

"How the fuck did you get involved with this shit?" I screamed.

Victoria came in and interrupted us. "Hey shut the fuck up both of you! Jacob I'll fucking rip your head off if you say one more God damn word!" I let go of the bars and turned away from them. _Only a few more minutes, _I thought to myselfand _your_ head will be ripped off_. _

Riley and I stood silently staring at each other for the next few minutes. I could hear screaming and wailing coming from something not human on the other side of the door. Soon after Victoria came back to where we were and commanded Riley to let me out.

It all happened pretty quickly. Riley opened up the cell and with my eyes on the ground I walked slowly out. I could just taste freedom coming. I shuffled down the hall. Victoria was leaning against the door at the end of the hall and Riley was behind me. Once I was close enough to Victoria, I leaned up against the wall, clutched my bare stomach and groaned in pain. "What?" Her hands flew up in the air.

I rubbed my cheek with the palm of my hand and kneeled down, "I…I don't feel well. The room is spinning." I clutched my stomach again and gagged like I was about to throw up.

"You're joking right? After days and days of telling me you were ready to fight, to go home, you pull this shit on me?" She walked up to me. Inconspicuously I crouched into attack mode and groaned again. "Sorry! I haven't had the best diet or physical activity lately. I don't feel right! I'm sorry I'm going to have to rip your face off now!" I whipped my face up to hers and snarled. I phased at just the right time. The bloodsucker turned away to flee but I got my claws into her back before she could take the next step. She let out an inhuman bloodcurdling scream before I tore off her head. Her arms were flailing trying to grab a hold of the walls for balance. I took off the right arm then the left. As I was crunching down on her left shin I heard Riley running. I looked up just in time to see him go into the next room. Let him get the tranquilizers, I would be gone by the time he came back. Once Victoria was in various pieces I picked up her torso in my mouth and ran out the open waiting door for me. I picked up speed when the overwhelming vampire smell hit me. Loud screams and moans came from both sides of me as young vampires reached through their cells for me. I didn't look back at them when I crashed through the door leading upstairs. I ran up the stairs on all fours and broke through the wooden cellar door. As soon as my eyes hit the sunlight I fell over onto my side. I was blinded by the light. My eyes couldn't adjust fast enough. I've been without the sun for far too long. I took a moment to just breathe, dropping Victoria's torso on the grass and slowly opening up my eyes. What I saw when I opened them was a surprise. My pack, with Sam the closest to me stood before me. I realized then that I was hearing and seeing everything my pack envisioned and vice versa. I thought I was just hallucinating.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yes." I stood up and started to run. The pack started to follow until Sam commanded everyone besides Paul down to the cellar.

"Where am I?" I screamed at Paul who was following me. "El Paso, Texas. Where are you going?"

"Home to Bella." I said and sprinted faster, "Let Sam start the fire and then get everyone out! There are at least thirty newborn vampires in cells downstairs!" I yelled back to Paul. He froze and spun around quickly to go catch up with Sam.

I was running for about an hour when heard the pack catching up to me. I didn't stop once on the way home. I made them communicate with me while we ran.

"We left the newborns for the Texas pack." Sam caught up with me.

"Texas pack?" I asked not stopping.

"They are the ones that found you. They can take care of their own land. They have seen many wars in their time. It's amazing."

I really didn't care about Texas werewolf history right now and Sam immediately picked up on that.

"We need to talk before we get home." He said.

"Is Bella alright?" I didn't want to listen to him.

"Yes, she's fine. She is staying with Emily at our house. Jacob what happened? How did you get to Texas?"

I felt my heart inflate with joy after hearing this, after seeing Bella in Sam's visions. "I don't know. All I remember is waking up in the cell. A human boy fed me shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Victoria had a plan. She put together a newborn league of fangers and recruited me to help them take out the Cullen's. After two weeks I convinced her that I wanted to help her. Today we were all supposed to do the deed. She let me out and I ripped her apart. Sam, I just want to go home."

Sam wanted to protest but refrained from it. "Jacob, we didn't see a human in the underground."

I shrugged it off, thinking nothing of Riley. I didn't want to think of the idea of killing a human being but I couldn't shake the thought of taking a snap out of Riley if he had stayed down there. "He must have fled. He ran off when I was chewing on the leech."

All I could think of now was in just a few hours I would be home with Bella.


	21. Brother

**First version of this chapter was completely erased by a "Don't Send Report" this is shaky, but I was so pumped on updating I wanted to share it quick! Almost 100 reviews, so please keep reviewing so I get more drive to update faster!**

Emily and I were both becoming more impatient as the long hand on the clock ticked by. It was four in the evening and we hadn't heard from Sam since the night before. Were our boys alive?

With all the worry about Jacob on my mind I had a nagging Edward on my cell phone. He was calling and texting all throughout the day. I know it must be hard for him to find something to do at all times since he didn't sleep but it was getting ridiculous.

Edward 4:02P.M. _Hey I still have an application for Evergreen College. Have you given anymore thought about the school? I read they let you choose your own grade and create your own major. You might enjoy that. But it may be a little hipster._

I huffed and tossed my cell phone beside me. Why would I want to think about college at a time like this? Was Edward trying to sway my mind into another direction?

Bella 4:05P.M. _Hmm, sounds interesting. I thought about becoming Devendra Banhart's number one fan and getting me a pair of non-prescription glasses and TOMS shoes so maybe it's my calling._

Edward 4:08P.M_. Nevermind, I don't want you to start wearing patchouli oil and dreading your hair. I also dislike Johanna and Paul Newsom. Have you heard anything yet?_

Bella 4:09P.M. _Ha. No. My phone's dying can't text anymore. Bye._

Edward 4:09 ½ P.M. _Did you forget your charger? I can meet you somewhere and give you a spare one I have._

You've got to be kidding me.

Bella 4:12PM._ No electrical outlet that's working is in the other room._

Edward 4:13P.M. _Alright, I'll call you in a few hours._

Fabulous.

Just then the two wolves outside started howling. Emily and I ran out the door and stood at the edge of the porch as we watched the two wolves take off into the tree lines. She dropped her tea and grabbed my hand. We heard whining in a distance and more howls that I didn't recognize.

I jumped off the porch and Emily screamed. She grabbed the back of my shirt to keep me from running into the forest. "What if they're hurt?" I screeched at her. "I can't just not do anything!"

"No, stay here! We have to stay here. Maybe we should go inside." Her eyes were wide as she kept staring at the deep forest.

"No I'm not going anywhere. He's back." Realization hit me when I heard another howl. _That _one I recognized. That was the howl coming from outside my window every night Jake and I were apart when he first became a wolf. "Jake!" I screamed and ran towards the trees.

As I was running I could hear something come towards me crashing through the brush and leaves. "Jake!" I called out and there he was. Not in human form but he was there. I knew it was him even though I had only seen him in this form just a few times before. The Jacob wolf started whimpering and whining and pacing back and forth staring back at me. I reached out my hand towards him and noticed I was shaking violently. Jacob sat on all fours as I put a hand on top of his head. Then Sam appeared out of the woods in human form following the rest of the pack…also in human form. Sam looked at me and sighed then ran off to Emily. "What's going on?" I shrieked at the rest of them.

Embry stopped next to Jacob. "He won't change. Something happened and he won't change back to human form. He tried for about fifteen minutes back there with the rest of us" and he pointed behind him into the green, "but he wouldn't change. Sam went back into wolf form and Jacob said it might be the drugs that are in his system that won't let him change back. He changed into wolf form earlier today and didn't even try to change back to human. Sorry, Bella." Embry shrugged his bare shoulders.

"What drugs?" I felt my heart drop.

"Someone drugged him with tranquilizers since he's been gone. He also has had a poor diet. We're going to try feeding him a lot of nutritious foods tonight and see if that helps." Sam appeared with Emily in hand next to me. Emily was all smiles. Now I was alone in this one. No one was going to relate to how I felt about my boyfriend being stuck as a wolf. I looked Jacob over again as he whined, he did look extremely scrawny.

"How about a steak?" I smiled meekly. I didn't know how to talk to Jacob as a wolf.

"Bella, it's starting to rain. It's freezing. We should go in and make some food for the boys and let them handle Jacob." Emily suggested.

How could she say such idiotic words? Of course I wasn't going inside. "I'll get my coat. I'm staying out here until he changes."

"Bella, he'll be fine." I gave Emily a dirty look and she turned away and went in the house. The boys followed, they were starving.

It was just me and my wolf now. "Let's sit on the porch." I suggested nervously. He could understand me I guess because he followed me to the house. I tucked my knees under my chin and we sat and stared at each other. "I don't know how to talk to you like this. I'm sorry." I motioned with my eyes to what I was talking about.

His tongue lolled to the side and he gave a sharp bark. A laugh perhaps? "I miss you." I confessed. I guess I could start with how I've been feeling since he left. "I'm sorry too. I wish I could have come with. I guess I need to talk to the guys to see what all happened but I don't want to right now. I just want to be like this right now. You know I can see the similarities to boy Jacob and wolf Jacob. You're eyes seem the same." Those eyes blinked a few times and he came closer to me and curled up next to me. I pulled my hand through his ruff. It was dirty. I guess he hadn't showered in a while. "You aren't injured are you? You aren't hurt, right?" I inspected his fur. I didn't see any visible wounds. I heard him sigh and drop his head a little. He still stared up at me. Maybe he liked his ears rubbed? My aunt's dog always liked that. I found out soon enough he did. He let out some sort of sound that confirmed this and his eye lids drifted open and shut.

We stayed like that until the sun was hardly visible anymore. I was shaking now from the cold. The door swung open and I jumped up frightened from the noise that broke the stillness of the evening.

"Dinner time." Sam smiled at me and Jacob as he made his way out with a tray of steaks and other assorted meats. Jacob lopped onto all fours.

"I'm going to get my coat." I told the Jacob wolf and went inside. I heard my phone beeping from the other room. I had four missed calls from Edward. Six unread messages from Edward and one new message from Alice.

Alice 8:03P.M. _Bella, call me immediately. Something has happened. Someone is heading this direction. BTW I think Jacob's back I don't see you. Please don't be dead. Call my brother he's about to break to the treaty line._

I tore the charger out of the phone and dialed Edward's number. Of course he answered on the first ring. "Bella, where have you been?"

"Hey I'm fine..." I paced in front of the living room window. I jumped back and screamed as a wolf popped up in front of the glass, his front paws hitting the glass. The Jacob wolf let out a quick bark.

"Bella?!" Edward screamed on the other end.

"It was just Jacob. It's nothing." I quickly responded.

His end went silent. I took a deep breath and stared at the wolf in front of me. "Jacob's back. Everyone is back, I think they're all okay."

"Congratulations then...I guess." And the phone went dead. I immediately felt regret telling him that way. He didn't deserve finding out like this. I stifled a tear and threw my phone down. The wolf staring at me let out another bark and cocked his head to the side.


	22. Cell Phones

I busted out the front door, "I need to go see Edward!" I stated to Sam as he was throwing pieces of steak to my boyfriend who was catching them in his mouth. It looked like a game to him. But that all ended when I said Edward's name. Sam stopped and glared me down and Jacob-Wolf looked past me, a low growl escaping his throat.

Sam threw the plate on the ground and walked over to me. "Jacob just got home Bella! Just because he isn't in human form doesn't mean he isn't Jacob! You're not worried that he won't phase back? Do you not even care to hear what happened to him? He ripped Victoria's head off! We found him carrying her torso in his mouth going home to you! He killed the leech that was going to kill you! What is wrong with you?"

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't thinking about going to see Edward as a way of ditching my dog of a boyfriend (more literal than figurative). My mind was still stuck on my impending doom and how to fix it. I was still in danger-strategy mode and I was being selfish not even thinking about what Jacob had gone through and done for both of us. There was no danger now since Victoria is in shreds, right? I do have my boyfriend back even though it's taking some time to get him back into human form, that's what's supposed to matter. Then, why am I running back to Edward because he hung up on me? I needed a reality check, that's for sure but why was I feeling like I wanted to rip Sam's head off? I checked back into the _now_ and realized I was sitting on the porch step sobbing. Emily was doing her best to comfort me, my wolf was sitting in front of me with his head down whining and Sam was pacing the yard with his arms crossed. "Why am I such a piece of shit?" I gurgled out through snot and tears.

Jacob-Wolf barked in an unhappy way. "Bella, you're not a piece of... Sam apologize now!" Emily screamed at him as she wrapped her arms around me. Sam threw his arms up in the air and stared at her then obliged. "Sorry Bella but what is going on? You're a frantic mess even though were back and no one's hurt."

I sniffled some more and choked on a few tears before answering. Answering truthfully, "I just got a message from Alice and she saw someone or something coming to Forks. Since you guys were back and she can't see you it would have to be someone we don't know. I just jumped to awful conclusions. I'm permanently in freak out mode since Victoria smashed my windows and door!" I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve. Jacob-Wolf snarled. He definitely understood what I said.

"She should go Sam. What if something went wrong?" Emily asked.

Sam nodded his head and stood in front of us. "The Texas pack took care of the newborns I'm sure. To be safe, take Jacob with you when you go."

My mouth dropped open, "What?"

"Have you never ridden a wolf before?" Sam and Jacob laughed in their own ways.

"No?" I whispered eyeing Jacob. He got up and stood in front of me.

"Hop on." Sam said smirking. I wiped my eyes one more time and stood up. I was surprised I was still shaking. I petted Jacob's head and threw one leg over him and sat down.

"Whoa!" I screeched as he backed up a little. I was leaned over with a death grip on his neck.

Emily and Sam busted out laughing. "Go ahead! Just have a good grip on him."

"Oh okay." I mumbled as Jacob started walking into the woods. "Is it too much to ask to go to the Cullen's home?" I asked him. He sighed and took off in the direction of the house. The speed was match able to Edward's except riding on the back of Jacob wolf was like riding a horse. In just a matter of minutes we reached Edward's. He was standing outside waiting for us with a pained look crossing his face. I guess he heard me screaming in terror as Jacob dodged branches and leaped fallen logs. He stopped in the front yard. I climbed off and fell on my butt. I laughed at myself Jacob barked and licked my face then stood frozen still as Edward made our way to us in human speed. I felt my stomach knot up as I giggled and wiped my face.

I scrambled to my feet and brushed myself off. "Bella, Jacob." Edward greeted us sternly.

"Hi." I mumbled looking away.

"Why is he a wolf still?" Edward eyed Jacob.

"He can't phase back. Someone drugged him and we're hoping once they pass through his system..."

Bella..." Edward's eyes were wide, staring at Jacob.

"What?"

"Jacob, what was the boy's name?" Edward asked.

"Oh...Not good." He said.

"What?" I screamed at both of them.

"It was Riley that drugged him. Victoria was using Riley as her pet guinea pig."

Jacob growled either at either the mention of Victoria or because Edward was reading his thoughts. I gasped. "It's all connected. But Victoria's dead, Edward. Jacob killed her!" I tried to think positive.

"But we don't know what happened to Riley." Edward said, eyes not leaving Jacob. Alice appeared suddenly next to Edward. "Someone is coming here but I can't see who it is. I just see where they are. Just familiar locations. This is driving me crazy! Oh hi Jacob. I'm glad to see you're not dead. Bella missed you." She smiled at him. Edward glared at Alice. I was shocked at what she just said. At least someone told Jake that I valued him.

The other missing students from Forks popped into my mind just then. "Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Lauren." I said each name slowly to all of them.

Realization hit Alice, "It's possible." She whispered.

Edward stared at Jacob like they were having a mental discussion. "There are newborns that were in the same building. Riley got away. There are more than ten...twenty? Really? I don't think a pack that small could take out all of them. We need to be prepared. Riley's from this area he knows his way around and if he was that committed to Victoria it's possible he would do something stupid with the newborns."

"We need to fight together." Alice said to Jacob. The look on her face made it known that he would probably disagree.

"No, it's perfect. It's the only way we know that none of us will get hurt in the process."

I gasped again, "My friends are vampires? Do you think Jess and Mike are vampires? That's why they are missing?"

"Don't think the worst yet Bella. We don't know. It could be someone else." Edward reassured me. But why would my friends disappear one by one for no reason and without telling their parents? There was no other answer.

We stood in the front yard for another half an hour discussing strategy and figuring out what was coming at us. Was it even trouble? We weren't for sure Edward communicated for Jacob. I wanted Edward to talk for him so I could know, in human words, what he was thinking. I wanted to hear Jacob talking to me but I knew that would be too much to ask of Edward. I shivered from the dropping temperatures and from the thought of not knowing what was coming at us. "Let's get you inside." Edward insisted taking my hand.

Jacob growled at him, I hung my head low and Edward dropped my hand. "I'm fine." I lied, I was freezing.

Alice chimed in, "Bella, will you stay here with me tonight so we can all keep an eye on you. I don't like not being able to see when you are in La Push. A snarl ripped out of Jacob and Edward spoke up. "Jacob, you're welcome to sleep outside here. I think it is in the best interest of Bella's safety and our ability to see what is going on..." Jacob growled again.

"I want to stay with Jacob." I really did.

"I said he could sleep outside, just far enough where Alice can see."

"He'll get cold." I sat down next to Jacob and pulled my hand through his fur. He sniffed my face and leaned his head against me. It was getting easier for me to be with him as a wolf.

Edward rolled his eyes, "No he won't. Jacob, will you please stay here tonight?" Edward gritted through his teeth. There was a pause and then Edward answered again, "Thank you Jacob. Now, we need to get you inside." Edward looked to me. I looked to Jacob. He huffed and nudged me with his nose to let me go ahead.

"I'll come check on you after while." I scratched his head and followed Alice and Edward into the house.

Edward flew up the stairs and was back down in an instant but in the time he was gone my teenage emotions chimed in and I was ready to fight. "Why did you hang up on me?"

He stepped up to me and put his hand in mine. I let him. "I didn't. I thought you hung up on me?"

"No. You hung up on me. You said congratulations and hung up like you were angry. You were being immature" Was he lying to me?

He had both of my hands and his brooding eyes gazed into mine. "I thought you were upset by how I acted. I thought you hung up on me. I'm sorry I said what I said the way I did." He took a deep breath, "Bella, I am happy that you are happy. You are happy right?"

"Yes because Jacob's back."

He smiled genuinely, "Then, I am happy that Jacob's back." With my hand still in his he towed me up the stairs.

I didn't know where he was taking me. "Hey, we need to talk about things now since Jacob is back and what I should do with who is coming." His grasp tightened on my hand a little as we made our way to his room. He spun around and looked at me.

"You are not going to have any part in this, silly girl. I wouldn't put you in direct danger like that."

"Well let's start with Jacob then." I insisted. He swallowed hard and his face tightened. I went over and sat on the bed. He followed. He didn't say anything, his eyes just board into mine.

This time _I _swallowed hard. I hated how he could have that effect on me. "I'm going to have to tell Jake what happened between us. You know that right? I'm going to tell him everything we did. I'm going to tell him about my feelings for you..."

"Your feelings for me?" Edward asked.

"You_ know_. I've told you. I tried to bury how I felt about you since you came back but they've been there...this whole time"

"Yes, the feelings are still there." Edward kissed the back of my hand.

I paused and caressed the spot where he kissed. "Well...yes. But, Edward, Jacob _has_ me. He has parts of me that you haven't even touched."

For a split second he looked devastated but it quickly turned to reserve. "I know." He whispered. "He's ready for that part. He's ready to fight for you…to win you back if he has to. He's also ready to pull that ring out of his sock drawer."

"What? You were reading into him that much?" I was shocked.

"It's not like I wanted to. The thoughts were just there." He insisted.

"Maybe he was just putting on a show for you."

"Maybe he wasn't." He shrugged.

"What do I do?" I looked down. I couldn't marry Jacob now.

"Say no."

"Obviously! I'm not old enough! I am not wife material." I snorted. "I still have to figure out my feelings, who I am..."

"All the more reason to not continue where you two left off before he left."

"Kidnapped." I corrected him.

"Dognapped." He retorted back.

"Not nice." I smacked his hand and gave him a warning look.

"You shouldn't jump back to where you were before what just happened. You have more on your plate now. You know exactly what you have to choose between now."

"Edward, don't tell me what to do. You are completely biased." But I could see in many ways how he could be right about this.

"I know." He smiled. "I had to try. Bella, I'm sorry I said you had to choose. You don't have to. That's ridiculous of me to even say. I love you and I'm the first one to tell you I'm not good for you. I would rather you have a human than me or a dog. I want what is best for you, what makes you happy...I'm too selfish most of the time to say it...But it's true. Whatever it is that makes you complete." He kissed my forehead.

Everything he was saying was making me feel worse than better but I promised myself I wouldn't burst into tears.

"Okay." I whispered back trying to hide my shaky voice.

"Let's not worry about things right now." He rubbed my shoulders and got up. "Esme has Chinese food downstairs for you. Are you hungry?"

I thought I smelled something unordinary in a vampire's home. I realized _then _I was hungry. "Yeah, actually. How much is there?" I was calculating in my mind.

"I think plenty. I mean…We can get more if you are still hungry." He was looking at me weird.

"No, I was just thinking about Jake. He might want my leftovers." Edward huffed and rolled his eyes at me.

After I ate I put on my coat and went outside to Jacob. He was laying in the tree line in the front yard. I sat down and leaned into his fur. I sat silently for a minute reviewing some of the things Sam told me earlier today. He mentioned that Jacob phased before and was able to phase back. I wondered why. "Do you think if I put myself in danger you would have some sort of adrenaline rush and phase back to save me? Maybe that would work." I thought out loud. "We could act like Alice is going to surk mah bloooooorrrddd." I made a sucking noise and laughed at my accent. Jacob didn't like that idea. A low grumble came from deep in his throat. "Okay, okay. Just a suggestion."

I yawned and rubbed my hands together to keep them warm. Jacob noticed and nudged me with his nose and looked towards the house. "Yeah, I am tired but I don't want to leave you here alone, it doesn't seem quite fair. You need to sleep in your own bed. You haven't been in one in almost two months. Oh by the way I need to tell you something. I mean there is a lot to tell between us but this is one thing I would rather tell you while you are in this form." I waved my hands at his fur. He cocked his head to the side. I was beaming red now. "But I don't know if now is the right time to tell you because you can't communicate back to me. That's kind of why I want to do this. I mean someone is going to tell you..." I sat in front of him now with a big smile on my face. He was grumbling for some reason. Now that time had passed and Jacob was back the _scene_ in his room almost two months ago was almost laughable now…almost. I wanted to leave out certain parts that would make him feel bad. "I went over to your house one day a few months a go…While you were away…" Why was I telling him this? Oh yeah cause I was too embarrassed to tell him in person. "The night after we…_You know_…" Implication was heavy on the last two words. I smiled slightly tucked my hair behind my ears. Jacob let out a warm throaty rumble...he remembered. "All the guys were standing around your bed and they were really worried about me and I didn't understand why. They were all staring down at the bed at something. Well, they saw blood and they thought there was a fight or you phased in your bedroom and accidentally hurt me. I didn't want to say anything but then they saw my bra and underwear lying around and I got really embarrassed. Then I started crying and Sam making me to tell him what happened and your dad was there. So I had to tell them that we...did it...for the first time. So if you were wondering if your dad knows that were not virgins anymore, he does. Charlie doesn't, thank God! But it was pretty much the most humiliating and embarrassing moment I ever encountered." I shook my head and put a hand over my face. I heard Jacob get up. Then I felt him place his head on my shoulder and lean into me. I wrapped my arms around his large neck and laughed. His internal rumble of contentment was constant and comforting.

He backed away and let out a sharp bark and his tongue lolled to the side. I stood up and he walked with me to the door. He ran around me in circles when we were reaching my destination and he hopped up on his hind legs barking. I was bent over laughing hysterically. He was like a circus dog. But his act reminded me of the leftovers I had for him. "Just a second! I have something for you!" I raced into the house. Edward was standing in the living room waiting for me. I ran passed him and got the food from the table and went back outside without saying anything to Edward. "Do you eat the same things when you're a wolf?" My eyes tightened waiting for his response. He barked once and nodded once. What a smart wolf. "Good, these are my leftovers you can have. Can I feed you like Sam did today? It looked like you had fun." He paced around in circles and sat on his hind legs. I guess that was a yes. I stabbed a piece of chicken with my chop stick and flung it at him. He caught it in his mouth. "Good dog!" I said in a baby voice. Jacob stopped chomping and his eyes told me I shouldn't have said that. I heard a laugh come from inside the house. Edward. Jacob looked passed me and started walking away from me. "What are you doing? Don't be mad! I'm sorry! I was having fun! Fine, here." I shook out the container onto the plate and put it on the porch for him. He started walking towards me again with his ears down. "I'm going to go in now. I'll see you in the morning. Just bark a lot if you need someone I guess. They don't sleep, of course, so they'll hear you." I huffed. "Maybe tomorrow things will get better. Maybe whatever is in your system will pass." Maybe I'll wake up to my Jacob. He started eating off the plate and I opened the door. He looked up and whined. "Goodnight." I said sadly and shut the door behind me.

"He doesn't need a plate!" Edward said in a smart ass attitude.

"Neither do you!" I chimed back and retreated to his room.


	23. Dognapped

**_Read and Review, I apologize for the wait._**

When I slept that night in Edward's bed I dreamed of Jacob. I woke up knowing he would be in human form waiting for me downstairs. My eyes flew open when I made this realization in my dream. Edward was standing by the window staring at me. "Oh shit!" I flinched and caught my breath. "Sorry." He smiled a little but his face was still solemn. I didn't have time to ask what was wrong because all I could focus on was Jacob. I uncovered myself and stumbled out of bed and out of the room. "What are you doing?" I could tell Edward was following close behind.

"Mmmm" Is all I said while I barreled down the stairs, I was wanting to ignore him. The Cullen's were scattered about the kitchen, I could smell food cooking. It took me a few tries to open their huge front door. Once I succeeded I ran out onto the porch, "Jacob!" I called. The cold wind hit me then and I realized I was under dressed, still in my sleep shorts and shirt. Where was he? In my dream he was standing on the porch waiting for me, I was also wearing a dress as I ran to his awaiting arms, thank goodness the dream wasn't all the way true. "Jacob!" I yelled again.

Galloping out of the tree line was an over sized Jacob-wolf. I sighed, my heart sank down to my butt. Jacob-wolf walked right up to me and wagged his tail. "Hi." I sighed and petted him, trying to hide my disappointment. His cold nose bumped my thigh, his eyes looking me up and down. I quickly tried to cover up my exposed thighs the best I could. "Jake!" I smiled at his gesture, "Your a wolf. You should like other wolves." I giggled, he bumped his nose against my shorts and sniffed my hip. "Oh God Jake! That's so wrong!" He barked and his tongue lolled to the side. "Did you change back at all last night?" He sighed and looked down. I took that as a 'no'. His head whipped to the side and growled.

I looked over and Edward was standing by the open door. "Bella, we don't have much time. Alice saw them getting closer and Sam was visited by some of the Texas pack. They didn't get all of the newborns and someone is leading them this way..."I couldn't comprehend what he was saying after that. I could only feel the side of my face laying against the cold porch and a paw in front of my face and a non-human tongue licking at my hair.

I was brought inside by means that, I could tell, pissed off Jacob. I was on the living room couch now facing the fireplace. I only saw the fireplace actually going once before. I stared at the flames until they were just a blur.

I wasn't going to let the people I love get hurt by these newborns. I was going to go with them, I was going to help. I'm tired of staying back. There has to be some way I could help I snapped to when the smell of breakfast permeated my senses. "I'm ready. Let's go." I stated looking around at the vampires surrounding me.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked. He sat down and wrapped his arm around me.

"I'm going with you to fight." I said again.

"No your not!" Edwards face seemed paper white just then. He gritted through his teeth and look more vampire than human in an instant.

Edward and I argued the rest of the day as he, his family, Jake and Sam, in wolf form, talked attack strategies. I was to stay at the Cullen's home as the younger wolves looked after me there. I told Edward and Jacob I didn't want them going, my heart wouldn't handle it if either of them got injured or killed in the process, I shuddered at the thought. They were going. Jacob because he wanted to kill all vampires that were involved with his kidnapping and Edward because he wanted anyone associated with the vampire who stalked me destroyed. No matter what Edward said I was going and I was happy that Alice's visions were blinded by Jacob, giving me room to think through my own plan. It was nearing dusk and the pack howled in the distance. It was Sam and Jacob cue to head home and prepare for a near coming war.

"Jake wait! I want to talk to you before you go...alone." I crossed my arms and looked around the porch at everyone. I was trying to make myself look uncomfortable and nervous. I looked at the Cullen's, Edward nodded his head at Jacob. Sam was already gone but Jacob started trotting off towards the woods and I followed. We got into the thick green and he stopped. I leaned over and whispered, "Out of reach of Edward's ears." Jacob stood on all fours and circled around me and motioned his head back a few times. "You want me to ride you like a horse?" I asked. Jacob yapped.

"Fine." I grumbled, not something I wanted to remember when I would be intimate with my boyfriend in human form. _Oh what did you do last night? Oh just rode my boyfriend through the woods_...

I got on and we sped deeper into the tree line. I jumped off when he stopped and sat down immediately hoping that would make my head stop spinning. "I'm not staying at the Cullen's Jacob. I want to be with you during this. I thought I lost you once and I don't want you to take anymore chances to make that a reality. I wouldn't forgive myself for inadvertently killing you._ I _wouldn't survive_ that!_" Jacob grumbled and shook his head.

"I've thought about this some already. At seven o'clock I'm going to take my truck up north towards where the battle is supposed to take place or you can come get me and we can go together or I can have Seth and Quill take me. I have three options which one do you like best?" Jacob grumbled again and lay his head on his paws looking up at me. Precious..."Cute, this is true but those eyes are not going to stop me from going. I'll just drive myself if Sam gives orders to Seth and Quill..." More howling started up in the distance. Jacob looked away and whined and looked back and forth to me and the dark distance. I sighed, stood up and got on his back to take me back to the Cullen's. "Don't think about this around Edward, he'll know everything and ruin it." I hissed as he ran towards the house. He slowed once we reached and trotted right up the to porch and bending down to let me off.

Edward immediately began huffing and pacing the porch with his arms crossed. Jacob must have let it slip. I was waiting for the yelling to start. Then Edward ran in the house and I heard many muffled curse words come from inside and then he marched back out still looking perturbed at Jacob. "You're going to _stay_? Really? After all of this? After all the strategizing and ugh! Fine, stay. That's great!" Edward's arms flew up in air and he shook his head and went back inside.

"You're staying?" I exclaimed to Jacob. He nodded sadly.

"Thank you!" I whispered in his ear as I hugged his neck.

Jacob left for a while to tell the pack he wasn't going. I knew I was being selfish by being so happy that he was staying. I should let him have his revenge and help his pack but I didn't want the possibility of losing him again. Edward hovered around the living room where I sat and watched the fire with a blank stare.

"What's wrong?" He finally asked after minutes of pacing behind me.

My eyes flickered to him. "Just thinking."

"You know my next question then."

"I'm thinking about right and wrong. Will you promise to be careful?" I asked.

He sat and looked at me for a long moment, "Yes, of course." He spoke quietly, his eyes transfixed on mine.

Jacob was back along with the two smaller wolves flanking on both sides. The Cullen's were saying their goodbyes to us and Edward pulled me away from wolves to the side of the house. "I'm going to fix what I did wrong, what I put upon you. I'm going to make this go away, Bella. But I will never forgive myself for putting this onto you. I'll never forgive myself for leaving you under false pretenses. I'm sorry...for everything." Edward choked up on the last words. I looked down at the ground. Why was he still lamenting on the same things? He brushed his cold hand against my jaw and placed his hand on the back of my neck and brought his lips to my forehead for a kiss. His other arm wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry." He whispered again between kisses. I didn't say anything just put my hands on his chest, not to push away, I tucked my head into his neck. He inhaled my scent and sighed.

"Don't get hurt. Don't go." I whispered.

"If you had it your way none of us would go. I'll be fine. It'll be over before you know it. There can't be many left." He said lightly. He let go of me and pulled away, "Jacob is getting angry, he's thinking about coming over here to see what I'm doing to you." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes, "Let's go."

As Alice and Edward were leaving Alice turned back to me and stared at me for a moment, "Don't!" She warned. Edward spun around to look at me and his face went blank and then filled with anger. "Bella? Alice? What is it? What..." Alice took a hold of his arm and steered him away from us. How did she know what I was thinking? "No Alice stop with the songs! What did you see?" He yelled at her. His head spun back to look at me and then to glare at Jacob. "Alice tell me!" He gritted through his teeth.

They disappeared into the woods, I still heard Edward arguing with Alice.

I turned around to the three wolves. "Okay so what do you guys want to do?" I scuffed my feet. All three wolves whined and sat down. "Fine I'm sorry you guys can't be out there too! But I'll let you in the house? How about that? It's warm in there and there is food...,maybe...somewhere." I opened the door and went in, the three wolves followed.

I wasn't sure why Quill and Seth wouldn't be human around me, maybe it was because they were in unchartered vampire territory. I was throwing cheese slices at Jacob when simultaneously all three pairs of ears perked up and their heads turned to the window. The cheese slice smacked the side of Jacob's head and slid to the ground. "What is it?" The dogs flew out the door and stood in the yard howling. All three started running for the woods but Jacob stopped and ran back to me. He motioned for me to jump on. "Where are we going? Is someone coming here?" He barked at me and shook his head. "Are we going to the fight? Oh my God I get to go? Thank you!" I screamed, jumped onto Jacob's back and hung on for dear life as we flew towards the hills.

We were there in just a matter of minutes. I thought we would stop once we reached Carlisle's car but we kept going deep into the woods. Two wolves flanked the sides of us suddenly and I started to smell incense burning. We were going through a purple cloud and then I saw a vampire jump out in front of us. One of the wolves leaped into the air, the vampire was going for its throat but the wolf got his head in his mouth before it happened. I heard a crunch and a high pitch squeal. I screamed and Jacob stopped. I couldn't keep my eyes off of the two wolves tearing apart the vampire in front of me. It was still moving as they tore off its limbs. I fell off of Jacob when he started to take off again. The forest felt like it was spinning and I was shaking uncontrollably. I looked to the side of me and saw a pair of eyes staring back. It was a familiar face that was missing the rest of its body. It mouthed my name to me since it was missing it's larynx. It was Mike. "Jacob" I whimpered when realization hit. "That's Mike. We, we need to make them stop cause it's just Mike. Jacob!" I screamed his name. His cold nose pressed against my cheek. I scrambled to my feet and the eyes kept staring at me. "No!" I screamed. I backed up into Jacob. He licked my hand and bent down for me to get on. We retreated back the way we came and I jumped off once we reached Carlisle's car.

"I'm just going to stay in here" I mumbled. I opened the drivers side door and debated to get in or not. I wasn't sure if I was going to start throwing up. Jacob growled and that's when I saw the beautiful creature standing off in the distance. It was Lauren. She was also a vampire. My missing friends were vampires. My fear subsided and I was now filled with anger. Hate for the creature in front of me and madness that my only human friends were now gone. I jumped into the car, put my seatbelt on, locked the door and revved the engine. I was absolutely sure of what I was about to do. I raced towards the wolf and vampire. Jacob jumped out of the way just in time like I knew he would do. "Die bitch!" I screamed to myself as I slammed down on the gas and smashed into Lauren and then the tree. The impact of both sent the air bags into my face. When they deflated I looked up and the vampire was gone. I opened the car door and stepped out. There was a pile of hair and body parts by the tree. I backed up against the car and took a deep breath in. I closed my eyes tight and then opened them again to affirm what I saw in front of me. When I opened my eyes the pile of my ex-enemy's body parts were still there squirming around but that wasn't all. Jacob was also standing there, very human and very naked, dropping some burning brush on the hair and skin pile. I felt my knees buckle and something incoherent spilled from my lips. He ran over to me "Bella!" He sighed as he brought me into his arms, "It's okay, she's gone" he comforted. He stroked my hair and my back over and over again as I cried into his chest. My arms constricted around his neck feeling his hot skin against my fingers. I heard him sniffle and wipe his face with the back of his hand. I didn't realize he was crying too. We stayed like that for I don't know how long. It felt like home, right there being in his arms with a vampire burning in the background.

He pulled me back a little and brought my face up to his, studying my reaction."You're not hurt!" I choked out a nervous laugh. I wasn't adjusted to my human Jacob. I took in his bare chest, his shoulders, neck and then finally his face. His cheeks were sparkling and his eyes were bloodshot from crying, "Bella" He whispered again, his warm hands cupped my face securing my eyes to his. His full lips took mine in just then and I tightened my grip and pulled myself closer into him. Oh, how I missed those lips! I deepened the kiss, his hands found my bottom and hoisted me up against the car. "I never thought this day would come!" He confessed as he kissed my forehead, my cheek and then my lips again. "What happened? How did you turn back?" My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn't catch my breath.

"I think the exact phasing process happened with the impact of the car hitting the tree. Bella, what were you thinking?" His eyes were wide, almost mad.

"I was saving you!" I spit out.

"_You_ could have been hurt! Not me. Thank God you were only going ten miles an hour!"

"You mean I didn't hurt Lauren?" I was instantly sad I didn't do any damage and was disappointed with my speed.

"Well you pinned her against the tree long enough for me to dismember her. That wasn't a well thought through plan Bella. You scared the shit out of me."

"At least it worked though." I smiled meekly.

He chuckled, his teeth gleaming in the light, "True but irrational." Oh, how I missed that smile!

I turned my head a little to the side and planted a sweet kiss on his moist lips. He stiffened his stance and loosened his grip on me. His eyes were tight, glaring. I looked in his direction and saw a guy about my age, snow white, shaggy dark brown hair to his chin, eyes blood red. He was dressed in all black. "Riley!" Jacob gritted through his teeth. He put me behind him with a hand on mine. "Why did you do this to yourself?" Jacob sounded disgusted.

"Why not? I mean I think I wear vampire pretty well." He smirked and stuffed his hands in his pockets, shrugging. Riley, my brother was one of the most beautiful creatures next in line after Jacob and Edward. I peeked over Jacob's shoulder to get a better look. He stood as still as a statue looking back at me.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you." Riley greeted me with a sincere smile.

"You, you know who I am?" I stuttered, shocked.

"Bell!" Jacob cautioned me.

"Of course." Riley laughed, his blinding white teeth sparkled.

Jacob's grip on me tightened and a low growl escaped from his throat. P_lease don't turn back into a wolf now!_ "Riley it would be in your best interest to get the hell out of here!"

"Actually, I was thinking about staying around for a while. Things seem pretty interesting around here."

"It's your throat!" Jacob said letting go of my hand and stalking towards Riley.

"Dad has been looking for you!" I yelped out. I wanted to keep conversing with this new magnificent creature and I didn't want him to disappear. I had too many questions for him even though I knew it was dangerous to be in the radius of a newborn vampire.

Riley's eyes widened and a huge smile broke across his face. Jacob looked between the two of us. "Would you like to do the honors Bella, or should I?" Riley asked taking a step forward. His eyes were like a magnet to me. I was sort of aware that I was drifting closer to him. Jacob caught my waist and pulled me to him.

"Bella, what are you doing? Can you hear me? What's wrong with your eyes? Riley what did you do to her?!" I was aware there were words coming out of Jacob's mouth but I couldn't make out what they were.

"It's okay, tell him who _we _are." How Riley said it made it feel like we were a team, like we were a part of something.

My words were automatic in response to Riley's consent. "My dad, Charlie, he had a relationship with Riley's mom after Renee and him divorced and a few years a go Charlie found out Riley's mom had his baby and this is my brother. Riley's my brother Jacob. He's my younger brother, he's my family we can't hurt family Jacob." Were the words coming out of my mouth even _mine_? As long as my eyes were transfixed on Riley's I could say anything.

"No, no! That's bullshit! Where did you hear that Bella?" Jacob shook my shoulder but I still leaned towards Riley wanting to be close to him.

"Charlie and Billy." I responded without looking at Jacob. Riley asked me something with his eyes, "It's okay Jacob you can let go. He won't hurt me." Jacob's arm relaxed around me

"I won't hurt her. I didn't come here for a fight." Riley said.

"He didn't come here for a fight." I said at the same time as Riley. Jacob's arm dropped.

"What are you doing to her?" Jacob ran in front of me so I had to look at him. I gasped and took a step back. The wind was knocked out of me for no apparent reason. Jacob stared into my eyes and I stared back this time. "Your hypnotizing her!"

"I'm not a magician Jacob, good God!" Riley rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Jacob held my hand and stepped aside. Once he did that Riley's eyes captured mine and I started walking towards him again. I was only a yard away from him now.

"Riley's not a magician Jacob, good goooood." I slurred. Riley laughed.

"Stop it!" Jacob screamed.

"I'm fine, let me go." I told him.

Riley laughed again.

"I have to do what she says, she's my imprint. I do whatever she says!" Jacob snapped and dropped my hand again.

"That's just beautiful." Riley smiled sarcastically. I loved his smile.

"Look Jacob we both have brown hair and were almost the same height, he kind of looks like Charlie. We are like the same person!" I exclaimed as I walked a few more steps and reached out to touch Riley's eyes.

"Bella, no!" The warning call came from Edward this time. Before Edward reached us Riley took my hand and swiftly, just like Edward would throw me onto his back, Riley did the same. My fear kicked in once I couldn't see Riley's eyes. I was straddling Riley's back as we flew down the hill in the forest. The speed was unmatchable to Edward's or Jacob's. He stopped at a stream and put me down. I stood frozen staring into his beautiful, flawless face...a face_ I _could have had so long a go. I wasn't sure what my fate was going to be in the next few minutes, would he kill me right here and now? Would he turn me into what he was so he wouldn't be alone in this world? Did he want me as a sister? Could we be a sibling team of vampires? Or was he just wanting someone to confide with in this new lonely world? Theories ran through my mind but I wasn't scared. Something about Riley made me calm, did he have the same powers as Jasper? No, Riley's powers I was sure outweighed what any other vampire could hold.


	24. Family

"Did Victoria send you here to kill me?" I whispered. I wasn't ready to die. Not now.

"Victoria's dead." Riley's face was unreadable.

If I was to die today maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I knew that Jacob was safe and Edward was okay. The people that I was leaving behind were fine. _It won't be that bad_. I kept repeating silently to myself. "She wanted to do really bad things to me. She must have told you why. I understand though…" I looked down at the ground. I didn't like the effect he had on me when I looked at his eyes.

He laughed, "Understand what? Are you giving me permission to kill you? For God sake I'm not going to kill you…today. You're my sister!" He bent down and flashed me a wicked grin.

My chin lifted meeting his eyes again, I didn't say anything.

"They're coming for you." He looked to the east and back at me. "Come with me." He grabbed my shoulders, his eyes bore into mine.

"Where?" I asked.

"Far away from here, I can do anything! We could rob banks, burn down capitalist buildings, kill Sam Walton!"

"Riley you can't do that! The Volturi would surely kill you!"

"What?"

"Didn't Victoria tell you the rules? The Volturi are like the government for vampires. They monitor your behavior if you get out of line like killing hundreds of people!"

"Well I'll just kill the Volturi!" He smirked and stepped away from me.

"It's impossible. Trust me!" I rolled my eyes. He picked up a stone and skipped it across the stream. It went a long way.

"They will be here in a minute. Come with me. I can make you like me. I won't necessarily kill you. We could be vampire renegade siblings." He smiled.

It was tempting to accept the offer of changing me. If this was a year or so a go I would have agreed in a heartbeat. But now I have more people in my life than just Edward. I had to think about Jacob. "I can't. That would make me my boyfriend's arch enemy. He would be allergic to me almost if you changed me. Not a good idea…right now." I tried to smile but I was actually terrified.

He scuffled and grabbed a few rocks in his hands and squeezed. Sand fell through his fingers. "Let me know if you change your mind."

"Wait! Will you come visit me? I mean, you're my brother! And…what am I supposed to tell Charlie?"

"I'll leave a body near by. Say it's me." In a flash he was up against me.

"No! That's disgusting!" I tried spinning out of his grasp with no luck.

"It's lunch." He hissed. I screamed as his teeth veered towards my neck. "Don't worry this is just for theatrics. I want to test my abilities." He covered my mouth. I screamed into his hand. "Don't worry, I will be back. I want to get to know my sister…I think we have more in common than what I thought."

Edward and Alice were in front of me. Riley tightened his grip on me. Jacob appeared a few seconds later. Edward's face went blank and Alice covered her ears. Edward stared down Riley and gasped. He too covered his ears. The two vampires were now bent over growling, "No! Stop this!" Edward gritted through his teeth. Jacob was up front now, looking between me and Riley. I couldn't breathe from his grip on me and for fear of what was happening to Edward and Alice. I shook my head at Jacob to keep him back.

"Hi, I was just leaving. I wanted to make sure Bella knew she had other options now. You know just giving my sister a good-bye kiss." Riley hissed the last word.

"She can't breathe!" He looked down at me with sad eyes. "I can't phase back. Let her go, please. You've done enough Riley. Please! Just let her go!" Tears were forming in his eyes. Jacob was absolutely desperate. I was expecting the opposite reaction of him phasing into a wolf and taking snaps at Riley. But, he was literally in pain at the sight of the situation and the fact he wasn't able to do anything about it.

It seemed to work. Riley let me go and Jacob immediately snatched me up in his arms. I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his arm. I didn't realize I was _that _scared.

"Bye sis, see you soon." With a blink of an eye Riley was gone and Edward and Alice were back to normal. They came over to me and tried comforting me with Jacob.

"What did he do to you two?" Jacob asked.

"He put some sort of awful ringing in our ears, incapacitated us. I can't read his mind. Just like Bella. It must be inherited." Edward explained.

"I think I just experienced a migraine. This isn't good. We need to do something about Riley." Alice said.

"I want to get out of here." I chimed in, trying to collect my thoughts and stop my tears.

"Of course." Edward whispered and brushed my hair. Jacob, who still had his grasp on me, jerked me away from his touch. Edward hissed and Jacob glared at him.

"Stop it." I tightened my hold on Jake. He liked this. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

Jacob took me back to the car scene. Edward and Alice were right there with us. The pack of wolves in human form and Carlisle were there to meet us.

I let go of Jacob, "It's my fault Carlisle, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help out." I felt horrible. His car was still in the tree.

"It's fine Bella." He smiled.

"We got everyone." Sam told us.

"NO we didn't!" Jacob hurled himself at him.

"Stop that! What are you talking about?" Sam backed up and brushed himself off.

"Riley got away and he was about kill Bella!" Jacob screamed.

"Jake, calm down." I went over to him and put my hand on his chest. I saw Edward in my peripheral wanting to come over to us, to probably protect me from the two men. I gave him a warning look.

"We have to be on the look out now for him. Bella is Riley's half sister. It's a long story and I'll explain later. I just want to get Bella home, alright?" Jacob was being really irritable. He swooped me up into his arms and started walking away from everyone. I let him cool down before I asked where we were going.

"Are we walking home?" I smiled up at him.

He looked down at me with angry eyes that softened at once. He put me on my feet and started laughing uncontrollably. Jacob was scaring me with his sudden changing attitudes. "Can someone give us a ride?" He threw his hands in the air, "FUCK!" He screamed at the sky.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I can't change. I was going to phase and take you home and I can't. Bella, you have no idea how frustrating this is!" He shook his head.

Edward came around with Carlisle's damaged car. "Get in." He demanded us. I looked at Jake, he hesitated but gave in.

Edward drove us to the treaty line and Sam was waiting for us in his truck. "Your dad is going to be relieved that you're a real boy again." I smiled brushed my hand through his hair. We were both sitting in the back seat with Edward glancing back at us every few seconds.

"Yeah, probably." His tone was sour. I pulled my hand away and turned away from Jake. He sighed and grabbed my hand, "After I shower can I come home with you?" Jacob asked, his sad eyes roaming mine.

"Of course." Edward shifted in his seat.

"'k." He got out of the car and held the door open for me. "Thanks!" I called to Edward. He wouldn't roll down the window to say goodbye. He was a statue in the battered car. He nodded and backed up and sped away.

I pulled out my phone and immediately texted Edward, "_Be sweet! Don't hate me over this!_" Bella – 6:02 P.M.

I slid my phone in my pocked and jumped into Sam's cab. Jacob held me close and would lean down to kiss me on the lips every few moments. "I missed you Bell." He snuggled his nose into my shoulder. My phone vibrated. I waited until we got to Jacob's drive to take it out.

"_I could never hate you. I love you Isabella, always remember that. I'll see you soon." _Edward – 6:08 P.M.

I put it back in my pocket without replying. I took Jacob's hand as he led the way up to his house.


	25. Be Sweet

I was riding with Jacob in his rabbit back to my house. His hair was still wet from his long shower. When I took my eyes off of him for a moment I realized we weren't going in the direction of my house. "Where are we going?"

"I thought we were going to your house? Did you want to stop by somewhere first?" He hit the breaks a bit.

Then I realized he was taking me to Charlie's house. Jacob didn't even know I had my own home now. "Uh, yeah that's fine." I ran my hand through my hair. What was I going to say to him, _oh hey I got my own how while you were gone?_ I had to build up to it at least.

He looked at me, "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yep, my concentration just got lost while I was gazing at you." I smiled.

He slowed the car down even more and put his hand on my face to bring my mouth to his. He kissed me more passionately than I expected. I pulled my lips away to gasp for air, "Jake you gotta look where you're driving." I wound my fingers around the door handle. Jacob smiled and wrapped his hand around mine.

Charlie gave us the go around when we arrived. The phone chord was swinging back and forth, meaning he just got off the phone with Billy. Jacob apologized and told him a few times that he was with his sister and after a few minutes Charlie let us retreat to my room.

Jacob shut the door all the way and went straight for the bed, but he swooped me up into his arms in the process. I was situated on his lap facing away from him. His chin rested on my shoulder. He sighed.

"It's over." I ran my fingers through his hair and patted his cheek.

"But problem after problem keeps on rising." He sighed again leaning his face into my hand. I hope he was talking about Riley and not Edward and me. My heart started fluttering. I was going to have to tell him what happened between me and Edward. I was going to have to tell him everything and though Edward told me he was ready for it, ready to fight for me, to keep me anyways, I was still unsure. I didn't respond. He pulled is down to the pillows and turned me around.

"I'm sorry I didn't stop Riley. I should have." He shook his head.

"He didn't hurt me, he won't hurt me, it will be okay. I wouldn't worry about him. It seems like he is too interested in robbing banks and causing havoc on corporate businesses to bother with us. I'm afraid he will just get himself destroyed in the process." I was hoping he wouldn't get himself into trouble and I was secretly hoping he would come back so I could talk to him.

"I hope your right Bella. But if he does come back I'll take care of him. Do you remember what you were saying to him? It seemed like he had you hypnotized." Jacob's face went grim.

I looked to the left trying to recall what had happened. "Well, kind of. I think he did have some sort of force over me. It was weird. I felt fine but the words that were coming out…they just didn't make sense."

Jacob shivered, "I hate that he can do that." He said quietly.

I pondered Riley's ability. "Yeah, I wonder what_ I_ could do if he can do that." My eyes grew wide with the slightest thought of it.

Jacob stopped breathing and his eyes filled with anger…or fear…Maybe both, I couldn't tell. "If he ever tries to turn you…" He started vibrating.

"Hey, hey, no, don't get upset. It won't happen, baby, you won't let that happen to me." I embraced him, his head more near my chest than face. His arms slowly wrapped around caressing me, his breathing picked up a different pace and he stopped shaking. I kissed the top of his wet head and pressed myself a little more into his face. He inhaled deeply and pulled me tighter. His face was directly in my cleavage. He moaned as his fingers ran wild up and down my backside.

I pulled away and he lifted himself up so his lips could meet mine. These were hungry kisses, ones I had missed the most. In between kisses he whispered, "I won't ever let him hurt you." After a few more sweet kisses he sighed and rested his head on the pillow next to mine. He was solemn and looking away from me. I kept my arm around him and lay next to him.

"Tell me what happened." I whispered.

It took a minute for him to say anything. He didn't meet my eyes, "I don't want to right now. I don't think I can talk about it. You know, hearing my thoughts is one thing, with the pack but actually talking about it is harder."

I understood even though I wanted to know so I could understand it all.

"Okay." I said rubbing his shoulder. He smiled slightly but still didn't look at me. It was making me worried because I couldn't understand. I heard Charlie trudge up the stairs.

"Bella, you need to get a hold of your mom she called here yesterday trying to get a hold of you."

"Okay dad." I huffed and got out of bed to turn on the computer. I sat at the desk drumming my fingers along the keyboard waiting for it to function. Jacob didn't say anything. Five minutes went by as I wrote Renee an email. I thought Jacob was asleep since he wasn't talking. After I exited out of the internet I heard Jake situate himself on the bed.

"So, how bad is it?" He asked. I turned around to ask what he was talking about but I could see it in his eyes what he was implying.

I still had to ask. "How bad is what?"

Jacob eyes narrowed, "I mean…do _I_ still have a girlfriend?" He asked grimly.

I swallowed hard, here it goes. I had to tell him everything, I wasn't going to lie to him like I did when I went away with Alice or those many other times when I was upset over Edward and blamed it on something else.

"Well, I'm not sure after this." I got up and sat on the bed across from him.

He swallowed hard too as he tried to fight back the emotion rising in his throat.


	26. Confessions

I wasn't going to use the excuse that I thought he was dead. He deserved a better explanation than that. I sat there quietly for a moment trying to figure out the best way to start.

"It happened after Sam and Emily's wedding." I blurted out.

"What happened after Sam's wedding?" He jumped a little bit and gritted his teeth.

"I kissed Edward."

"_You_ kissed Edward?"

"Yes, well I mean he was going in for it anyway but I'm going to tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts, I have to."

He groaned and threw himself back on the bed, "I hate my life." He grumbled.

"You asked!" I pointed out.

"I know!" He yelled and pounded his fist against the bed.

"That was the first night Edward and I did...stuff."

"The first night? Dear God, just kill me now! I want to know exactly what happened!" He shot up and stared at me.

"What happened that night?"

"Yes"

"We kissed and…" I looked down at my hands. I couldn't finish.

"There was more?" He asked quietly, his hands balled into fists.

I couldn't bring myself to answer.

"Bella?"

"Jake, maybe this isn't the best place to talk about it. You know, with Charlie downstairs…"

"I can't phase so it doesn't matter. Do you not want to tell me?"

"It's bad." I looked up at him, I could feel the tears trickle down my face. "Real bad."

He groaned, his face went surprisingly sympathetic. "I want to know, Bella. I want to know if I'm still yours."

"No you don't and you won't want me after this." I choked.

"You're wrong. I want you no matter what happened in my absence. I love you Bella and you know that it now goes deeper than love." He reached for my face, "There's nothing you can say that will get rid of me."

I shook him away, "No Jake! I want you to be mad at me! It's not fair!"

"Please!"

"Don't hurt him. It's my fault like it is his fault, okay?"

He huffed, "Okay I won't."

"That night of the wedding…We fooled around but we didn't have sex and I didn't touch him inappropriately."

"But he touched you?"

"Yes, my dress was off."

"Oh God."

"It happened and then I immediately regretted it. I told him the next morning we couldn't do that ever again."

"Okay."

"And then he came over later that day to my house."

"How? Did he come in uninvited? Why?"

I was remembering how it happened, I was touching myself while thinking of the night before and Edward had been in attendance through a lot of the performance.

"It was a surprise to me. I opened my eyes in he was in my bedroom. Jake, you don't want to hear the rest. What happened then in my room was the extent of it, nothing more."

"It happened right here? The place I am sitting on right now?"

"No it happened at my house."

"What are you talking about?"

I remembered I hadn't told him about the house yet.

"It was supposed to be a surprise but that cat's out of the bag now. I'm renting a place on Thimbleberry Lane."

Jacob made some sort of growling sound. "That's why you were acting weird on the drive home…I missed everything."

"I was on my bed, and Edward was persistent about _being with me_. He kind of lost control, Jake. He wasn't thinking straight. "

"What did he do Bella?" Jacob started vibrating and his jaw was clenched.

I froze, staring at him slowly losing control.

"Jake you're scaring me." I whispered.

He suddenly stopped and looked at me wide eyed. "Sorry."

I wrung my hands and looked down. "Is it that bad?" He whispered.

"Yeah." I said without meeting his eyes.

He withdrew himself from the bed and was standing at my open window.

"Don't leave. I just got you back." I mumbled.

He walked over to me and bent down in front of me, "Look at me Bella".

I complied, "Jake, I feel so bad. I'm so ashamed of myself. You won't forgive me for this…I…I…." He didn't let me finish.

"Bella, to make this relationship work…er…to make it right, we need to be truthful with each other. That's why I'm asking what happened. We need to get whatever this is out there and deal with it. Once we do, it will get better."

"How are you so much more mature than me?" I laughed through my tears.

He smiled brightly and kissed my forehead, "I had a lot of time to think these past few months."

I frowned at the thought of Jake being in Victoria's hold. "I'll tell you." I said taking a deep breath. "We didn't have sex but the day after the wedding we kissed again and then…"

"Naked kissing again?" He asked skeptically.

"Just listen." I gritted through my teeth. "Edward took it too far…he pulled my shorts down and…Oh God." I shook my head.

"Bella, what…did…he…do?" Jacob was firm with his words but his hands were softly placed on both sides of my face.

"He, he went down on me." I spat out.

His mouth dropped open and his hands froze on my face.

"I made him stop right away." I started breathing too hard and too fast.

He still didn't say anything.

I withdrew from his touch and curled up into the middle of the bed. He shook his head and then looked at me. "I'm going to kill him." He hissed.

"Don't Jacob." I cried.

He sighed and got up on the bed with me. "This is ridiculous! I can't believe him!" He huffed and curled up next to me.

"I'm ridiculous." I mumbled against my knee.

"I can't believe he had the nerve…" He tried breathing evenly.

"I did it too! Blame me cause it's just as much my fault!" I screeched.

"Fine! I can't believe you Bella! How could you do this to me?" He yelled sarcastically and threw himself back on the bed.

I stood up and went to storm off from him. I was furious. But he grabbed me by the waist and threw me on top of him. "What are you doing?" I wrestled against his grip.

He curled me against him, "Aren't you mad at me?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm mad that this happened but I can't stay angry at you. You know, I was expecting something worse." He kissed the top of my head and constricted his arms around me.

"You thought we would be back together?" I asked

"Something like that." He grumbled.

I didn't say anything. I thought about it too. I lay in his arms while his hands stroked my hair.

"Where do we go from here?" Jacob asked.

I shrugged between his shoulders and looked up at him. "Do you still want me, even after what I told you?" I asked.

"Yes. Do you still want me after all this time being away? Is your heart still fond of me?" He whispered.

"Yes, of course." I replied automatically.

"Well, that's the first step, clarification." He grinned down at me and squeezed me to him.

"Slowly but surely?" I smiled.

He laughed, "Yes, I guess that's right. But, I do have a question." Jacob's face went serious.

"Okay." I squeaked.

"Are you and_ him_ still on…friendly terms?" I could tell it was hard for him to get it out.

Were Edward and I on good terms? Were we friends? Everything changes when someone comes back into your life. I'm focused on Jacob and I want to be focused on Jacob. In his absence, even though I was unfaithful, I realized I love him. A part of me went missing when he was gone, and I'm not talking about my virginity. My happy, human life includes Jacob and I'm taking that chance right now. I understand what Edward meant about_ that_ now even if it's not the right person he would pick for me. Jacob is better than any of them. I knew the answer to Jacob's question,

"No, it isn't possible for us to have a friendship." I said blatantly to him.


	27. Crying Games

It was unspoken that we were both on the edge of sleep as our conversation died down and was replaced with heavy yawns and light caresses.

Jacob turned away from me, curled into the fetal position and let out a sigh. What was I supposed to do? How was I to respond to that? I was hurt by this small action. Jacob was too disgusted with me to want to be close. He didn't want to hold me. I choked back tears in my throat and turned away from him. I too curled into a ball. I clutched the comforter and brought it to my lips trying to suppress my growing hurt inside.

A minute or so went by and I was in the same position when I heard Jacob shuffle his body. I thought I was going to completely lose it.

"Your not breathing" Jacob said in a concerned whisper. I felt his hand place on my arm. I jerked and shuddered letting out a ragged moan. That did it. I curled into myself even tighter and shook the whole bed as I cried into the sheets.

"What is it? Shh, come here." Jacob snaked his arms around me and brought me to him. "Bella?" He whispered again as he wiped his tears away from my cheeks. I shuddered again and let out another moan. "Please Bella, tell me what's wrong." He crushed his lips to my forehead and held me tight. Jacob situated me where he could rock me back and forth. "Oh Bell." His voice cracked as he spoke. My heart wretched, it felt like it was being twisted and tightened in different directions causing me to cry out more.

Jacob kept rocking me and murmuring to me in my ear. I felt a drop on my hair and then another one. I shifted my face and another drop hit my cheek. It was warm and wet. I looked up at Jacob for the first time. He was staring down, red eyed, at me with tears trickling down. I let go of the comforter, my hand left the comforter to clutch myself around Jacob. I wrapped myself around his neck, grasping his shoulders.

"I don't know what I'm doing Jake! I made some messed up decisions. I don't even know myself now! How can I be with you if I don't even liking myself?" I shook my head into his shoulder. "Why did you turn away from me to sleep?" I squeaked.

He pulled me away enough so he could look at me. "Wait, what?" His brow furrowed.

I stuttered trying to catch my breath. My thoughts were running wild as I tried to get out what I wanted to say. "You turned away from me instead of holding me. Your upset with me because of what I did. You can't forgive me. I understand but I…I don't like myself Jake. I can't stand myself for hurting you, betraying you and knowing, kind of, what you were put through when I thought differently at times!" My teeth chattered in anticipation of how he was going to react.

He looked away for a moment then met my gaze again. "I don't want you to feel like that about yourself. I was too worked up to hold you just then. I needed to calm down. I have a lot running inside me too right now. Upset that I wasn't able to destroy Riley and that he was _too_ close to killing you, fuming over this new knowledge of what Edward did, or _tried _to do, and to top it off this is the first time in ages that I get to sleep in human form in a bed. It feels like I have a million emotions rocking through me and I'm scared I'll shift or just have a mental collapse right here! And, don't say that I can't forgive you, we both know that's not true Bells. I'm head over fucking heels with you!" He kissed my forehead and held me there for a moment. I pondered what he just said.

Jake surprised me by letting out a sudden laugh, "Heck Bella! If the roles were reversed and I was in Edward's position I would fight ten times harder to get you to be mine! I would seize any opportunity in a second to persuade you to be with me! I would win you know? He would come back, you and me would be married and living in a small cottage on the Res. I would be yours entirely."

I sighed into him and kissed his shoulder. My heart was fluttering but the twisting had died down and was being replaced by…other feelings. I rest my head against him and imagined what he just said. He would have won and I would be his. "I know." I whispered against his warm skin.

With me still in his arms he let us fall back onto the pillows. One hand stroked my hair and the other trailed along my backside. "I love you so much." He said with much conviction.

"I love you too." I kissed his chest and scooted up to his face. "Why were you crying?" I asked.

He was solemn as he twirled my hair, "Because it kills me inside when you are upset when I don't know why you are." He kissed my nose.

I tried to suppress a yawn but he caught it, "It's okay for me to hold you while we sleep?" He smiled.

"S'okay." I smiled sheepishly.

"K, good." He turned out the bed side lamp and snuggled into me. Soon after I heard soft snores escape his lips.

__

I felt warm hands moving up and down my waist and a nose running up and down my hair. I moved in response to the touch and heard a groan from Jake. That's when I felt it. Something very warm and hard was poking my behind. My eyes flew open and noticed the green light from my alarm clock sporting 3:00am. "Jake?" I croaked.

"Oh Bells!" His arm pulled me in and his other hand fisted my hair. Then I really felt what he was feeling.

My mouth was slightly gaping open as I registered what was happening in that moment. Jacob was aroused…really aroused. I wondered when the last time he…My concentration broke when another throaty moan came out. He moved his erection slightly and I felt it spring up as it left my behind. I felt myself wet instantly. I turned my body around so I was facing him.

"You woke up. It's only 3." I noted.

"I had a dream…" He grunted.

"Oh, was it bad?" I caressed his face.

"Uh uh" He snorted and shook his head. Oh so it was a _good _dream. I wondered back to my prior thoughts.

"That night when we first, you know…"

"Made love!" Jacob filled in the blank and quickly sucked in my bottom lip.

"Yes exactly!" I came up short by his lips, "One of my best nights, best moments ever." I whispered.

"Me too. I'm sorry I wasn't there afterwards. I know it's not my fault but…yeah I thought about it too much every day after that." His lips met mine again.

"I did…still do too." I ran my fingers down the length of his arm. His erect member standing strong against my panties. "Do you still want me like _that_?" I had to ask.

Jake snorted, "Of course I do! Can't you tell" He bit his bottom lip and pushed against my panties to show me how much he did.

I blushed and looked down, "I still feel that way about you too. It's good to know, you know?" I peeked a look up at him.

"I know." He smiled and kissed me. We didn't stop kissing for minutes. His tongue swirled around mine making my head spin. But I knew better. I couldn't let this go too far, right now. I pulled away, "Maybe soon we can try it again?" I asked in a small voice.

Jacob relaxed beside me and smiled, "Yeah baby, that would be real nice." His thumb brushed against my lower lip.

"Good." I smiled and nuzzled into him.


	28. Welcome Mats

The next day Sam and the pack woke us up with yips and yaps from outside the house, calling Jacob out. He wasn't able to change to wolf form like the others were but Sam was going to work with him for the day. I wasn't to see him until that evening. I was on my way to my own house for the first time in a while. Edward disassembled the security systems in and around the house, thank God. I dropped my stuff down on the living room floor and sighed. Alone time, for the first time in, I don't even know. I plopped down on my couch and looked around . There is no reason for this house. I got it in the first place for Jacob and I. Now that I think about it, was it really necessary? Was I old enough to have allotted alone time with my boyfriend? Right now I didn't think I was. "I'm wasting my money", I hissed under my breath.

"I think you are too." Answered a voice out of nowhere.

I jumped from the couch and froze. Edward rounded the corner with a solemn expression on his face. As soon as I realized it was him I stomped over and pushed on his chest, "You can't…You can't freaking do that to me!" I scorned.

"Sorry." He grabbed my wrists and wounded them around him.

I froze again. "Hey," I whispered in disapproval.

"No, stop." He hushed me with is finger. "I came here to discuss…rather to tell you something."

"What is it?" I stopped pulling away.

He towed me to my bed and sat me down. "I'm going to track Riley." He sat frozen next to me.

I let that register in my mind, "Why?" I felt I already knew the answer.

"He's not going to get away with what he did to you." Edward was ready for a response.

"No! You are not hurting him! He didn't hurt me! He's my brother Edward!"

"He is not! It doesn't count! Not now and not before! You didn't know he even existed until merely days a go! He's dead now Bella!" Edward spit out in disgust.

"Don't start with the whole dead crap!" I retaliated. "That doesn't matter to me! That _doesn't_ count!" I folded my arms across my chest.

Edward closed his eyes momentarily, "But he will come back. I don't need to read his mind to figure that out…" He took a deep breath and unleashed his gaze into mine. "Bella, I need your permission to go track Riley."

My jaw dropped, "I think you know the answer to that. And besides, why would you need my permission?" I shook my head, trying to shake off the effect he was having on me.

"You know why." His face was grave.

I sat there and pondered. It hit me. "You said you wouldn't leave me." I whispered, realization washed through me.

"Yes, and I don't want to go back on my promise but this has to be done. I'll be able to do this without too much worry because I know you will be safe. Jacob won't let harm get to you." He kissed my forehead.

Memories that were stored and shut up long a go started seeping through to my forethought, I tried to shake it. "It's not…" I swallowed hard, "necessary." I didn't want Edward to leave because I didn't want Riley destroyed or Edward. I also didn't want him to leave because I was sure I wouldn't be able to go through _it_ again…not knowing if he would return. Edward was a part of me that I couldn't, wouldn't shake off.

He shut his eyes tight, "I'm not going to make you choose but think about what you are saying right now. Please Bella!"

I did think and my heart started beating erratically. The feeling of abandonment washed through me. Images of lying in my bed, in the dark, out of breath from the fresh nightmare I just had…All from the absence of Edward. Those thoughts mixed with the unfairness of this whole situation. I had to let Edward go because I was in no position to stop him. After all, he isn't mine anymore. He can do what he wants because he wasn't and I made that clear time and time again to him. This was no longer about Edward and I, he could do what he wanted. Still, I didn't want to tell him yes. Riley told me he wasn't going to hurt me and I was anticipating his next visit. I didn't want Edward to go because I knew I couldn't live if something happened to him.

"I…I don't like this." I stuttered and fled the bedroom. I locked myself in the bathroom. Time to think alone. But instead of thinking I started crying.

"Bella, open the door. I can't stand it when you cry." Edward murmured through the door.

"Give me a minute. I need some space." I choked.

"You would have space if you let me go track." Edward pointed out.

His comment infuriated me. I picked up my toothbrush holder and flung it at the door.

"I…I'm sorry." He groaned.

I sat on the toilet seat trying to gain composure. It started out with choosing between two but now it's like I'm choosing between three. Edward or Jacob, Edward or Riley, Jacob or Riley…I clenched my fists and growled in frustration. Why do I have to choose? "I'm nothing special." I mumbled into my hands. Why am I left with these decisions? When the words left my lips I was almost instantly cradled in Edward's arms on the floor of the bathroom.

"Don't say that." He hushed me. "You're the most important specimen to me." He kissed my forehead again, making me scrunch my face. I knew Jacob would smell that one later.

"I can't catch a break can I? It's always one thing or another that is keeping me on guard or worried."

"That's what I'm trying to right Bella. I won't live with myself if Riley ever hurt you."

"He promised me he wouldn't hurt me. Let's just see what happens." I rolled my eyes internally at my feeble attempt at keeping him at bay.

"That's a preposterous idea Bella! If we wait to see what happens there might not be time to do anything about it."

What could I live without? What would be the best compromise. Edward was going. I knew what I could live with. My compromise was set….I think. "I'm pretty attached to Riley, Edward." I said matter-of-factly.

He hissed and tightened his grip on me.

"We're connected, I can feel it." Edward glared at the wall. "…Just don't kill him." I whispered.

His eyebrows lifted, "Wait, so I can go?"

"I can't live without you. Remember that. Know that even though I made a choice, a decision, it doesn't mean that I care for you no less." I broke away from his hold and stood up.

"I can't go on without you either." He whispered and pulled me into a tighter embrace.

I didn't want to hear that. "When are you leaving?"

"Now?" One eyebrow lifted.

"Are you serious?" I wrestled away from him.

"I don't have anything to wait for." He threw his arms in the air and huffed.

"I didn't know it was going to be so soon." I was still shocked.

"I won't be gone long."

"But your not a good tracker. You might get lost or something." I mumbled, shuffling my feet.

He sighed. "I'm never going to live that down." He pulled me back to him. "I won't be long." He promised.

"K, just be careful…and…don't kill him." I sighed and said my goodbyes.

Edward left soon after. I made myself believe he wasn't going to hurt Riley…With his tracking record there was a good chance he wouldn't find Riley.

I was in the living room watching _Atonement _when I heard the backdoor slam shut. I gasped and was about to run out the front door when Jacob rounded the corner.

"What the hell? How…Did you find the house?" I yelped.

"Sam showed me loca. Come here." He smiled and swung me up into his arms. He put me on my feet and pressed his lips to mine. "Sorry I scared you."

"That's the second time today." I sighed.

"This is the first time I've been here." His brow furrowed.

Should I tell him? Yes, I should. "Edward stopped by today." I looked directly at him.

His hands dropped from me. "Why?"

"He's was saying goodbye."

"Edward's leaving?!" Jacob's eyes went wide and a smile flickered across his face.

"For a while. Edward is going to go track Riley."

"Really?" Jacob looked at me a little stunned.

"Yes."

"Huh. Well I'm a little disappointed that he's going to have all the fun."

"Stop." I held up my hand and he caught it and covered it with both of his.

"'kay, I won't say anymore." He huffed. "I came here for a reason, anyway." He took a deep breath in.

"And what is that?" I asked lighting up.

"Bella, will you go on a date with me tonight?" He grinned ear to ear.

His smile made me do the same. "Of course, what do you have in mind?"

"Well, to keep things low key I thought about just going to the pizza joint in Forks. All of the 'missing child' posters Charlie put out kind of makes it hard to go out-out. Since the good people of Forks know I'm back I thought it would be better if we stayed close."

"Yeah that sounds great." I laughed. I was sure Charlie hadn't made it to Port Angeles to take down the posters. That would have been a disaster for us.

"And…" Jacob hesitated "And maybe afterwards we could come back here." Something in his tone made me look critically at him. His eyes were shifting back and forth from me and the floor.

Oh.

"Yes." I answered to quickly, his eyes grew wide. "Well…maybe." I back-tracked my words. I think I knew what Jacob wanted by his nonverbal actions.

His expression dropped minutely but he still had a smile on his face.

"'kay, good." He stood there awkwardly. "So are you thinking about cleaning up before we go?" He asked nervously.

"What do you mean clean up? Do you think I look bad?" I looked down at my shirt and sniffed my arm.

He put a gentle hand on my arm. "No, no. It's just you smell like him…Actually, this whole place smells like _them_." His nose crinkled.

I rolled my eyes and shook off his arm. But, I wondered how strong Jacob's senses were. Could he tell which places on me smelled stronger? Could he tell I had been kissed on the forehead, on the hair? That worried me. "Fine, I'll get a shower and Febreeze the house!" I turned and started to walk away.

"Febreeze your room good cause it smells the worst in there." Jacob called to me.

I stopped in my tracks and spun around. Jacob's lips were pressed into a hard line. He could have just said _'Spray your bed cause it smells like a 24/7 vampire sleep-over party everywhere.'_

"That reminds me, do you want a tour of the house or have you already been through it once or twice?" I snapped at him.

"Well, you can formally introduce me to it, I guess." He shrugged and kept his face hard.

"You guess?" I asked taking a step away from him.

"Show me the damn house Bella." He huffed, rolled his eyes at me and a smile broke across his face.

I thought about the day I put the deposit and first month's rent down on the house. How excited I was to show Jacob my very own place. This isn't at all how I planned it out to be. Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist as I towed him from room to room.


	29. Now, Tomorrow, Forever

Jacob and I were settled onto my couch after an evening of pizza and shocked stares from the townspeople. Only one had the actual nerve to come up and ask Jacob where he had been. The evening out was deemed a success by both of us.

"My feet are freezing!" I said through chattering teeth. Jacob grabbed my feet in his hands placed them on his lap.

"This will warm them up." He covered them both with his hands.

"Thank you." I yawned.

"Your welcome" Keeping his eyes on the television. "Do you want to go to bed soon?"

"Probably, I can't keep my eyes open." I yawned again.

"'k." He whispered, still not looking at me. I wanted to ask what was bothering Jake but I decided against it. I didn't know if I actually wanted to know

Jacob finished the movie we were watching. I woke up when I heard the television click off. Jacob huffed before he stood up and scooped me up into his arms. "Time for bed." He thoughtfully put me down in my bed and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled up at him but was confused as to why he was just standing there and not climbing into bed with me.

"Are you leaving?" I sat up.

He didn't answer right away. "I don't want to." He finally whispered.

"I don't want you to either." I sat up higher.

He sighed, kicked off his shoes, took off his shirt and climbed in next to me. I snuggled too close against him while I replayed the stripping off of the shirt again and again.

"I want us to be us again." I murmured against his shoulder.

He caressed the small of my back, "Me too. So bad."

"I don't know where to start." I confessed. I really didn't. His attitude was so foreign to me. I couldn't even begin to imagine the reason why it was.

"I thought we should start off slow. Like taking baby steps. I was convinced that it would work. But I don't think that's the answer. I'm trying to figure this out too." When Jacob spoke now, it was like he was much older.

"Maybe there isn't a concrete answer. Maybe just realizing together there isn't is the first step." I was trying to grasp what I just said.

"That's a good start." He nuzzled the top of my head. "Maybe someday I can open up about what happened. Maybe that will help things. I don't want us to keep anything from each other."

"I'm trying." I sighed.

"I know. I just want to tell you what I want right now. And I want that to be okay." Jacob became adamant.

"Okay?" I looked up at him confused.

"I'm nervous. I'm afraid of what you might say." Now he was scaring me.

"Just tell me. What's wrong?"

Jacob ran his fingers lightly down my arm, "I want to be more than _us_ again. I want to be yours. I want to be anything and everything you want and need. I want _us_ right now, tomorrow, and forever. I can't give you up!" His voice broke on the last few words. His eyes squinted and his bottom lip started to tremble.

My breath hitched, my movements frozen, and I was slightly aware that my mouth was hanging open. I wasn't ready for this confession. I tried to gain composure but every second I stared at Jacob's desperate expression, completely undid every knot that was tied. I gasped and nodded my head erratically.

"Yes?" Jacob asked in a sob.

"Yes. I want to be yours too. I've imagined everything you just said countless times before and especially when you were away. " I spoke with quiet conviction, remembering all the times I had dreamt of him, of us.

Jacob sat up, the sheet dropping down just above his torso. I mirrored his movements and he pulled me close to his chest. "I love you Bella." His eyes bore into mine.

"I love you too Jake." I responded. Before I knew it Jacob's lips came crushing on to mine. I swung my arms around his neck and pulled myself up into his lap. His hands were everywhere, trying to have as much of me as he could. He slowly eased us back onto the pillows where he had me pinned beneath him. I couldn't hide my ridiculous smile as I took in his messy hair, broad shoulders and naked front side. My arms latched on to him and pulled him to me. He laughed and continued placing kisses from my neck up to my lips.

I let my fingers roam his front side and dipping low to the button of his jeans so I could feel any traces of a happy trail. His hands ghosted up my shirt and started massaging my breasts. I flipped my face to the side and let out a soft moan. This pleased him. Jacob thrust right into me which produced a louder moan.

I didn't think I was going to find the will to make this stop but I did, " I love you…but…this…isn't taking it slow."

Jacob stopped almost immediately and cuddled up against me. "Your right. I need to control myself better. Sorry." He said between deep breaths.

"It's okay. I need to control myself better too. You just tantalize me by your mere presence. We can't be together _like that _until we are completely comfortable again being _us_." I smiled and nuzzled my nose against his.

"Yes, until we are completely us again." Jacob then changed the subject. "Can I switch off the light?"

"Yeah." I was confused by the subject change.

Jacob turned off the light and brought the covers over us. "Umm, you're not going to wear your clothes to bed are you? That wouldn't be comfortable."

True, jeans and a bra is not comfortable.

I thought for a second. I can at least tease him a little, there is no harm done there. "Can I wear your shirt?" I asked.

That brought him up short. "What? Uhh, yeah." He grabbed it from the floor and held it to me.

I took the white v-neck Hanes t-shirt from him and got out of bed. Without saying anything I unbuttoned my jeans.

"What are you…Oh…" Jacob gaped in awe at me. I unbuttoned the top three buttons on my shirt and peeled it off. Next, I slowly slid off my jeans. Jacob was now sitting on the side of the bed looking like he was ready to pounce. I slipped Jacob's too big t-shirt over me. I modestly unsnapped my bra and tossed it to the floor. In the moonlight I could see Jacob swallow hard and adjust himself in his pants.

I walked over to him. "Now, take off your pants. You can't be comfortable to sleep in those." I giggled.

Jacob responded by standing up and sliding his jeans off to the floor. He grabbed me and kissed me fervently. "That was hot."

Once again, Jacob tucked us under the covers and cuddled up against me. I hitched my leg so I was clasped to him, feeling his briefs under my thigh and his erection big and hard against me. He traced his fingers up and down my leg. "This is nice." He murmured.

"Not too much?" I asked.

"No, just perfect." He smiled and kissed me lightly.


	30. I and Love and You

I woke up to Jacob staring out the window of my bedroom. I glanced at the clock, 9:15? Jeez, I'm still too tired. I stretched and made a move to get out of bed but Jacob came and joined me.

"I had a dream last night." He looks at me seriously. Uh oh.

"Talk to me about it." I offer to him.

"Well, it's a reoccurring dream I had when I was away, this time it was all fuzzy and different. It scared me when I was gone." He tip-toed around the subject.

"Go on." I placed my hand on his shoulder and kissed it.

He smiled at me briefly, "I had dreams that you were pregnant. But they were so real, Bella. I was in the woods trying to find you and every time I got to you it was too late. They were awful. I started to believe that you were pregnant. It was like my subconscious was coming through in a dream. I even had the name in my head…" Bella cut him off.

"Annabelle!" Bella gasped.

Jacob looked like he just seen a ghost. "Oh my god, are you pregnant Bella?" He panicked and his gaze went to my flat stomach.

"No! That's the name I had picked out when I…" I looked down at my lap.

Jacob turned his whole body toward me, "When you what?"

"I had a pregnancy scare a few weeks after you were absent. My period was late and I was eating really weird things and I basically convinced myself I was. Alice was no help either since she wasn't able to halfway see anything because of your wolf genes. But when I went to take a pregnancy test I started my period. Sorry for talking about _it_ so much."

"Don't be sorry. I wish I was here." Jacob looked at me with an endlessly sad face.

"Me too. But now you are." I nudged him softly. He responded by wrapping me up in his arms and falling back onto the bed.

"We came up with the same name and gender. That's so strange. Maybe we are more connected than we thought." Jacob mused.

"I think we are." I leaned in and kissed him passionately.

He grabbed both of my hands with only one of his and pinned them above me. Still clad in only his briefs, he pulled the blanket over us and ground into my hips and kissed me practically with just his tongue. It all lasted about thirty seconds until he collapsed beside me and smiled, dignified at me.

I was still trying to catch my breath and find my will to not tear off his briefs off, I knew he would let me if I tried.

"What. Was. That?" I gulped.

"Something I always wanted to try." He kept smiling.

"Try it some more, please?" I asked innocently.

"Later, maybe?" He cuddled closer to me and placed a light kiss on my lips.

"Uh huh." I nodded my head up and down like a little kid.

After a few minutes of cuddling I got up to get a glass of water. "We should just lay in bed all day." Jacob called out to me when I was in the kitchen. I smiled as I took a drink, my Jacob was coming back to me.

"That sounds perfect." I called back to him while I walked back to the bedroom.

"I want babies." Jacob sighed when I got back in bed.

I spit out my water, "Excuse me?!" My eyes bugged and my breath hitched.

"I thought about it a lot while I was gone and I really want to make babies with you." He was serious.

"Right now?" My heart started going into overtime. Where did my Jacob just go? This was not him!

"Yes." He answered like it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, babies were natural, but…

"I'm on the pill!" That was the only thing that fell out of my mouth.

"Stop taking it." He took the glass from my hand and sat it on the bed side table.

"And there is college, work, and…umm marriage to think about." I raced for quality reasons to come up with.

"I thought you didn't want to get married. You said something along the lines as it being, sacrificial?" Jacob lifted an eyebrow.

"True, but doesn't marriage become before babies?" Anything, anything to make him stop talking about babies!

"Not in the 21st century really. Besides if you were "single" and had children you get a lot of money from the state. People aren't getting married as much now." He reached out and clasped my hand with his.

"But I want to go through college and finding my first real job and settling a bit before we try for babies." All of this was true, valid, sound…all of the above!

His brows pulled together and he looked solemn for a moment. How does he want babies at a time like this? We just established we were still together not even 72 hours a go! "You're right. I don't want to take any of those experiences away from you." He gave my hand a little squeeze.

The sight of him so sad made me sad. I wanted to take all of his sadness away, right now. "Okay, let's make a baby." What did I just say? No, Bella, no! Before I knew it I was straddling him.

Jacob laughed, "No, not now. You are not ready. We can wait. Wait 'till after school and everything. I don't mind really." He put a smile back on his face and kept glancing up at my breasts.

I climbed off of him and cuddled up to him. "Thank you." I kissed him. "I'm still shocked that you are ready for kids."

"I was so set on coming home and finding you with a baby or pregnant with one that when I realized you weren't, I felt disappointed. I didn't think I would feel that way but I just did." He sighed. "Can we really spend the whole day together in bed?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yes if we can do it without having sex." I smirked.

"Sure, sure." He grinned and held me close. "We should spend most of the day in bed and then at night we can go to Aberdeen. I can buy some food and cook dinner for us tonight." He looked at me eagerly.

"Wow, you thought a lot about this day haven't you?" I hadn't even thought about what I was going to do after I brushed my teeth.

"I feel really good today, Bella…I'm happy. Huh, I haven't felt this way in so long." He wouldn't stop smiling, and now I couldn't stop smiling.

"I love you so much." Those words felt fitting in the moment.

. .

"So, I'm really looking forward to some _cooked _steak tonight." Jacob playfully glared at me while he was driving my truck through the country roads back from Aberdeen.

Oh no! I fed him raw steak when he was stuck as a wolf. I literally pranced along the Cullen's front yard in Edward's suit jacket tossing pieces of raw meat at him. I even tried to make him beg. Shit.

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. "Sorry…doesn't really cut it does it?" I glanced up at him under my eyelashes.

"No. But the saddest part was that I was _that _hungry to play along with your games!" His glare broke and a smile erupted.

"Well I'm glad you can laugh about it now." I tried smiling too.

His face turned grim, "Who's laughing about it?"

"Stop it! I'm sorry!" I covered my face with my hands.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I forgive you." He wrapped his free arm around me and pulled me close.

Jacob took a more serious turn in conversation when he opened up to me about how he was treated under Victoria's hold. He talked about the disgusting food Riley brought him every day and how he hoped he never saw another navy bean in his life. I was really glad he was starting to open up to me. Today felt almost perfect besides the mentions about babies. It felt like we were becoming us again. I couldn't help to think that some of the reason we were was because of Edward's absence.

We were just outside of Forks when Jacob whispered huskily in my ear, "Do you still have the blanket in here?"

My eyes shot up to him as I reached behind me, uncovering our make-out blanket. Jacob took a sharp left onto a dirt road and cut the engine when we were right outside the tree line.

Jacob took no time taking off his shirt and jeans _and _my shirt and jeans, casually throwing them around the bed of the truck. We made out under the stars just like we always did and then my bra came off. "Are we going too far?" Jacob whispered in my ear before sucking on my earlobe.

"Mmm, no. Just no sex." I was almost reconsidering even that statement when Jacob slipped his fingers into my panties.

He started massaging me in circles while lapping and nipping at my neck. I got frustrated and pushed my panties all the way down and off of me.

"Oh, Bella!" He groaned as he ground himself against my now bare hip.

"Faster, please?" I begged him. My fingers trailed to his briefs and underneath. His fingers left my sex for a few seconds as he squirmed out of his briefs, freeing himself for my disposal. When his finger returned two entered me and I arched my back in pleasure.

I grabbed him and slowly started stroking him up and down. He pushed into my hand as he picked up the pace, pumping in and out of me. We soon started a fast paced rhythm with each other. I was on the hilt of climaxing and I could tell Jacob was too by the way he was groaning and grinding against me. I found my release, moaning Jacob's name over and over, which then brought him to his own release. He called out my name and rolled on top of me coming on my hips and up to my navel.

"Baby, that was amazing." Jacob breathed against my breast.

"Uh huh." Was all I could muster out.

We were tangled up in each other for the next few minutes on the bed of the truck before we cleaned each other off and got dressed. We sat there for a few more minutes when we were dressed, kissing and whispering words like I and love and you.


End file.
